One week left and I'm READY!

Aug 29, 2012

By this time next week, I'll probably be up walking for the first time post-surgery.  My surgery is the 5th and I have to be at the hospital by 5:30 AM.  not terrible...I'll just get to sleep most of the rest of the day, save walking time and FOOTBALL! *cue clip from Major League where the coach is in the hospital listening to the game on his personal radio and his team makes a great play, so he's jumping up and down on the bed and the nurse walks in and he screams I LOVE THIS BRITISH SH*T* 

aye, good times. 

now a few concerns.  I'm going to be very sad if my Dad doesn't come visit while I'm in the hospital.  He HATES hospitals, but he ESPECIALLY hates it when his children are in it.  Now granted, mine is for a surgery we've planned for, and he MAY come visit, but I won't lie...I will be devastated if he doesn't at least come say hello.  The hospital where I'm having my surgery has one wing of the 5th floor dedicated to bariatric patients...the other wing...BABIES!  I mean, C'mon...surely THAT will tempt him!  I understand the hate of hospitals because people go there to die or are extremely injured but....the baby floor?  Now that's a place of happiness! 

As I think I've said before, I'm definitely worried about work.  Two different worries.  1) things will fall apart while I'm gone but 2) they'll realize how little they need me and they'll get rid of me.  Everyone I've mentioned the second thought to says that's not possible, that I'm a crucial member of this team and that it will be a struggle while I'm gone. 

I have been on my pre-op diet for a week now, but I'm probably eating more than I should.  I'm not eating things they said I couldnt' have, I've only eaten things they said I COULD have, but I still feel like maybe I'm doing things wrong.

I was 245 last Thursday according to their scales.  According to mine that day I was at 243.8.  According to mine this morning I am 239.8.  Going the right direction, if nothing else. 

On one of the message boards, someone asked how we're each preparing for our upcoming surgery and I had a list of things, but other people did too.  When I was at my preop appointment, there was one person who'd only been to ONE other appointment prior to her pre-op and her surgery was yesterday!  I was floored!  So while I've been worried there was more preparation I could be doing, I have discovered that sure, there are more things I COULD learn, but I've done a VAST amount of research, learning, reading, talking to others who've had it, planning, prepping, and soul searching. I'm ready.  I'm nervous, don't get me wrong, but I'm ready. 

My doctor and his staff have done a great job preparing me for this procedure, but I've done a great job preparing MYSELF.  Sure, there are things I don't know, but I'm not going in blind.  I've got an idea of what's on the other side, and I know it's only good things I will find there.

I'd love to say that in one week I'm going to change my life, but the second I made this decision....fully made it....I changed my life.  I started moving in a direction that will bring me joy, health, love of MYSELF, and the ability to shed this shell that I've been hiding in for so long.

I'm an amazing person.  People have told me that my entire life....I've always doubted it.  but something inside me has changed and I'm starting to learn that others...they're right.  I'm AWESOME and TOTALLY WORTH IT!

Love to all! 
x
Sarah

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