tashalpn2006
The Beginning
Feb 23, 2010
I have struggled with weight all my life. I was always and active child and teen. Cheerleading, Dance, bike riding. There was no such thing as sitting in front of a TV in our house, we never even had cable until i turned 17. Only during a three year period when i battled depression from 16-19 was i ever a healthy way, but got there under unhealthy terms. I weight 145 to 175 during that time. After the age of 19 I gained and lost, gained and lost. One diet after another. I worked out at least three days per week sometimes more. Weights, Cardio, curcit training, water areobics ect. My highest weight was 278 which was recently the lowest i ever got as an adult was 6 years ago at 205. These 73 + pounds have come and gone during pregnancy, when i'd crash diet ect. But it finally hit me about a month ago. I keep gaining and it's no longer coming off. I work out at Curves 3 days a week, and in the span of 2mo i've only lost 3 lbs. My weight has started to affect my moods and self image the most. I no longer enjoy things like motorcycle riding, going to the park, bowling etc because i'm too heavy and my back hurts, my knees ache after walking or standing for long periods of time. But what hurt the most, was my oldest son 4yrs old, looking at me and saying "mommy i wish you werent so big so you could play on the playground with us". I cried, I was mad, I was hurt, but mostly I was sad because he was right. I can no longer play with my kids, enjoy time with them because of my weight. Enough is Enough, and I've made a decision. I spoke with my doctor and she has put in referrals to a nutrition clinic to do classes, and also to a bariatric surgeon to discuss WLS as a more approriate aid to my weight loss. I'm crossing my fingers to get approved and move along in my journey. I know it will not be easy but food is no longer a comfort, something or someone that comforts you is not supposed to hurt you. I am ready to move on with my life, enjoy my children, and do things i've never done before...
