Single...

Mar 17, 2009

I'm single now.  After four years of trying to make it work from a distance (due to Hurricane Katrina) we decided to call it quits.  Nick and I will remain friends but he distinctly said that it's time to move on.  I did something to instigate the break up, something really terrible that I should not have done that was both disrespectful and specifically against everything we laid out for our relationship.  In retrospect, I think I set out to sabotage it. 

Honestly, it's a relief.  Not knowing when I'm going to see him all the time and not know what our future was going to be together was taking a told on me.  He put so many conditions on love and our future... now I can concentrate totally on what I want and find someone who cares about me completely.  But I'm in no rush for that.  I told J. that the break-up should not change our friendship in anyway, but I sense he was confused about my composure.  I tried to explain that it'd been a long time coming and that it just needed to happen.  I hope that sufficed.   

Now that I'm losing weight, it seems all the boys are coming out of the woodwork again.  Guys I hadn't talked to in years emailing me asking how I'm doing... I'm concentrating on one at a time right now.  J. is such a sweet guy and I really enjoy hanging out with him.  We're off to the pub tonight to hang out for St. Patrick's Day.  I will have my water with Crystal Light and try to get him to drink my share of green beer since I'm off the hooch. 

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