How do you overcome your fear to get healthier?

I have been lurking for over a year,and even sent off for a packet from surgeon.A co-worker was having this done(dec 01),so I decided to research it.Well she passed away 3 weeks post-op,and I decided to live fat was better than not at all! She had leakage from the bowel from what I heard.I was not real close to her,but just knowing this was upsetting.I have had 2 ops in my life,tonsils,then gall bladder removal.My neuro says I need a lumbar fusion on my back(DDD,and 2 herniations)but if I was to lose weight it might be preventived.I have high cholesterol(282) and a family history of diabetes,heart attack.I know I would feel better,and be so much healthier if I lost at least 100#s,but I have 2 children,and my co-worker left behind a 5 y/o for someone else to raise.I am so scared!! Scared to do nothing,scared to do something!! Any advice?

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