Weight Loss Surgery Directory

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Naes Wls J.
Post Op - BMI: 30.9
Surgery Type: RNY
Member ID: c1033499184
Web Site: http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/profile.phtml?N=J1055035928
Surgeon: C. E. Pasupathy M.D.

Click here for Naes Wls's surgery support page
Click here for Before & After pictures page
Click here for the 12/2002 Reunion Page
Click here to print Naes Wls's cards
(You can print your own cards, and if you're good at it,
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**LORD WATCH OVER ME**




~~~~REMEMBER~~~
He's A on time God, Oh yes he is! He may not come when you want him. But he's always right on time. He's A on time God, Oh yes he is! ~*~Hugs~*~






DR.C. E PASUPATHY MD,PA IS MY SURGEON,
General,Vascular & Cardio-Thoracic surgery

Christian B. Calaguas, MPH,RD
Clinical Dietitian





NADINE's WLS JOURNEY


~*~LOOK AT MY PICS @ BOTTOM OF PROFILE WAY DOWN~*~



~*~PRE-OP BMI IS 68.7~*~


10/2/02- My name is Nadine, some people call me Nae. I'm 48 years young, born AUGUST 14th 1954. happily divorced free to do as I darn well please. lol, with 4 kids well almost free,LOL
1 boy, age 23, 3 girls 21, 16 and 13 yrs old. I go to church and I LOVE THE LORD. I've been overweight almost all my life. But NEVER this large. When I was young I was called big boned. I have many co-morbidities such as hypertension, diabetes II. ( I take 13 pills a day and a needle (30 units) at night) also high cholesterol, asthma, joint pain, PSORIASIS, no periods for years, which I will not ever missed. Also I've had more embarassments then I care to remember, or to say, and have been dealing with those yo-yo diets. Only time I lost a large amount of weight was when my marriage was falling apart, I lost 90lbs due to misery and having married a NUT. Remember if it look like a nut or act like a nut, it probably is a nut. (giggling) anyways I reached this weight through drowning in sorrow concerning him. When dealing with being alone I ate and ate and dranked and dranked and cried and cried my eyes out. I really did drink after the break up, I smoked,and smoked like a smoke stack. thank God I didn't do drugs. Then one day in my mind I missed being ME. And I QUIT DRINKING AND SMOKING AT THE SAME TIME, COLD TURKEY. This has been about 7yrs ago. I quit all the bad habits. But there was one more change I needed to do. Yes, my weight. The Nut left me because of it. Atlease that's what I think. Anyhow, I would diet, it would last a good month, then that was it, I remember every night in my prayer. I would ask God for help with my weight. I would always say God please help me. again and again. Then one night I discovered WLS on discovery health channel and obestityhelp. I feel I have a second chance to be happy. I feel I now have hope. And this was a blessing from God, He made a way. I wasted no time in reseaching this wls thing. I checked with my insurance, on weather they covered such a thing. And the answer was yes. I called two doctors, The first one I didn't pick only because I didn't want to travel up the busy highway. So I called the wl surgeon which my insurance and primary dr recommended. To get to him it's all country roads. I have a appointment with the surgeon in 15 days 10/16. I pray I can start my journey. So I'm saying **LET'S GET IT ON**. yeah!




~*~I HAVE A DATE~*~




~*~EVERYDAY IS A BLESSING~*~

~~10/16/02~~
Well I have my WLS date, it's 11/12/02. I'm happy but a little scared. I should say concerned. He was so direct and to the point. I found myself saying to myself ALRIGHT ALL READY! YOU said that!! I get the message. lol, He talked about all the risk, dangers and that I may die right there on the table.Oh my goodness! WOW! I did leave there with more info than I came in with. and a little shaken. By what he was saying. WHOA! I all ready knew this, but be face to face with the doctor telling you true facts kind of open up your brain. LOL I did do my homework but hearing this stuff is kind of scary. It will scare the heck out of you. after I talked to someone on this site, they told me that the Drs have to tell you all the good and the bad things about the WLS. I felt lots better then. Take someone with you for support. Well after my consultation. I have to get a complete pulmonory function with ABG's test also a upper GI. and a Echocardiogram, and from my primary Dr. a medical clearance. after these test and my insurance approval. my journey continues. I don't need no Psycho test, Dietician or sleep study. I'm glad of that. This site is GREAT I'm so glad I came across it. From beginning to the end of my journey I will have someone to relate to on good days as well as bad days. You are all GREAT. stay in touch as I will also. And for those before me pictures I'm still trying to get them on my profile. God bless you all on your Journey. and hang in there.




~*~I LOVE AND MISS YOU KEITH~*~





~~10/17/02~~
~*~REMEMBERING MY DEAR BROTHER~*~

Well friends How's things? Today has been kind of depressing to me. I find myself going through different kinds of emotions. I'm alright don't get me wrong. All I keep thinking about is, am I doing the right thing? Then I go into mediation with my GOD. After all we are talking about a surgery that may take me away from here. I'm also having a hard time thinking about my kids without me. and my family also.
I lost a brother last year due to his weight. he was 44 and died in his sleep. and guess what he died on 11/13/01. and my WLS is on 11/12/02. His death was unexpected. because we had just got him back in our lives a year earlier. He was a missing person since 1987. He had left on his birthday, Leaving his clothes on the line, and income tax everything he owned he left. we thought there was fowl play involved. we even had a police report along with flyers. years passed by. Our family didn't know which way to turn. We looked everywhere. We heard stories of people thinking they seen him. My dad died, nieces and nephews were born. Mom kept the faith that he will return. she was right, Then one day she gets a letter, then a phone call, he called all of his brothers and sisters. Couldn't talk for crying. Boy what a feeling. It felt so good. We were over come with joy. I remember him being so thrilled to have so many nieces and nephews. He played with them and took pictures galore. He came home on 11/10/00 and died 11/13/01 we had him for a year. anyhow It was like the missing link was put back and the chain was together again. he came home after he found out we were not mad at him for leaving. He cried and we cried , we hugged and kissed, we had BBQ's and we talked him in staying and not to go back to New York. So he didn't, after taking care of things in NY. He stayed with one of his brothers and got a job at the same place as his brother. He got a checking acct and even brought a used car.and even got health insurance. this same insurance put him away. Things were going great for him. We knew he had high blood pressure. The day before he passed his new insurance card came in and he was happy because now he didn't have to pay the high cost of medicine he needed. He went to the drugstore to get his med for high blood and was told to come back the next day because they were out and had to order it. Well we know there were no next day for him. He died in his sleep, and was found by my brother the next morning, he was trying to wake him up for work. He always said he had to tell us something, but he never got around to say what it was. Now we know. Even when he was taking his physical for the job they call the ambulance because it was so high. He suffered with this problem. and the rest we know. So this alone upsets me because it's his anniversary. I'm not going to change my date for the simple fact I don't believe in superstitions lol I'm a strong believer that. If it's your time to go, nothing is going to stop it. You can be in church at home anywhere. If your number comes up. You got to go. I'll be alright. I believe God sent him back to say his byes then took him to see his Dad. Boy I needed to get this out. It was bottled up in side so long. I feel better already. Sorry to rant on and on.
It's still fresh in my head what the doctor said. Oh well good people talk to you all later. Oh yes I've tryed my best to get my photos on my profile. but I'm having problems doing it. I'll keep working on it. I have two photos on picturetrail.com anyone with WLS today,speedy recovery.



~~PRE-OP~~
~*~IM OKAY~*~

~~10/18/02~~
Hello people, I feel better today. I was airing the other day. I was a little down after my visit with the surgeon. He didn't say nothing wrong. I was pleased with the visit. He was so blunt and to the point. I think what was really bothering me was about my brother .He kept saying "I have to lose weight. I guess his Dr had told him to do this. but we all know how hard it is to do. I wish he had known about WLS. He was way smaller than me. I don't get it. Why his weight affected him so. anyhow that's why I was so upset. But I'm fine now.
