I HAVE CHANGED....???

Jan 22, 2010

Tonight i was talkn with a friend that made the comment that i seem "different".  Now this is a supportive person of my surgery and knows every step i take toward making this dream reality. I kept asking how it is that im acting or what on earth seems to have changed...finally they asked me if i have a new love in my life??!!
I said yes...IT IS ME! IM IN LOVE WITH MYSELF!! It has been a very long time since i put myself first and after much heartache and disappointment i have decided that if i dont start to love myself and treat myself the way i deserve..then im probably going to be one old, sad, miserable lady!! All alone for eternity cuz no one wants to be around me. I tend to look to those close to me (especially my man) for that love and comfort but it just isnt there. So i know it starts here.......  IM GONNA LOVE ME.. DONT'T CARE IF ANYONE ELSE EVER DOES!!

 if by any chance you dont know how freakn excited I am that Monday is Jan 25th..let me tell you--- I AM GOING TO HAVE MY 4 HOUR APPOINTMENT--FIRST I MEET THE BARIATRIC COORDINATOR AT THE LIFESTYLE CENTER FOR AN HOUR. THEN I MEET WITH THE DIETICIAN FOR THE NUT EVAL, THEN I MEET THE PSYCHOLOGIST (THIS ONE IM WORRIED ABOUT..HA!FCKN HA!), THEN LAST I MEET WITH A FITNESS GOO-ROO.
ONCE MY PAPERWORK IS SENT BACK TO DR RUTLEDGE ALL IM WAITING FOR IS A SURGERY DATE!!!!!
So what am i doing this weekend?? Filling out the 100 pages of crap...as if we havent seen enough of this already..oh and dont forget the $162 i have to pay to spend the day with strangers picking my brain to see how bad i really want this...LOL 
HOW MUCH LONGER COULD THEY TORTURE ME....I JUST WANT TO BE ON THE OTHER SIDE FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE....PLEEEZZZZZZZ!

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