sweethollow
Heading to the hospital soon
Jul 21, 2010
Well, today is the day. It is finally here. In a few hours, I will be headed to the hospital. I think I will spend the time until then cleaning - sort of like "nesting" when you are about to give birth.My mom and dad called me last night, and were asking me how I felt and if I felt ready for today. When I shared my thoughts with them, my mom said I really should write all this down. I should have done it right then and there, because now I can't remember what I told her, lol.
I am surprised that I am not more nervous than I am. I have many people praying for me, and I feel those prayers. I have not second guessed my decision since I have begun this journey. I have been obese for too long and hated every minute of it. Every time I talk to someone, I think to myself, "I wonder how nice it must be to be that size". I think of the book "Anne of Green Gables", when Anne talkes about how she uses books to escape her difficult circumstances as an orphan, and imagines herself to be in far better places, but she hates having red hair and says, "I simply cannot 'imagine' away my red hair!" That's sort of how I feel - I simply cannot imagine away my fat.
I am ready to let go of food as a source of comfort, stress relief and simply pleasure. It is no longer worth the cost. I know that it will always be there, and it will always take strength and discipline to resist - thanks to everyone who has gone before me, and have been willing to share those struggles here on the forum. I am glad to know to expect to have to deal with that after the surgery.
I have already dealt with severe food allergies to dairy, and corn ( which comes in many forms and is in nearly anything processed!). I can't eat out, I never eat fast food, no pizza, no ice cream, etc. So I know that I will not be tempted to eat those things. I have been avoiding them for 13 years. My allergies also present some challenges for this surgery, as I cannot have the bariatric drink since it contains both corn and milk protein. So I have had to "piece together" a list of foods that I can have and make sure I am still getting all the necessary nutrients. I have also been unable to find any artificial sweeteners that do not contain dextrose ( a corn derived sugar), so I cannot have any of the bariartric products, such as puddings, etc. I can't even have diet jello. But I am used to this, so I will get through it.
But these challenges aside, I am so very thankful to have the hope of getting to a healthier weight, and feeling better, and for many other things it will help. And most of all, I am thankful to the Lord who has me in His care, and for my family and friends who love me, encourage me and are praying for me.
0 Comments
About Me
Collierville, TN
Location
31.5
BMI
Surgery
07/22/2010
Surgery Date
Jun 13, 2010
Member Since