My Dr. office called me today and said my insurance had asked them for more info about me. but she said she see no problem and that they probably will approve me shortly, so the DR office gave me a appointment with the hospital to go get my pre-op tests done. they are on 10/06 and after leaving the hospital I'm to come to the office to see the doctor. His office is just across the street. How convenient for me. My last visit before surgery. so I will be busy getting these tests done. Monday I go to the primary care Dr to get referrals for 3 other tests and get the Dr to give me a clearance . So everything is starting to roll now forward to 11/12/02. Hey! my last meal will be a EARLY Thanksgiving dinner. lol I decided to do this because last year we didn't have a family dinner due to my brothers untimely passing. So for my kids I want to have dinner for them. BECAUSE after WLS no more pigging out. lol, I'm glad to begin a new way of eating.


This is the day which the Lord has made;
let us rejoice and be glad in it.
Psalms 118:24




~*~WORRING~*~




~~10/21/02~~
HELLO ALL. I'm happy today I went to my primary Dr. this morning. I asked for the head Dr. there. He is more open minded. matter of fact I always go to him when something was serious enough. I never trusted the others judgement. He doesn't fool around and he will get tests done. At first they gave me a nurse practitioner I always went to her and always liked her. but for this situation, I rather have the head doctor. Soon as I told her what I was there for she told me all the negitive sides, even about the girl I knew who died in town. Evidently the girl came to the same office. I think she was trying to scare me. Everytime she throw something at me to scare me. I let her know I knew all that because I had been doing research on wls and I knew alot about the many risk, and complications and death. She let me know she was against it.She left the room with tight jaws. lol I don't get it, it's not her body, why is she getting huffy? Then she went out to get the head dr. they were talking in the hallway, and I heard him say, is that what she wants? Then he entered the room, she never did come back. He asked me a few questions and after he seen I wasn't dumb on the facts. He gave me my referral to see the surgeon. He acted glad that I was wanting to do this. I gave him my prescription slips the wl surgeon gave me. I have to get referrals for the tests. Well my Primary Dr gave me those plus others that he(WLS dr) didn't even ask for. I'm alright with that because this is for my safety. My life is at stake here. So this week I have 3 tests to do. Tues, Thurs, & Fri. Busy, Busy , Busy lol. And one test they have to work me in a appointment because before I even knew about planning this WLS I had a appointment already in place for 11/30. So they are going to work something out. My WL surgeon didn't ask for this (stress test) but my primary Dr wants it done. I just hope this don't change my WLS date.




~*~MY PICTURE,FINALLY~*~
GUESS WHAT FOLKS? I CHECKED MY PROFILE. AND GUESS WHO WAS LOOKING BACK AT ME? YEAH, MEEEEEEE. I did it. I figured out how to send it to Vickie. How, I don't know. YIPPEEEEEE. Happy dance, happy dance, happy dance. YESSSSSS. Believe me I have no idea how I finally did it. The picture with me dressed up is about 9 years ago. and the other mug shot is me just chillin. as the kids say. lol I hope it don't scare no one to bad. lol lol OHHHH I'm so happy today. You all have a nice day you hear. lol lol lol


~*~IM APPROVED~*~



~*~HORIZON/MERCY INS APPROVAL~*~
~*~10/22/02~*~
Hello WLS friends. I'm very happy now for sure. I just came back from getting one test done (pulmonary function test. It wasn't to bad but bad enough lol. she didn't have to search with the needle. and the breathing part was easy. So this part is done.
~~**~~ EVERYONE- I AM "APPROVED"~~**~~ Boy! That was a short wait. My papers was sent in on 10/16/02 and was approved **10/22/02**. The Dr. office just called. HAPPY DANCE, HAPPY DANCE, CONGRATULATIONS TO ME, CONGRATUATIONS TO ME, YIPEEEE. LOL Alright Nadine take a chill pill and sit down. lol I'm a happy one today. Now for the next step. Oh yes, my insurance said I will need to make a appointment with a dietician. That's ok I will need this anyways. I always wondered why it wasn't included in my tests.I guess they over looked it. Things are moving along. But deep down I feel one of my test will not be done by my wls date. I hope I'm wrong. God Bless everyone and speedy recovery to those who need it. HAPPY DANCE, HAPPY DANCE YESSSSSSS




~*~THANK-YOU VICKIE~*~
<<<<>>>><<<<>>>><<<<<>>>>><<<<>
~~10/23/02~~
Hello everyone, First let me thank Vickie for sprucing up my profile. Isn't it just lovely? God Bless her. Many Hugs to you Vickie.
Well everyone today I heard from Bridgeton Hosp and Salem Hosp to remind me of my appointments tomorrow. My dietician appt is on 11/6 and upper GI which is tommorrow at Salem Hosp. Also My Mom told me two of my brothers found out about what I'm planning on doing. They are concerned about it. And disagree about it of course. One brother knows about the girl who died from WLS, she lived right here in town. I heard about it but it's not going to stop me. I'm concerned also. but this is what I want to do. I truly believe I will be alright. with God's Blessings. I CAN'T think negitive. I pray about this everyday. So I say "Let's get it on" Hey! all you obesityhelp friends God Bless you all and speedy recovery. And those who are just beginning may things go as you plan. God Bless you all.





~*~MY MANY TESTS~*~
~~10/24/02~~
Hello family, I just returned from the hosp. I got my upper GI done to my amazement. Because the last time they said I was to big and I might break the table. They even called the manufactory to get the weight limit. which they said I was to big and they sent me home with hurt feelings. But today everything was different. The tech person was very nice. first I got a chest x-ray. then the upper GI. she had me stand to see if the machine could come across me , which it didn't. But she said that's ok. We can do it another way. which we did. I drank the nasty stuff. and took the pictures needed. NOW why? WHY couldn't they do this last year. was it being lazy or just ignorant. Oh well it's done now, I pray to God all my test comes out ok. Well family good day to you. May God Bless and keep you well. HUGS**HUGS** HUGS.

**4:45pm** Hey! you all. I just got a call from my primary Dr.to verify that I have a appointment in the morning. I hung up and before I could sit back down the phone rings again, it's the same lady this time telling me there's a opening for the stress test, could I come in. Well I sure CAN. I'm so glad, This is the test I was worried about. Not being done in time. I Pray All tests come out A OK. See you later





~*~I'M DISAPPOINTED~*~
~~10/25/02~~
Good Morning family. Well I had my echo done this morning. I hope everything is ok. because I left the house stressing. lol the kids had me coming and going, before they went to school. Anyhow that test is done. But I couldn't do my last test. which was the stress test. They said I'm over 300 lbs so it can't be done .I'm to big for the table. So they made me another appointment at another hospital. (Woodbury Hospital) for 11/8/02 That's to close. I told them I have to have clearance before the 12th. they claim everything will be ready in time. Hummmmmmmm. We'll see. Remember what I said at first. That I feel this stress test is going to mess up my WLS date. We will surely see.
Oh well good people Hope everyone is doing fine. God Bless all of you in your journey. Talk to you all later. HUGSSSSSSS



I love the Lord, He heard my cry



~*~SAY A LITTLE PRAYER FOR ME AS I JOURNEY TO THE LOSING SIDE~*~



~*~THE SCARE~*~
~~11/4/02~~
Hello Family I pray everything and everyone is well. I just wanted to to tell you all that I went to see the Dr. today. And that Pulmonary test I took was alright. He said that it just said that I had asthma. Well who don't know that? dah I already knew this. It's very mild, maybe three times a year it may bother me. with breathing but that's it. anyhow I told the doc The lady who call scared the heck out of me. plus it was on a Saturday and I couldn't get there to ask what's wrong. He laughed and said sorry for scaring me. So all is well so far. This waiting is driving me crazy. next Tuesday is right around the corner. I still have my stress test to do Friday. And Wednesday I see the surgeon. and go to do my pre-op admission tests at the hospital. This do drain you.My psoriasis is acting up and I'm stressing. grrrr. I haven't even packed my bags yet. I guess I'll do that Saturday. So everyone take it easy, and hang in there. God Bless





~*~IM VERY TIRED,PRE-OP TESTS~*~
~~11/6/02~~
Hello everyone, well today sure has been a long day. I had to be at the hospital 11:30 to talk to the dietician first .then all the other test for admittance come 11/12. Everything went well. I seen the surgeon also. and was done at 4:00pm . Now all that's left is my stress test Friday and my clearance. After I left the surgeons office I went straight to my primary Dr office To let them know that they are waiting. I guess I will go there all this week to keep checking if they are getting things together. All I have to do is go to the head Dr. things will get rolling fast. lol Oh well I'm so tired all that walking etc.. I want to get in my BED lol I also have a spliting headache. My skin is hurting because of the Psoriasis. I could scream. So Good people let me say good night to you. and those of you who had WLS, speedy recovery. and those who will have it soon Best wishes and God be with you. HUGS.



