Sarah C.
"You aren't THAT big!"
Jul 30, 2012
Have you gotten this?? UGH! I got it TWICE over the weekend and I'm not entirely sure how I should take it. I've intentionally kept a lid on my surgery situation because I don't want to be judged by people who don't really count.
But I've started seeing this guy and he calls me fun sized. We've known each other for a while, but he hasn't seen me go through the struggles I've gone through over the years. He's not a thin fellow, either, but I'm smitten and it is tough for me because I KNOW things in my life are going to change. I didn't want to get involved with anyone for a while because of this change that is coming. As they say, you make plans for your future and God laughs. Yeah, well, he is probably crying from laughing so hard at me right now, but hey, at least I am making Him laugh and not be angry with me, hmm?
I just wish folks understood, you know? Perhaps I carry my excessive weight well? (I don't, trust me...) or maybe people's idea of "big" varies greatly? If i wasn't "THAT big" then insurance wouldn't have approved my procedure. I wouldn't have started BP meds at age 29, wouldn't suffer from PCOS, have a lower likelihood of depression, find shame in shopping, and wish that I was a shadow.
I'm 37 days out, including today and I've still not posted anything specific on FB. Sure, i've put things like "37 days" or "Got approved!" or "man, no drinking water 30 minutes before and after eating is tough!" so SOME people know...but only because they've either experienced it themselves or they have someone they love that has experienced it. Heck, I haven't even "Liked" my surgeon's page! What's that about?? I'm NOT embarrassed about my decision. In fact, i'm THRILLED I'm finally putting myself first.
So...should I put my fear of my future personality changes (not multiple personality type changes) aside and see where this goes with this guy? He reminds me very much of Jamie from the Outlander series. He's kind, works hard, is very close to his family and I expect would be close to me too, if I allowed it.
Now...why am I stressing over someone that I kind of already have when most of my life I've worried about never finding anyone?? What an interesting change of events!
Love to all :)
Sarah x
PS: I AM that big and I AM ready for this. It's MY time.
