After a 20 month hiatus....

Aug 02, 2012

So, i'm 31 and I've not had a period in 20 MONTHS!  No, not pregnant, not on birth control and no spotting.  It just...STOPPED. 

and then yesterday happened.

I don't know why, but it did.  I don't know if it's because I'm seeing someone for the first time in as long, or if it is because I've lost a few lbs, or if it's because i was taken off my BP meds or something completely random like a full moon, but....

it's BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!

Sure, i've noticed that my face was slicker than the waters around the Exxon Valdez, and that my eating habits had changed (suddenly craving CRAP when i've been careful for these months!) and yes, i've noticed that my sexual appetite has definitely resurfaced, but I didn't put the signs together. 

and then bam. 

I'd forgotten how painful my cycles were....or ... are, i guess.  and all I've done is complain about it for two days. but as I was sitting here i realized...Why am I complaining?!  I can't EVER have kids if I don't first have a period!  That's one of the reasons I'm having WLS.  So, why complain?  Okay, so I won't COMPLAIN, but I'm not exactly up for embracing it, either. 

I suppose it is making me be proactive.  I know that my hormones are (possibly) going to go nuts after WLS, so I'm going to get the depo shot tomorrow and go ahead and get the meds into  my system before my WLS.  Everything I've read said you have to be EXTRA EXTRA careful post WLS because of the hormone surges paired with the confidence boost. 

I need confidence right now.  The anxiety caused by the thought of telling that guy what I'm feeling is...almost overwhelming.  it's fear...I know that.  i've been anxious about it for 3 days.  and yet, I can't bring myself to tell him.  I'd rather do it in person, but i'm so afraid I'll cry.  Why do we cry when we're nervous?! ugh! 

Okay.  Grab the bull by the cahones.  do it.  I'll regret it if I don't. 

Will update later.

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