~*~I HAVE SEVER PSORIASIS~*~

Psoriasis is a chronic but treatable autoimmune skin disease experienced by an estimated 5-6 million Americans and about 80 million people around the world.

While psoriasis is not typically life threatening, it can greatly affect your appearance, self-esteem and overall quality of life. It can develop anywhere on the skin, though it usually appears on the scalp, knees, elbows and torso. It also may affect the nails and joints.

Psoriasis of the skin has several common symptoms. It is often itchy and may cause painful drying, cracking or blistering of the skin. Psoriasis affecting the joints (psoriatic arthritis) can cause pain and make movement more difficult.

Red, raised areas of skin called plaques characterize plaque psoriasis, the most common form of the disease. Plaque psoriasis can range from mild to severe. Approximately 20 to 25 percent of cases are severe. Other forms of the disease include guttate psoriasis, erythrodermic psoriasis and pustular psoriasis.

Many people with psoriasis develop it in their 20s, but the disease can occur at any age, even childhood. It is equally common in men and women, and tends to run in families. Treatments for psoriasis include the use of skin creams, light therapy, and systemic therapies (pills or injections).

The exact causes of psoriasis are complex and not fully understood, but genetic traits leading to abnormalities in the body's response to infection are believed to be the underlying basis. A specialized type of white blood cell called a T cell has been identified as playing a key role in the inflammation that eventually leads to psoriasis plaques and related symptoms.

I have this skin condition that's no joke. My skin hurts so dang on bad. I could scream. I wish there was a cure, but their isn't. I need some more medicine to help control it. I guess all this stress about my wls is causing it to flare up. grrrrr. Oh well woo is me. talk to ya later**Hugs**


~*~OMG!!! MY FACE IS SWOLLEN, BIG TIMES~*~
~~11/7/02~~
Good morning Friends, Guess What? I woke up with a swollen face, my nose, and top lip. Boy was it huge. since my front tooth was kind of hurting, nothing to cry about, I thought it would go away. I was even able to sleep all night. Yes I think I have a tooth abscess. Oh my goodness no. I'm on countdown and this happens. I am taking pain pills and I have ice on it. and it went down alittle. So I'm going to nurse this thing. If it ain't one thing it's another. or When it rains it pours. lol I pray it goes away. Bye for now, good people.





~*~A DETOUR~*~
~~11/8/02~~
Good morning friends, Woke up face is still swollen. Well I don't know, what's going to happen. I'm getting a little worried about if it will happen on Tues. This morning I go for my last test,(stress test). Yesterday my surgeons office called and told me to call my primary dr, to try to get them to send in the rest of the needed test results and the medical clearance, because Monday they will be closed. so I did, I waited on the phone for almost a hour, in the mean time everybody under the sun came on but the right woman. Anyhow when she did, she was huffy and I must say I was too. lol I tried to tell her what I wanted but she wasn't hearing me. she keep tring to talk over me. until I mentioned the head dr.s name, then she more less started listening. So as of right now I am off to take my stress test and SHE said to come directly to my primary dr's office and ask for her. So we will see. I'll update you later on tonight. Talk to you later. and God Bless.
**Evening** Well I'm back what a day. well The stress test is over. then I went to my primary care dr. I asked for the nurse who said ask for her. I was waited on very quickly. but then had to sit for awhile until they called the Hospital to have them fax over the results of my stress test. On waiting I told the nurse I wish they hurry up because I haven't eaten since last night, here it was 8:00pm, She said OMG you have diabetes you have to eat something. I really was getting sick, I was trying to make it home to eat. Anyhow she asked my 16 yr old (Savannah) had she eaten. she said no also,The nurse told Savannah to follow her. They came back with a large plate of pasta with sauce and two meatballs, soda, a roll and a salad. yummy, The nurse closed the door and we ate. Believe me that hit the spot. My daughter said the other nurses were looking and I guess wondering what was going on. lol So after eating the Dr came in and told me the bad news. They see some concern in my stress test so now Monday I need to talk to a heart dr. The dr. to night said it may be just because of my weight because sometimes it isn't as clear as it sould be. so for now I have to address this and check it out. He said it needs to be looked at farther. before any surgery of that kind. And I agree. He said Tuesday is to soon to investigate before surgery. so he has to cancel my wls date. And after this is clear I can continue with this matter on another day. So good people I pray everyone do well on their journey. and speedy recovery to those who will have their wls. God Bless you all. I'll keep in touch to let you know if I can continue with this or not. I'm very thankful that these test were done. now I know what my body is doing inside. Far as I'm concerned I'm still on this journey. But right now there's a detour that I pray will lead me on the right road towards my journey again. Darn it, I forgot to ask for meds for my Psoriasis. I'll call back tomorrow, Rememeber GOD IS GOOD, ALL THE TIME.





~*~I'M BACK!!! FALSE ALARM YAY!!!~*~
~~11/14/02~~
Hello wls friends. I am BACK,lol YES, LIKE I SAID, GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME .AND ALL THE TIME GOD IS GOOD.I prayed and I prayed, I prayed all night long.(it's a song) lol Well let me tell you all what happened. But let me say this. Remember when I said my stress test was going to be the test that mess up my surgery date. Well I was right wasn't I? Anyhow I had a real scare. At first they thought I had a blockage in my heart. So I had to see a cardiologist. THE GOOD NEWS is that it was my weight vs the machine. lol the cardiologist said she will write the surgeon and approve the wls. I'm so glad and while talking to her, she likes the idea of me making this decision. So I guess I have to get in touch with my surgeon to get another wls date. Only thing I will have to redo my pre-op test over. we will see. she did give me some pills to take for to help with my blood pressure and breathing which she said is due to my weight.
So I'm thrilled to continue this journey. she also said I'm a high risk because of my weight. which I already know. So to everyone speedy recovery and may God be with you all the time. HUGS** Happy dance, Happy dance**.




~*~DR. PASUPATHY~*~

~*~I CALLED DR PASUPATHY MY SURGEON~*~
~~11/15/02~~
Hello friends, Hope everyone is happy and well. I called my surgeon today. They said they will try to put me in , in December or if I like I can have it done in January. They will call me to let me know. But first the heart dr has to send in the clearance letter, which she said she will. Also I asked if I had to take all those dreaded test again. Good news is NO. only the blood test. Oh well good people I pray everyone is ok take care. Hugs





~*~NEW DATE~*~
~~11/19/02~~
Hello everyone, I'm doing ok, I've spent my time reading alot of interesting posts on obesityhelp. I also recieved my obesityhelp book yesterday in the mail. I want to stay focused on this wls thing lol. I must say I have been having weird thoughts and nightmares lately. of what you DON'T want to happen. I try to stay positive but I can't seem to stop it from entering my mind. I guess it's because I try to put it out of my mind all day And it creeps in during my sleep. lol

I HAVE A NEW DATE- IT'S ** JANUARY 13, 2003**
I just pray this goes as plan, everything is in order the surgeons office just called. she said to call the hospital on the 12th to see what time to be there. I hope that heart dr sends in the approval letter by that time like she said she will. Oh well Hugs and kisses to you all. speedy recovery and God Bless.





~*~JUST CHILLIN~*~
~~11/21/02~~
Hi everyone, Nothing going on lately just waiting for these days to pass by faster so my WLS day will be here. Hey I guess I will get to have a Thanksgiving dinner after all. Christmas too. lol Yeah, my last. lol I should be practicing on how I am to eat after wls. lol. Oh Well everyone take care and God Bless.







