Self-insured/no written exclusion, ridiculous criteria!

I am preparing my appeal letters to both my insurance (third party administrator) and the benefits committee where I work. Both the insurance and the committee denied me benefits. The benefits committee thought I was asking them to extend our current benefits when I asked for their support. I want to make them understand that I want them to make the insurance revise their ridiculous criteria so that I can get benefits under our current package. Since there is no exclusion, I am entitled to these benefits as long as I can prove they are medically necessary. I feel I must be missing something here, so I want to make certain all of my bases are covered in preparing the appeal materials. First, I am going to write a letter referenceing the ADA guidelines, EEOC guidelines, NIH guidelines, all of which show I am considered disabled and that I meet the NIH guidlines for treatment so I can probably prove discrimination under the EEOC rules. They offer benefits for alcohol and drug treatment, so they must offer the same to me, a disabled person, right? I want to make sure I am right about that before I start making claims that could come off as threats to my company. I have worked here 7 years, and I do not want to make big waves, BUT I do want this surgery. Second, I am going to ask my ortho to write me a letter, as well as my chiropractor. I don't have high bp, diabetes, cardiac problems or anything "life-threatening" (other than extreme morbid obesity.) But, I do have GERD, joint pain, back pain, shortness of breath on exertion and of course a BMI of 53. So, do you think I should concentrate on getting my company to make the insurance revise their criteria to a more reasonable standard, (see my profile to read the criteria I am referring to)? Or, should I go after them with the ADA information regarding discrimination? I don't know if I can afford a lawyer, so I don't want to spout off in these letters that I am going to secure legal representation to press the matter. Also, I don't know if a lawyer would even help since my company is self-insured. Any advice would be really helpful.

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