Time to get real! Ouch! But Yay, too!

Sep 20, 2009

Ok, full-on, 100% honest, in-my-face-so-I-can-deal-with-it-now confession to self time!  I know that we all deal with issues as we travel through our lives, whether we are fat (formerly 304 pounds, like me), thin (my thinnest was 147, dr. said too thin), or inching upward (178 this morning for me). For a bmi calculator to say I'm of normal weight, I have to  weigh 154.5. That's really a comfortable weight for me, and I have no doubt that I could hit it and stay there if I lived alone and had a controlled environment/schedule.  However, that isn't my life!

I have three teenaged sons, ages right now are 16, 14, and 13.  They can eat a side of beef and a five gallon bucket of ice cream and not gain an ounce. They love their mama's cooking ( I am pretty dang good at it! lol) and I love to cook for them. It makes me really happy when I make them a great meal or snack and they love it, want more of it, and thank me for it.  It's nice! However, I have a tendency to want to taste everything I make them. Every cook does that, I know. But the problem is that this cook/baker is a recovering food addict, and one taste usually leads to a sliver and then another sliver later and....well, you know.  Leads to pounds gained, and me feeling pudgy and a little nervous about things.

What I need are Sam Malone powers. Remember him? He was the owner the bar on Cheers. He was a recovering alcoholic, but owned the bar and never indulged. That's what I need. Anyone out there know where I can sign up for Sam Malone powers? I do remember that he then transferred addictions to a sex addiction, but I'm not really down with that. Let's leave that part out.

Realistically, I know what it takes. I can't require that my hubs and kids eat salad with grilled chicken at every meal and sf fudgsicles alone for dessert. It's not really fair to them to starve them.  Their bodies' metabolism burns well, so they need more than that. Fine. What can I do for me, to make it fair for me?

Let's list it out.

1.  I can make sure I have all the supplies I need to make protein shakes. I know protein keeps me on an even keel, so that I'm not having carb cravings non-stop. I let myself run out, and then I fret over the carb cravings, as if I didn't know why.  60 grams a day is the minimum my surgeon gave me. Am I meeting that? No? Then wonder why carbs seem to be calling my name louder than ever? Duh, Steph.

2.  Have an eating plan.  I tend to be a grab and snack girl, whenever the urge hits me. OH YEAH! That's how I got up to 304 pounds! Silly me. Ok, so  grabbing on the fly is not the way for me to go. I must have a plan at the start of the day, and a schedule. That helps me to calm down; I can look at the schedule and say, ok, don't freak out, Steph, you're eating again in 45 minutes, you will make it that long. Get your face out of the fridge. I have to put the protein drinks on the schedule, too, or I'll forget to have them.

3. The dainty Southern Belle that lives inside of me hates to discuss this one, but she needs to get over herself: exercise. I have to get sweaty. 30 minutes a day, five days a week, and my body feels great. Actually, when I get started, I tend to do more like an hour, as 30 minutes seems too short. Walking the neighborhood, going to the fitness park with Yvette or Kyli, or doing Leslie Sansone WalkBlaster at home are all options that I can easily do and don't cost a cent. Get off your derriere, Southern Belle.

4. Do NOT mix food and drink. This is a basic principle for WLS patients, and I have broken it at times. Almost all WLS peeps who regain weight break this rule.  I'm done with breaking it. I'm following the rule, even when it's inconvenient.

5. Calorie counting; ugh. I have to admit that this makes me feel like my grandmother.  She used to have a little calorie book and counted all her calories each day. (She was diabetic, as was granddaddy, and their children, who include my mom, who died from a diabetes-caused heart attack in '03. My inspiration for WLS.) On the bright side, the calorie book is not a part of my life! I have technology on my side so that calorie counting can be cool!!! I have the "LoseIt" app installed, for free, on my iPhone. It is so easy to use and I practically shower with my iPhone, so I never am without the calorie counter/log. I am logging calories in and exercise. My calorie limit, acc. to them, should be about 1159 a day.  I hope they know what they're talking about. :)

6. Taking all my vitamins/minerals:  I am pretty good about this one, SINCE I DON'T WANT TO DIE. If you're reading this, have had WLS, and are not taking lots of vits/minerals, you are on your way to death. No lie, no exaggeration. Go to Vitalady.com and ask Michelle what you need to be on. One multi and some calcium carbonate are not helping you, trust me. Two big multis, lots of calcium citrate, lots of D, lots of Bvitamins, supplemental iron, and you're good to go. Be realistic. If you're an ostrich with your head in the sand, you are suffocating yourself, nutritionally speaking. Don't die over something as easy as taking vitamins and minerals properly.

7.  Support! I can see where the loss of support has hurt me.  I used to go to support group, but it got less and less useful to me (dominated by banders who I don't have anything in common with, surgically/nutritionally speaking) and I used to be on OH a lot, but got in my little comfort zone and quit coming here. Many people do that, as we start living our lives, not obsessing about "when can I have surgery? Two weeks til surgery! I've lost 30 pounds this month" anymore, once we get to goal. Selfish, really. We need to be here for those who are coming behind us and have questions. Plus, it keeps me centered when I'm thinking about the surgery, the tool, the rules, etc.  I need to get my focus. I can blog here and rant/rave about everything that I'm going through. I love it when I'm here!

That's it for the list for now; I will be thinking on this and adding more to the list as I think of helpful things. I hope, if you read this, you will comment and let me know if it insults, inspires, challenges, annoys, or does anything else to you. I love comments.  Let me hear from you, and I will reply.  :)

6 Comments