~*~MY OLDEST BROTHER OPINION SUCKS~*~
~~11/23/02~~
Hello Everyone, Just doing nothing but reading more posts. Also I'm peed off. I'm at the point now that I'm going to not talk about my wls. reason why is because everyone that is against it figure you're crazy or something. I just got finished talking to my oldest brother. Well he went on and on about me doing the WRONG thing. and I need to think about my kids, and you know a girl just died in town from it. etc. Get this, he is as big as me. He said he is not going to lose weight by taking the EASY WAY OUT (WLS) he can do it by exercising and eating less. He said he wants to do it the RIGHT WAY. My question is if it is all that easy why haven't he done it before. He is so pig headed. lol He's the kind that thinks he's ALWAYS right. He went on and on with his opinion. So I made a bet with him( which he didn't take) lol I said come 1/13/03 he start his diet and I'll get my wls. and we'll see who loses faster. I told him that I still have to watch what I eat and exercise. etc. But he still thinks he's right. So I told him he lose the lbs his way and I'll lose my way. case closed. It does'nt seem like I have anyone behind me in this. My mother is with me, at first she didn't like the idea either until I educated her, now if she finds a program on Tv about it she calls me. I love her for that much. My kids know this is what I want But I think they are just scared to think farther on the matter. They said I'm alright like I am. ALLLLLLL, that's sweet. They don't want anything to happen to me. So I talked to all of them, about my health slowly failing. and if I don't try to do anything about it I will surely die. My other brothers they don't talk about it at all. Oh well I guess things will work out ok. When I had to have my gallbladder out in 1990's my kids were to young to come to the hospital. my Mom was home nursing my dying father my brothers were God knows were. My only sister was caring for her family. But came later to the hospital. I remember feeling so alone. No one to say take care. or we love you. or see you later. So early in the morning and they are rolling me into the op room. I was all alone. ALRIGHT NADINE STOP CRYING THE BLUES. LOL Let the past stay were it is. GONE. LOL Oh well let me stop airing. You all take care. Hugs to each and everyone of you. Hang in there. God Bless, SMILE



~*~IT'S GOOD OLE TURKEY TIME~*~




~~11/28/02~~
Hello family. Everyone doing ok here. I pray the same for you. I'm still on countdown. can't wait for my wls day. Anyhow I just want to give best wishes to everyone this Thanksgiving Day. God Bless and keep you well. Remember this day isn't only about EATING. Take the time and count all your blessing, Hug someone, enjoy today and love your family and friends, and YOURSELF.





~*~GOD KNOWS!~*~
~~11/30/02~~
Good afternoon family, I'm bored, lol, so I come to my favorite site. It helps me a great deal, to know this is what I want to do. I hear good stories as well as bad. I just don't look up just great stories, I must hear the horrible ones to. Sad as they may be. I need to hear them to. I have 44 more days for my wls. I have had bad thoughts about it, even had nightmares, But it has never entered my mine to not do this. I put all my trust in the Lord. and if he has other plans for me on or after that day. There's nothing I can do about it no how. So I'm going forward without hesitation. Yes ,I have great concern about this why wouldn't I, when I go to church the peacher always preach. You should pray and leave your worries to the Lord. And I do believe in this. He knows things before we do. Other words OUR BOOK IS ALREADY WRITTEN. So stop worring. GOD is GOOD. ALL THE TIME. YOU DON"T KNOW AND WILL NOT KNOW WHEN YOUR # IS CALLED. WHEN YOUR TIME IS UP, IT'S UP. So just keep living and enjoy your stay on this good earth. And stop worrying about it.Cause you sure can't stop it. Well good folks I must go now, God Bless and keep you well, speedy recovery. HUGS


WAITING_WAITING_WAITING_WAITING_WAITING






~~*YAY!! FINAL NEW DATE*~~
~~12/03/02~~
Hello everyone, Well I did hear from the dr office and my WLS will be on 12/6/02 Friday. Can you believe this? It's only three days away. Now I feel a bit antsy. lol I know one thing, I will be going into meditation with my GOD. We need to talk. lol, I'm happy things are going forward. I want to get this op over with. I have nothing ready, WHAT DO I PACK ? I guess I'm going to run around with my head cut off trying to get things in order. lol PLEASE EVERYONE PRAY FOR ME. REMEMBER GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME, AND ALL THE TIME GOD IS GOOD. God Bless all of you. and hang in there. Hugs




~*~YAY! LAST DAY BEFORE MY WLS~*~



~~12/05/02~~
Hello wls Friends, Well time is ticking fast. I called the hospital to see what time I'm to arrive, they said come 2 hours early. be there at 12:00 pm and surgery will start at 2:00pm. So I pray everything will go well, and I'll be home in no time. **PLEASE PRAY FOR ME**. I pray that God guide Dr. Pasupathy and his surgery team through my wls. and everything goes well. I'm packed and ready to go. I decided not to take to much because I've been in the hospital more than once and alot of time things stay right in the suit case. The hospital has everything you likely will need, if not my son or mom can bring what ever. My last meal was a cheese steak sandwich, and a soda. I will go to bed early tonight. and do alot of meditation and praying not just for me but others also. I won't post again until I'm home from the hospital. I will be at my Moms house for a week. then I'll return to my own home. E-mail me. I'll try to get one of my kids to reply. So everyone take care and God Bless you all. Hugs

I did my last minute shopping for myself so when I return I'll be set. and I also did food shopping for my kids so they can have food in the house. Everything is in order and Im ready for my change over. May God watch over me.




~*~MY WLS IS TODAY~*~


Before an Operation Prayer

Almighty God,
you know my inmost being,
the secrets of my body and soul.
Fill my heart with trust,
even as I fear,
and bless the surgeons and nurses
and all who work to help me
with gifts of healing and care.
Be near,
gently sustaining me,
and supporting them in their skills.
Amen.




~~12/06/02~~
My son, Ike, my dear mom and my 16 yr old daughter(Savannah) went with me to the hospital. The ride there was unnerving, it gave me time to meditate because the ride was long. I kept thinking will I return home down this same road. or is this the last time I will see this. I found myself taking in the scenery. anyhow I got there on time, Went to the front desk to tell them I'm there to have surgery. They said go to the 5th floor. So I went up to the 5th floor, then was sent back down to get some papers. The front desk knew better. Oh Boy, here we go. Off on the wrong foot already. Anyhow by then I was getting pretty much peed off. All that walking was not fun at all. Then I went back up to the 5th floor with my papers. They put me in a room across from the nurses station were I changed into a hosp gown which was a pretty sea green color, not dark blue lol and my nurse came to weigh me, this was my very first time, I never knew what my real weight was. So it was a surprise. She whispered 399lbs. I remember asking her twice, to make sure I heard right, then the nurse got my temps and vitals, next a lady came from the lab to draw blood and put in a IV. Then there was a waiting game, it wasn't to long. a guy soon came to get me. I got on the gurney and was rolled to the op room area, my family was told they could wait in the waiting room. I said see you later. NEVER SAY BYE. lol atlease not at this time. so I said, see you later. anyhow I was surprised because as soon as I said that, I was rolled into the op room and I felt real nervious. It kind of caught me off guard. I thought he was going to push me farther down the hall. instead I was right there at the op door. In entering the room I was told to scoot over on the very narrow table. I was scanning over the room, it to me was kind of small and cold. They were moving kind of fast and they were talking to each other and once in a while to me. I remember someone grabed my arms to put them in position and puting something in my IV.the next thing a mask was put over my face.I was off to LA LA LAND. Before I went under all I kept thinking about was being put to death.( Like an execution )WOW! that's a scary thought.I woke up in ICU. I had a hard time coming out of the anestehesia it was hell, there was a tube in my mouth,I was on a ventilator. and the machine was loud. also I had a tube up my nose, inside my incisions and in my wee wee. lol I guess I can say , I was wired up. lol I didn't have a pump. I wish I did. I guess the hospital don't use them. the nurse kept giving me shots every what ever hours. My daughter said when they were let in to see me. I was moaning and was making weird noises and my chest was rising up and down from the ventilator, she said it was like I couldn't breath. I faintly remember the moaning and any nurse working on me, Hey I must say this. I had a couple of male nurses while there and I have to say I like them to work on me better than a woman nurse. To me It just seemed like they were thorough in doing their job. This is just my opinion. There are also great female nurses. That also work very hard. Anyhow, At first I didn't want no male nurse to do nothing to me. But now I prefer one. Anyhow I was in and out of sleep. I guess later on they had let my family in.