So emotional, but so strong

Mar 18, 2013

I have many things I'm working through as I inch closer to more appointments. Tomorrow is the nutritionist, I've done my homework and wrote a 2 day diary of my food intake. It was not very pretty, and let's face it, I know why I'm where I am today. 

Today I brought up something with my very supportive husband. I think I brought it up the wrong way. I don't have a right to ask him to change, but I was curious if he had thought about all the changes that will be coming to fruition and whether or not his 3 x 64 oz slurpee habit or cigarettes were going to follow him to his grave. He is not overweight. Has no problems with weight, but his teeth are starting to decay and I can only imagine the toll the cigarettes are taking. I am not asking him to fix this now, I just wondered if my decision to have surgery to help myself had any impact on his smoking cessation or what not. His response was, so if you fail - it's my fault for not quiting too? Of course that's not the equation. Then it was something along the lines of - well, I can't have surgery to stop those things. He knew what he said was hurtful, and apologized a little while later. 

I am certain this will be a topic I revisit with the psychologist. I'm okay making my changes, but I don't want to become resentful of my husband when I see him enjoying life in a usual way. His grandfather died of lung cancer so I have a vested interest in his smoking habit coming to an end. I want as many years as I can muster from him. 

I'm trying my hand this week - I'm following the pre surgical diet of 2 meals of protein shakes and a dinner of protein, veggies and no liquid. Plenty of water as usual. I can do this. 

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