:/ things

Oct 25, 2012

so the other day i had made a list of reasonable goals :) anyway so i went to the psych eval part one and i think i am too blunt sometimes. i give it to you straight not around the bush. anyway so apparently i talk to much and i dont know. it was annoying. i think she got offended of me saying that some things are not her business and that i work on things with my real therapist and thats all she needs to know. oops did that piss her off. i could tell. she didn't say she did. i asked her if that was going to affect me getting surgery. she said no ut it does raise a red flag....boo....usually i am an open book but one thing she asked i was defensive because it wasnt something to dig up and bring to the surface. i mean i know a few people who get by psych evals without know s**t about the surgery their getting into. anyway i can hope for the best :)   i found it very therapeutic to write letter to loved ones and people who are close to me a goodbye letter. it made me feel better to know if something did happen they know i left on a good note. and could have a happy joyful letter to read after i am gone. and to let them all know that they are special to me. but just because i wrote that doesn't mean i am dreading the worst. i am just looking at reality. and stuff can happen. will it happen. maybe maybe not. but i am okay with whatever happens :)  im ready.

but i still have to get through this whole process! it has been 8 months (including my 6 month diet) and i am finally having a consultation on November 3rd. its a really good surgeons office so they're busy a lot :/

im just getting so anxious to start i just cant wait to see if this helps with my hs!!!

on a side note i have lost another ten pounds! yay! but i cant get this stupid ticker thing to show it... oh well

well have a good day/night everyone!

shawna

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