( I was told later the nurse forgot they were in the waitng room, and they were waiting and waiting for more hours than they should of. I guess my Mom thought there must had been some complications. She was upset, because they had said the surgery would only take 2 1/2 to 3 hrs at the most. It took longer because of adhesives also I needed 1 pint of blood. But my family wasn't informed it would by longer. my op was at 2:00 my family left the hospital that night around 11:00pm ,YES 11:00PM. Im surprised the surgeon was still in the hospital. I wonder what time my surgery was really over. They said their sorries, but I feel that this shows they(that nurse) don't pay attention. any fool would know to check the waiting room for anyone. People in there are waiting for a reason, don't they think. I feel so angry at the nurse, anyhow when she did remember she had to go find the surgeon so he could talk to the family. He reassured them that everything went well. Then the nurse let them come in the ICU, I could hear the nurse telling them things, I tryed to talk but nothing came out. I was very upset because I couldn't communicate, I felt trapped in my body. Anyhow as they were leaving I could hear them saying things to me, I'll never forget my mother and daughters faces, their eyes was watery.This was the first time I felt sorry for puting everyone through this. Anyhow, It felt like they were looking down on me as if I was dead laying in a casket. Hmmmmm I mustard up enough strengh to wave my pinky finger. The nurse told them ,OH! LOOK SHE'S SAYING BYE. Nooooo, I was saying see you later. lol lol. anyhow I was off track from that time on, things were turned around. I think it was because my op was done 2pm and it throw me off track of time. Don't remember how long I stayed in ICU, I remember this nice male nurse cleaning me up and he made me feel so much better. after he cleaned me up he made a joke about my hair, and showed me the mirror. He said my job is done I can't do nothing about that. It musta kind of struck me funny, because I sure did laugh so hard. lol. I was moved to my new room. my stay was kind of awful but not because of the hospital or nurses. It was my room mate big time. They say it also was the anestehesia and being nausea. I had major problems with my PSORIASIS, they didn't address it at all. I was miserble. The room seemed to be a little warm, but was it me or not, so I really don't know what was going on. I read some other peoples profile who went to same hospital and one of their complaints was the hospital being to hot. Anyhow I was moved to my new room that day. Hmmmmm or was it the next day or next day. I really don't know I was confussed lol. So I'll say when I did go to my room I was the only one in it. I wanted to be moved next to the window and I asked but they wouldn't do it. so I just let it go. Next time I'm going to demand it. WHOSE PAYING FOR THIS ANYHOW? Yeah my ins. Anyways sometime after getting in this room, they come for me to get my x-ray to make sure there are no leaks. Thank God there wasn't. Drinking that nasty stuff wasn't to bad this time. Being asked to move in different positions was. My stay there was 11 long days which I'll never will forget. He was going to let me out on my 4th day. I had even told my son to come the next day, because the dr said I might can go home. It's funny how things change fast. After the kids left from visiting me. I all of a sudden didn't feel well. And that was the beginning of a extended stay. Don't you know after I got home I recieved a letter telling me. that there was a disagreement in payment for those extra days I spent. They assured me, It won't come out of my pocket. So I didn't have to worry about payment. It's between hospital, dr. and insurance. SO WHY TELL ME. I have enough to worry about. You all can keep that mess over there. Leave me alone. (giggling) Besides if you did send me a bill. It will only become part of my huge collection. lol. It's a very interesting collection, I must say. lol Anyhow My ride home was awful I felt every bump and hole in the road. It was very nice to come back down the road. and the scenery was still beautiful.Thank God I get to see it on my return home. Oh well good people talk to you later. speedy recovery and God Bless










~~12/28/02~~
Hello everyone, I really have missed you all. I really missed talking and getting info about anything and everything. Christmas was not the Christmas I've ever known. because of me not being able to do to much. But thank God my church did much more than they should of, THANKS, HOPEWELL BAPTIST CHURCH specially Rev. Corsey, sister Corsey, sister Bell, and sister Todd. GOD BLESS YOU ALL. You help keep my house afloat, during my absents. I'm very grateful that they did help me like they did. Because of them my family did have a nice christmas after all. Thank you God. I did go to Wal-Mart to try to shop. Well it was awful. they didn't have a electric scooter. only had a VERY SMALL wheelchair. It was a nightmare. people stirring at me. They said reason they didn't have a electric chair was because they needed to be fixed all the time. I say even if they did, why would you have small wheelchairs when your customers comes in all sizes. why not just buy larger wheelchairs. any ways. It was so tight. I was widged so tightly it hurt. so I cut my shopping short. Thank God my son was pushing me, cause I surely wouldn't had gotten so far. But the next day I surely suffered, boy did I hurt. I just did nothing but rode it out. Also I want to THANK MY DEAR MOM for cooking my Christmas Dinner. I couldn't eat nothing but the kids enjoyed it and the smells going all though the house was so great. Just like Christmas at moms house. lol lol.





~*~1ST VISIT AFTER WLS~*~

When I was at the hospital, I weighed in at 399.(but he insist it was 400lbs) I am not 450. Like the Dr thought. Guess his guess was wrong big time. hehehe. My first office visit was 12/ 19/02 and it was 382 lbs. 17lbs loss YAY!, I'm so happy. He took out the tube with the bulb on it. I think it may of been to soon. because I'm just leaking every where. I will constantly have to buy guaze, now I guess. He kept the other tube in. DARN I was hoping he would remove it. I wanted it out. It feels like I'm tied up. And I don't go back until 1/16/03 Darn, D, D, D, that's to long. For the hoildays he's going to visit his family in India.



~*~BRIDGETON NJ HOSPITAL~*~
**Oh well! about my surgery**. My stay was from 12/6/02 to 12/16th. Operation went well but a little longer. because of adhesives from other operations in the past. I was to come out in the reg time. (I stayed for 11 days.) because I kept getting nauseated and the doc wanted to make sure I could keep things down. I couldn't walk in the hospital. because I was tied down with tubes. and because of the catheter, I stayed in bed or sat up in a chair. By the way, the bed was horrible. I had a awful time laying still in bed cuz my skin hurt so darn bad. I need the nurses to put some cream on me. I told my son to bring me some creams and I got my daughter to rub some on me. After they took the catheter out I walked only about four times. I know I should of did more.They kept the boot on my legs though. Not once did a nurse tell me I should get my butt up and walk. It took my Dr to convince me to do so. I also was hooked up to the heart monitor, which I had BIG TIME PROBLEMS WITH. those sticky things kept coming off, and the tech who monitored it, I think got kind of peed off with me. OH WELL! I also had to get breathing treatments, and had to keep the oxygen mask on, which I didn't do. My doctor is known to be overly cautious. Which is kool with me. also I had a problem with SMELLS. It is weird. I smelled everything, very easy. Now let me tell you about my room mate. I had a lady in her 60's, nice lady. ( not there for wls) but for some reason she keep eating and having her family bring her FOOD. Which she wasn't suppose to have. anyhow meantime my Doctor says Nadine try NOT to get nauseated and I can go home. well everything was ok until she ate her snacks. popcorn which smell like FEET, or SOCKS. Or sitting old fruit. She even had a hoggie. Boy! she could eat. She ate what the hospital gave plus her own foods. The room was HOT, HOT, HOT.Grrrrrr I was miserable, I couldn't sleep at all because of the nightmares. Well, this day both of us had fallen asleep and both more less woke up about the same time. I was a little upset things was getting on my nerves big time. It seems I was about to explode,( They said the meds was making me feel like this, I hope so because it's not me, to complain or be a pain in the butt. It was hot in the room, I tossed and turned and pulled my gown off my shoulders. and the heart monitor person kept coming back and forth because the wires they had stuck on me kept coming off. and I didn't care, at this point. MY SKIN HURT.!!! The whole hospital stay was HELL. I always dreaded the mornings, because I felt helpless that I couldn't wash myself. The nurses aids would come in, and fix up your wash basin, and expect you to wash your vital areas. All I really could do was my face and arms. Grrrrrrr anyhow they would sit the basin on my table and leave. Well I mentioned this to another nurse, and OH BOY! did I open up a can of worms or what. All I said was that I'll be glad to get home so I can get a shower. The last good wash down was when I was in ICU. That's how I found out that they weren't Nurses but were nurses aids. When a nurse did give me a sponge bath they got very up set. because my incision pad was soaked and had started turning a tint of green. yikes.. and under my apron was just lets say nasty, stinky etc, I felt misable and ashame. Anyhow the nurse was upset and say if the doctor had seen this it would of been hell. and someone would of been in trouble. OK, OK back to my room mate. Everything was ok until she did the ultimate thing that I couldn't take, and it was when she took the top off her potty. Everything came together. The heat, the stink, the meds, the pain, the nightmares, the smells, the tech man,the needles etc. the woman had the nerve to say and giggle at the same time, "Maybe I shouldn't had done that". maybe I should of called the nurses to dump it. I could feel the volcano within me. she asked me to call the nurse for her because I was closer to my call button. So I did. I truly could feel the eruption forming inside me. When the nurse came, by then I was crying,BIG FAT TEARS I had lost it. The volcano had erupted. I couldn't keep it in no longer.I started crying and crying and crying.I cried because my doc had told me to work on not getting nauseated. then I could go home. Well, how can you do it in a room filled with smells of God knows what.
