Another day closer...

May 30, 2012

So, i still haven't heard from the doctor's office yet stating they've sent off my stuff to the ins company.  I figure i'll give them until next week and see if there is anything else they require.  i mentioned earlier that I deal with insurance companies ALL DAY LONG (yes, even Medicare and Medicaid and YES i'm still sane!....ish) so I'm NOT afraid to call an insurance company and be all up in their business about getting this approved.  I work literally three buildings down from the BCBS office in my town.  You think I won't go knock on their door??  This is going to change. my. life.

So i've got this friend (male) who i originally wasn't going to tell about my surgery, but then I've always been completely honest with him (with the exception of my feelings...) so i figure, why not??  So I tell him a couple months back.  his response: you're going to look terrible naked.

and then he proceeds to tell me that I need to create an online dating profile!  Excuse me...Hi, yeah, i feel like I look terrible with CLOTHES ON!  In the DARK!  with a BLIND PERSON!  Seriously.  Anyone else feel that way? 

I don't know.  We had a thing once, but he was very...inexperienced?  even though he's older than me.  I don't have that much experience, but compared to zero, i have a ton.

The thing is...he's a nice guy sometimes and he's very smart, but he's always putting his friends down.  I don't want to be part of that, as who knows what he says to his friends about me! 

So I've not created an online dating profile.  I'm not comfortable with myself enough to do that.  Sure, i'm a catch....like a whale!  (Wait, i'm probably not supposed to say stuff like that, huh??  i'm sure you've been there and understand where I'm coming from, though!) I just want to be happy....and right now, with my two dogs, my cat and myself, I'll curl up with a book and I'll read for hours and I'm just fine. 

The last books I read most recent to latest:

Outlander (just started this AM)
The Time Traveler's Wife (finished last night)
Fifty Shades Freed (finished Saturday)
War of the Worlds (finished Wednesday night last week)
Fifty Shades Darker 
The Invisible Wall
Fifty Shades of Grey
The Lucky Child
The Zookeeper's Wife
Three Feet from Gold

Okay, so clearly i have no social life...or perhaps I'm just a fast reader. 

What's next after Outlander?  I think either Emma or Anna Karenina.  I feel like I need a classic.  they make me feel smarter, you  know. 

Reading also takes me out of myself...i can be whoever I want, whenever I want as I read the stories of these strong characters, and I don't just mean women.  No I don't see myself as the main character, but i see myself alongside them...experiencing their experiences, living their lives, dreaming their dreams and realizing my own.

Did you read the Hunger Games?  I did.  all three three times!  plus I listened to them on audio.  Lame huh? 

So, it seems like my passion is reading right? NO!  it's NOT!  It's travel!  but who wants to pay for two airline seats?  Or have their knees, hips and back kill them their entire vacation because of a lengthy car ride?  I love..love...love...LOVE Europe.  iv'e been 3 times.  I want to go back SO SO badly and I will!  when I don't go over as a typical overweight Southerner.  So instead of doing what I LOOOOOVE to do...I've found something else that still takes me away from now....takes me away from me.

Will someone out there ever realize how great I am? 

Will *I* ever realize how great I am?  

maybe not today....but soon.  soon I'll realize my own potential. 

love to all and HAPPY HUMP DAY! 

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