Hard Pill To Swallow!!

Jul 26, 2011

Yesterday was suppose to be the start of a new lifestyle for me. To reset and restart.  Well after waiting 18 months for my date, making all the plans. My  mom coming down, daycare for the kids, extra support in place in case I need it. Telling everyone how excited I was and how ready I was.  Waiting for 4 hours in a hospital gown only to see my handsome Doctor walk in the doors to tell me it is not happening.  Whoosh so many feelings over came me. I cried, he held my hand. Told me that someone needed him to do surgery and that it would be to late for him to do mine. ( totally agree with him there ) But WOW... What a hard pill to swallow. ( and I even bought a new pill crusher!!! )  I called my hubby who had my cloths. They tell us that they need to do this so things won't get lost. ( I get it ) So I had to wait an Hour for him to come for the only thing that I had on that was mine were my socks!!!! ( and  those were really my hubby's.  I cried allot that night. ( yesterday ) and a few times today.  

I am not trying to be selfish. I am very grateful that we have doctors that are here to help us when we need them and that some else was just a little more in need than I was. But.. that does not stop me from falling down from my emostioal high that I was on seconds before my Dr. walked in the door to tell me.

So now I wait. To hear what they plan to do with me. It is out of my control and there is nothing I can do. I know they will do their best and I have faith that they will.... I just hope it is soon.

the good thing NO MORE OPTI!!! woohoo!!

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