Smells that can make you feel big time nauseated, being hot, being very uncomfortable,It felt like I couldn't breathe. anyways to make along story short. They had me take a walk to calm me down and then they let me sit in the Chapel were it was nice and cool. I sit there for a 1/2 hr. Then I went back to my room which was across the hall. BOY! OH BOY! As soon as I walked into the room, I could feel that feeling coming back. I got upset again, the room was terrible. My room mate had the nerve to ask me. You sure you ain't going through menapause I told her NOOOOOOO. (I just was checked for that a couple of months before.) Anyhow they asked me if I wanted to change my room. I said no I'll deal with it. I kept appologizing for how I was acting. Believe me, I don't act like that. I can get along with anyone. and if I do happen to get upset with someone I don't stay upset that long. I was always told I have a pleasent personality. I am a happy person most of the time. and try to make a bad thing good when ever I have too. ANYHOW, this nurse convinced me to change rooms. she told me I need to change to a better room. She said because I'm getting upset, my vitals will show it. Then my DR will keep me longer in the hospital. So I was moved across the hall. A little old lady laid in her bed. she was so frill. and she had to have her room at a certain temp. Boy, was it like I like it. COOL, I got settled down and slept most of the night. The fan they gave me in the other room , stayed off. I did'nt need it. I felt way better and probably could of came home much earlier if I had a room like this in the first place. So in the morning I got up and cleaned myself up and sipped on juice. Also I know one thing they need to watch patients food trays there were things I wasn't suppose to drink nor eat. One day they didn't bring me nothing. so I ate nothing. I wasn't hungry no how. I know that's not the point. Even the nurses didn't even pick up on it. Hmmmmmm Anyways I waited for DR. Pasupathy to come in, to see if this is the day I can go home, He promised me all the other days, NOW I WANT OUT. lol When he did come I again appologized for how I was acting the night before. I FELT LIKE A HEEL. He reassured me it was the meds and the anesthesia withdraw. WHATTTT? Whoa! I thought I had loss my mine LOL. Anyhow he only came in to say he will release me around 4:00 and he left. I think he had surgery to do. anyways That's all I needed to hear. I started packing and got in my street clothes. They unhooked my IV but left the needle part in my arm. until they knew for sure, I guess. One nurse came in kind of ticked off. She should be darn glad it wasn't the night before. cause no telling what I would of said to her. LOL. Just because I was packed and ready she made some kind of smart comment. Don't mess with me when Im in PAIN. Im not the same person that came in this hospital. LOL, anyhow I asked about calling my son. because I wanted to let him know to come to the hospital in case I'm released. It's about 40 miles, I wanted him to come now because it made since to start out now instead of 4:00. I'm glad I did because the dr came back to release me 2 hrs earlier. It felt wonderful to leave, I was very weak. The drive home was awful, I felt every lump and bump. When I did get home, I was so sorry I hadn't walked in the hospital. because I tell you. from the parking lot to my front door it seems like it was a mile in between. lol I tell you I couldn't get to the door fast enough, it seemed like I was walking in slow motion.lol. When we pulled up to my surprise the kids had hung the Christmas lights and decorations up. Just like I always did each year. GREAT JOB!!! and when I stepped into the house. They had a real christmas tree up and decorated, OH!! the smell of pine. I tell you I got all watery eyed. They really made my day. and they kept the christmas spirit going while I was away. I'M VERY PROUD OF THEM. The house stayed clean so I was happy about that. I slept at home this night. I think I went up and down those steps 50 times lol I was uncomfortable. I tryed to sleep on the sofa, then I went upstairs to try to sleep on the hospital bed that was delivered while I was in the hospital. Then down again to try the sofa once more. I finally slept up stairs. The next day I went to my Moms for a week. She helped me big time, I was able to take a shower for the first time, it felt so good. she had one of those benches that sits in the tub. I washed myself. But when I had to put meds on under my apron. Mom said she see why I wanted to have the surgery. she didn't realize I was that big. because the clothes hides your shape. moreless. she really helped me out. I'm home now. Only problems I'm having is I have no idea what to eat. drink. Yes, they gave me a package. and when I left the hospital I was eating cream a wheat, or soups etc. I think I'm eating things to soon. also I'm in discomfort because of the stitches and tube which was left in. not the one with the bulb.either it's called the NG tube or the JP tube.I forget what's it's called. I leak also from it. it's a mess. And SLEEP is another whole story. lol I did get the Dr. to write out a prescription for a hospital bed. They delivered it while I was still in the hospital. At first it was uncomforble but now I can sleep all night on my back, lol HEY!!!!!!! Does it sound like I'm complaining Hmmmmmm . Well I'm sorry I have to, I have to air. That's the only way I can get this behind me and go to the next step. lol The 16th of January they suppose to come out. But my main problem now is what to eat. sometimes I feel weak and I have black circles around my eyes. HELP!!!!. OH well, friends I'll say until next time. I love you all. God be with you. Loves and Hugs



~*~PSORIASIS~*~
I have a job ahead of me to doctor my incisions, cause anywhere I've been cut will develope new Psoriasis, I'm aware of this and just have to deal with it.




~*~1st MONTH ANNIVERSARY~*~

<<<<>>>><<<<>>>><<<<>>>><<<<>>>><<<<>


~*~YEAH IM COMPLAINING~*~

~~1/7/03~~
Hello friends, Just want to say Hi, I haven't been doing anything but hurting. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? I STILL HAVE TUBE IN AND STAPLES I have a home care nurse coming to the house, 3 times a week. for as long as I needs her. This is taking so long. Darn it. My wls was 12/6/02 and today is 1/7/03. My next appt is 1/16/03. when I went to my first appt on 12/16/02 he took out the tube with the bulb on it. but didn't touch the rest. So I've been suffering with getting around with these things, and it's awful. I'm still sleeping on my back. And I'm a side or stomach person. So my rest at night is awful. My Dr went out of the country for the Hoilday, but has a stand in. To me it appears my holes are trying to heal around the tubes. one drain has stop leaking. but the other has not. I do want to get these out so I can move around better. and get some exercise in. right now I'm not doing nothing. Oh well! everyone take care. GOD IS GOOD. Remember that. Today I just wanted to air. lol Now there I feel better** Hugs**
~*~TUBES~TUBES~TUBES~*~
N/G tube is a Nasogastric tube that is put down your nose to your stomach. It can be used as a feeding tube or to give you medicine or to pump unwanted fluids out of your stomach. That is why it is used sometimes during gastric bypass surgery. A G-Tube, is a Gastronomy tube. It is placed in your stomach thru a tiny opening on the outside of your stomach and is used as a feeding tube or to give you medicine in the event you are unable to eat or take anything by mouth. It is sometimes placed during gastric bypass as a precaution in case something goes wrong. A J-tube is a Jackson-Pratt tube and is your drain tube.



