Need to start over again and again and again....

Jun 24, 2010

Its been almost 2 years since my LapBand Surgery.  I started off doing great. Went from 297 to 218 # in about 1 year.  But then the old me woke up and I realized that there were other foods I could tolerate, like cake and ice cream, cookies, ribs, potato salad.  The list kept growing.  Sure there are foods I don't do well with like bread, chicken, spaghetti, mac & cheese, beef. But, it doesn't bother me to eliminate those from my diet.  I have so much more to choose from.  I've gained about 20 lbs back and I'm so  upset with myself.  I'm so embarrassed.  Even though I understood that the LapBand was only a tool to be used in my weightloss walk, I've realized that I really didn't understand how to use this tool.  Mainly, my eating problem is much deeper than I ever realized.  Everyday is a battle.  I make it pretty good during the day but at bedtime like clockwork I start having almost uncontrollable cravings for food, bad food.  I can sometimes fight it with a bowl of cereal but manytimes I loose the battle and give in.  Everyday I have to start over.  Today, for the first time, I read the OH Newsletter and realized that I'm not in this alone and many are going through what I am going through.  I was so frustrated that I didn't want to tell anyone how tough this was and how I felt like a failure. I should have been active on this site a long time ago. What are you doing to win this battle?  How are you staying on track? Or, getting back on track?  

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