I hope you dance....

Feb 20, 2011

Its been a roller coaster -these past few months!  I have been getting smaller and smaller.  Yesterday I found the courage to go into Penningtons to see if I could fit into jeans and dress pants.  I can!  Size 28.  I am the same person who not too long ago had to buy 8x clothing online.  Everytime I feel my hip bones, or reach around myself to scratch my back or fit into a chair with arms I get teary eyed and say a silent prayer of praise and thanks to God who gave me this gift of health.

I wear my emotions on my sleeve!  Years of crippling depression along with the weight gain have left their mark on me.   As the weight has come off so has the depression lifted.  When I feel that familiar cloud start to come over me, I can cope and work my way out of it. However sometimes I feel ashamed that I could not lose weight without the surgery.  But I know that if I start to entertain these negative thoughts of shame and self-pity that not long behind them will be the feelings. So I remember that by choosing to have the surgery I chose the road to renewed health and a better life.   I made a choice that I will no longer let depression overwhelm me.  I made the decision to fight.  I made the decision to surrender the pain to God and let him replace it with joy.

*I did that*.   

There are some words to a song that inspire me.  The song is I hope you Dance by Lee Ann Womack.  I hope her message of hope will touch you as well.  Cheers, until next blog, Susan
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance.

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