Hear my prayer,
O God give ear to the words of my mouth
Psalms 54:2





~*~MY DARN TUBE IS FINALLY OUT~*~


~~1/16/03~~
Hello Everyone, What a day I had. I FINALLY went to the drs. to get my tube and staples out. Yes, my wls was 12/06/02. and today is 1/16/03. I don't really know why it took so long. only that he went a way for the hoilday. Man it was awful. it was like it was attached to me, he had to cut piece by piece, and he tugged and tugged. YES IT HURT. He even made a comment about it staying in to long. I didn't know weather to get peed off or what. He was the one running this ship. he knew he was going away. I think something should of been set up for it to be taking out by his assistant or something. Grrrrr Grrrrr. BUT I'm happy, finally it's out. I can move better and now I can walk. Oh Yes! EVERYONE, MY STARTING WEIGHT WAS 399. AND TODAY. DRUM ROLL PLEASE.. 356lbs HAPPY DANCE YESSSSS. Can you believe this? At first in the beginning was for the DOGSSSS, but as days passed by I got better and I still am weak in body. Anyways I'm happy now. I pray everyone have a Blessed wls journey. and smile, it do get better. Hugs



~*~CHATTING~*~

~~1/30/03~~
Hello friends, I feel much better these days. Those first weeks was H???. lol I can move around now. I'm a little upset because today I went to doctors and only loss 4 lbs. two weeks ago I was doing a happy dance. Because I was down from 399 to 356 that was great.and today two weeks later I've only loss 4lbs. what a kick in the butt. Well atlease I can say I didn't GAINED lol. I think the reason I'm not losing like before is that I don't vomit like before and can eat almost anything without getting sick. So I will change alot of things, what I'm eating and get some kind of exercise in. Well everyone hope everything goes well with everyone hang in there and God Bless.


~*~2nd MONTH ANNIVERSARY~*~




~*~WOE IS ME, WOE IS ME~*~
2/11/03


Hello friends. Hope everyone is doing great on their wls journey. Because for me, I feel this wls is'nt going to work. Ever since I stopped getting sick and vomiting. Now that I eat I find myself wishing to throw up. But everytime it stays right there. darn it. WHAT IN THE WORLD AM I'M DOING SO DARN WRONG ???????. I've started walking to the mail box. which just isn't outside the door. I feel my legs straining on my return back to the house. I also do very lite house work and now instead of sending the kids to get something I try do get up and do it myself, Today I went out to the store, there are two stores somewhat next to each other. anyhow coming from one store instead of getting into the car to go to the other store, GUESS WHAT? I walked. Believe you me before I would of jumped into the car so fast it would of made your head spin. lol lol So I am slowly trying to change my exercise habit. Since the weather here isn't so good. IT'S SO COLD It snowed two days ago, and now they say maybe again this weekend. I'm kind of getting sick of the snow. I seen a Robin red breast(a bird) today. A sign of spring. Yes. Anyways I have to do some kind of exercise. My town does have a YMCA it is so close to my apt. Walking distance. like down the street. But right now I haven't the $$$$ So maybe later I will be able to join. and like they say WALKING IS CHEAP. lol Also about my eating. I almost give up trying to figure this thing out. I get so frustrated with trying to learn dos and don'ts. I have come to the point where I'm scared to eat anything, then when I do I feel guilty and get depressed about doing everything wrong. I really don't eat that much now. when I do feel my pouch getting full I do STOP. I just don't like the fact. That I CAN EAT and DRINK ALMOST ANYTHING without getting sick. Sugar doesn't bother me. I want to do this right, It's just today I feel I'm not losing no more weight. I go to the Drs. on 2/27/03 and I'm scared. that I will lose only 3 lbs.It's a nightmare, I swear I'll cry like a baby. Oh well good people I have to go, I need to wipe away my tears. lol You all take care, You Hear. Thanks for lending me your ears. lol Hugs





~*~DO MORE EXERCISES~*~


~~2/12/03~~
Helloooooooo, Everybody. Well I went to my primary Dr today and got some meds dropped or changed. Even dropped my insulin, yes no more needles. But what I want to really tell everyone is, I FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A VERY LONGGGG TIME, STEPPED UP ON THE SCALE, GUESS WHAT. I COULD WEIGH IN I haven't weighed on it for years, Yeah, I just made it, but I did it. lol It's on now. lol and also like I mentioned before about exercising. I talked about it with my Dr. He said he might can get me into a program at the hospital (gym) for those who have heart problems. Cardiac rehab is what he called it. He gave me a prescription slip to take to hospital. No I don't think I have heart problems but then again I don't know either. Remember before wls they thought there was something on my stress test and it cancelled my first wls date. Than I was cleared to have the surgery because they thought it was something to do with the machine. and said that she really can't say if there is a blockage because of my weight she can't tell. and that I'm to big to put that cath line though my vane in my leg. Anyhow she gave me pills to help breakup any blockage that may be there. So base on that maybe it is and maybe it ain't, is my ticket to the hospitals gym. I would love that. Because this weight sure is taking it's own time falling off lol. When I go back to the surgeon I what to had loss 10 lbs. Oh well friends talk to you later. Hang in there. Remember GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME & ALL THE TIME GOD IS GOOD. Hugs everyone



~*~MY WEIGHT LOSS PROGRESS~*~




12/06/02- Start wt 400lbs
12/12/02 1st visit- 382 lbs
1/16/03-------------356 lbs
1/30/03--------------352 lbs

2/26/03-----350 lbs Plateau
3/21/03--------------337 lbs
3/27/03--------------327 lbs
4/21/03--------------315 lbs
4/24/03--------------313 lbs
5/14/03--------------304 lbs
6/09/03--------------298 lbs
6/26/03--------------293 lbs
7/5/03---------------289 lbs
7/19/03--------------285 lbs
7/24/03--------------275 lbs
8/14/03--------------267 lbs
8/26/03--------------263 lbs
9th month-PLATEAU FROM HELL"WOW"
10/8/03--------------261 lbs
10/15/03-------------256 lbs
10/22/03-------------253 lbs
11/10/03-------------248 lbs
11/21/03-------------243 lbs
11/25/03-------------239 lbs
12/6/03--------------235 lbs
~*~1st yr ANNIVERSARY LOSS 165 lbs~*~
1/7/04--------------230 lbs
1/20/04-------------224 lbs
2/7/04--------------215 lbs
2/24/04-------------210 lbs



~*~YOUR BMI~*~
Range <> Meaning

less than 18.5 <> Underweight
18.5 - 24.9 <> Normal
25.0 - 29.9 <> Overweight
30.0 - 34.9 <> Obese
35.0 - 39.9 <> Severely Obese
40.0 - 50 <> Morbidly Obese
over 50 <> Super Obese

Table 1. Healthy Weight Range for Men and Women
Height
Without shoes Weight Range
Without clothes
4 Feet 10 inches 91-119 pounds
4 Feet 11 inches 94-124 pounds
5 Feet 97-128 pounds
5 Feet 1 inch 100-132 pounds
5 Feet 2 inches 104-136 pounds
5 Feet 3 inches 107-141 pounds
5 Feet 4 inches 110-145 pounds
5 Feet 5 inches 114-150 pounds
5 Feet 6 inches 118-155 pounds
5 Feet 7 inches 121-159 pounds
5 Feet 8 inches 125-164 pounds
5 Feet 9 inches 128-169 pounds
5 Feet 10 inches 132-174 pounds
5 Feet 11 inches 136-179 pounds
6 Feet 140-184 pounds
6 Feet 1 inch 144-189 pounds
6 Feet 2 inches 148-194 pounds
6 Feet 3 inches 152-200 pounds
6 Feet 4 inches 156-205 pounds

Source: Report of the Dietary Guidelines Advisor

~*~IT'S SNOWING BIG TIMES~*~



~~2/16/03~~
Hi everyone, IT'S SNOWING, IT'S SNOWING. Suppose to get 20 inches. Right now it's a white out. Nothing is moving. Food is in the house. The house is warm. Kids are home picking with each other, what a day this is going to be. lol So I guess everything is well. I will be right here most of the day on the computer lol. I do pray that those that don't have the proper shelter, they do find one. I pray everyone will be bless with what ever they need. God Bless everyone. Hugs



~*~MY FEET IS SWOLLEN~*~


~~2/22/03~~
