48 days and counting!

Jul 19, 2012

Well, it's true!  I'm approved and scheduled!  RNY on September 5!!  It's still very surreal to me at this point.  The shock of the finances was ...almost too much, but because of my amazing support system of friends and family, the money won't be an issue.  Some of my mother's siblings sent me money (not sure if I mentioned that previously) and I'm nearly halfway to my financial goal.  My best friend of 25+ years is cosigning on a Care Credit card for me.  Fortunately, Roller's office does the 24-month paid in full no interest.  Because of the amount i've already saved just this 6 months, I should be able to pay my bill off within 24 months.  Goal is 20 months, just in case.  I'll have to charge about 7K, but I really hope insurance doesn't screw me up.  I'll figure it out if it happens, though. 

It's weird... I think maybe I'd mentioned not going out into the "world" and finding someone to date prior to my surgery because this is the time i focus on me?  well, if not...that was my plan.  but you know how when you make plans, they say God laughs?  well evidently he's laughing pretty hard at me right now.  Suddenly two guys that I USED to date are back in the picture...at the SAME time!  I'm not actively pursuing them, though.  I AM however having a good time letting them chase me.  I'm proud of myself for not giving in too easily....hungry for love and affection and all that. 

Meh.  i think it's overrated sometimes.  Don't get me wrong, I DESPERATELY want to find someone to love me and cherish me, but at the same time...I need to love and cherish MYSELF first. 

Yes, I had my first therapy appointment yesterday.  I was terrified.  Still am, if I'm honest, but i know I have to fix ALL of me in order for this to work.  I KNOW i can't expect to have surgery and it fix ALL my problems.  that's not realistic.  So, i'm facing them before they cause me further issues.

Side note, I painted Stitches front paw nails last night with Ruby Slipper polish by Del Sol.  I'm not sure if they change in the sunlight on her or not, as I've not been outside with the dogs tonight, but...it looks pretty good if I may say so!  It's the first time in my life I"ve ever painted my dog's nails...any of my dogs.

I've been sick....5 weeks of bronchitis, did the steroid thing but now the doc thinks maybe its GERD, but i'm already taking 40MG Omeprazole daily.  I thought maybe it was anxiety or asthma (never suffered from that before) but i'm starting to wonder if it isn't an allergic reaction to the whey powder I bought.  I LOVE the banana, but i realized tonight that all this started about the same time I bought that flavor.  It may or may not be affecting me, but my breathing is weak which has made it difficult to exercise.  Between the breathing and the heat, i'm just not doing it.  I lay in bed mostly....I know, NOT moving in the right direction, but I have been watching my foods and I am still down 8 lbs from my first weigh in with Roller.

Next Tuesday is the next support group meeting.  I'm pretty excited.  I always learn so much, so maybe i'll learn something new I can share!  I met two great ladies last time and maybe I'll get to meet some folks this time, too.  It's always good to have a support system....especially if they  really understand where you've been, your previous struggles and your hopes for the future.

I hope I can support others in my future the way my support system has supported me.  it's love and maybe, just maybe, I'm worthy of it...I'm really starting to believe I am.  even if it is just a little bit.

Love to all! x

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