Hello everyone, I just dropped in to say Hi. and to say That I will be tossing my new scale out the window, I tell you it's crazy. lol really nuts. I get on it and it gets stuck on 240lbs then I get off and back on then it might say 280lbs, I really don't feel like playing games with my scale each day. I know for a fact I am somewhere like 348lbs, Anyways I got sick of the guessing game and ordered a new scale call Big foot which goes up to 400lbs. and I found it for only $39.99 at drugstore.com so I'm very happy about that. the other one can go to my kids. Oh yes, also I went to the dr.s to see about why my feet is swollen. He thinks it's the new pills I started taking, but to be sure they have to wait for my blood test to come back. He wouldn't even give me water pills. I have to wait until next week. Meantime I will prop my feet up. Next week I go to my primary dr again for the swollen feet, and the next day go to my wl surgeon and I will let him know about my feet and ankles being swollen. this swelling probably add weight to me also. Like I needed that. This weight loss stuff is driving me nuts. I wish I lose faster I want to really tell the difference. lol I mean really. I want people to notice. Right now no one is saying nothing at all. Something I do that's fun is I put on my favorite pair of slacks. they use to be tight. What I do is wear them in the house and I enjoy the feel of them falling off me. lol I'll be sagging all day long.lol This keeps me focus and reminds me I have lose weight. Oh well talk to you all later. God Bless you all, and hang in there. Hugs



~*~1/2 CENTURY CLUB-2/26/03~*~


~*~UPS DELIVERED MY SCALE~*~


~~2/26/03~~
Hello friends, I go to my wl surgeon tomorrow. I will go by his scale. Because this crazy scale here at home is nuts. lol Im begining to think My Dr made my pouch the size of a ostrich egg instead of a chicken egg. lol lol because I sure think I can eat more than they say. KNOCK KNOCK ,whose there ? the UPS man. Guess what? my scale just came. lol It goes up to 400lbs and was just $39.99 plus shipping. Oh well friends have a great day and hang in there. GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME. Hugs( OH YEAH, IT'S SNOWING AGAIN TODAY & tomorrow into Friday. I wish spring come on. lol)










~*~A DREADED PLATEAU~*~
I went to my surgeon yesterday. I lost a shameful 2lbs. I couldn't wake up fast enough this morning. I call the YMCA to ask info on membership. come Monday I will be there. She said they will give me a visitors pass, and take me on a tour. It's $225.00 a year or $18.00 a each month, they take it out your bank acct, At sign up you pay $48.75 signup one time fee. And you will get your ID in the mail. They even have a personal trainer. So I will be joining come Monday. I can't believe this 2 lbs, how awful, Yes I held my head down REAL LOW. lol It's surely can't be because of what I'm eating. I get my proteins in , my water, My blood work came back OK, My Dr said to exercise more. so I think this is the problem because I don't do much of it. I told him I have a skin condition and it's very painful. But I will do my best. Oh well you take care and hang in there. Remember GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME, & ALL THE TIME GOD IS GOOD. Hugs





EXERCISE*EXERCISE*EXERCISE*EXERCISE*EXERCISE







~*~I JOINED THE YMCA~*~

~~3/03/03~~

Hello Family, This morning I got up and did what I said I would. I joined the YMCA. It's pretty nice in there. CLEAN. It wasn't many people in there. I like that, I have to remember the time I went in. So I can do my exercises then, without a lot of people around. I tryed a treadmill, My daughter put it on the lowest speed. lol she was teasing me. I told her that's alright I'll get better. lol also for a personal trainer I'm told it would be like three dollors each time I see him. That's not bad at all. Well I'll talk to you all later, I'm going over my moms for awhile. Take Care. Hugs

**ANYONE NOTICE THE DATE** 03/03/03


~*~A GIFT~*~

~~3/4/03~~



~*~3rd MONTH ANNIVERSARY~*~



~*~IM OFF 12 OF MY MEDS~*~

~~3/7/03~~
Hello All, Best wishes to everyone pre-op and post-op. I just want to say I'm doing ok. For a few days now I've been doing lite housecleaning. and it's funny but I kind of like it. I first drink my 16oz of water. (I drink 16 0z of water 4 times a day =ing 64 oz. I eat my breakfast later, because I'm not a early morning eater.) Then I do downstairs first then upstairs. and guess what? I have the energy. but have to cool it cuz my psoriasis is on my feet and hands. My one daughter is tickled pink. she is amazed I can do it all. because she was the one who I called to do the cleaning all the time. The others was always lazy and gave me lip about doing anything. And they always wondered why this daughter(Savannah) got money faster or get more freedom. Not to say she's my favorite, because I have none. they are all equal in my heart. Anyhow I'm doing all the house work these days. and I feel great. I chalk this up as a exercise also and time flys. Everyday I pick something in the house that needs cleaning. I need to do my closets. so I guess that will be next. This morning I notice I have pain in my apron. I hope it's just a sprain, everytime I move I hurt. Maybe I over did it. And I sould slow down.
You know what I got on my hometown newspaper forum and asked did anyone have a treadmill to sell. This was done weeks ago. she said she had a nordic track that was collecting dust. and she will sell it for $50.00 dollars. I made a deal to pay her $20.00 more if she can deliver it to my appt. she agreed. So now I have two on the way. I guess I'll keep both, one up stairs and one down stairs. lol Ain't we something lol

Oh yes, I forgot to tell you that I no longer take 14 pills each day. I was taking this before the wls. and also I am OFF my insulin no more needles. I now take 2 kinds of pills, for high blood pressure and my sugar. Low dosage. I still check my sugar to keep a record. and make sure everything is ok, And so far it's very good. To bad my skin will always be like this. I hate psoriasis. It hurts. Oh well family let me go. Best wishes again and God Bless. Hugs




~*~NEWS FLASH PLATEAU HAS BEEN BROKEN~*~

~~3/8/03~~
Hello Family, I am so HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY finally the plateau has been broken. I was begaining to think the wls failed. my scale shows I've lost 10 lbs. yesssss. Finally.




~*~ON THE ROAD AGAIN, I'M SO GLAD I'M ON THE ROAD AGAIN~*~

~~3/9/03~~
lol I'm singing lol.
Hey! I'm waiting for this lady and her husband to deliver my nordic track in a hour. I gave them directions on how to get here. I told them to call me when they get in town. and I'll direct them in. $50.00 is not bad for a nordic track. If I don't like it the kids can have it. Savannah my 16 yr old runs track, so she will most likely use it. Oh well good people must do some house work, (just picking up things because all week I cleaned.) lol You all take care. God Bless those in pre-op trying to get on the losing side. And Best wishes to all who are having wls, speedy recovery to you and may you have NO complications what so ever. Those of you who are weeks into post- op, God Bless, Hugs




**NORDIC TRACK HAS ARRIVED**

They did deliver it with no problem, They showed me how to work it. And then they were out of here. I thought at first it was going to be a treadmill, when I looked in the back of the pick up it was a nordic track like skiing, I'm ok with that. I still can exercise on it. Because it was used. I cleaned it up real good. Even I'm amazed on how good it looks. My mom always said water and soap can do wonders. Plus wax. I say, lol. I really did a good job. If the lady seen it now she probably would of sold it for more. lol Now since I'm done admiring it, question is when am I going to get on it. hehehe. Talk to you all later.





**I'M TRYING**

~~3/10/03~~
Hello Everyone, I'am lol, Well I tried the nordic track, boy oh! boy, it is hard. Last night I got on and off real fast. lol
But this morning I did it again and stayed on it longer, yes. So it's getting better. lol It takes some getting use to.


~*~IM SO HAPPY I HAD WLS~*~


**GOOD BYE FAT!! HELLO BONES!!! LOL**


~~3/21/03~~
Hello pre-ops and post-ops. Best wishes on your wl journey. Well today I went to Drs. GOOD NEWS as of today I've lost 62lbs in three months, YESSSSSS. So exercising do makes a difference. hehehe. I go to my surgeon next thur. this time I can hold my head up high. and not come out tripping on my face, because of 2lbs. SHAMEFUL lol, See ya



~*~GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME & ALL THE TIME GOD IS GOOD~*~





**GOING BACK TO CHURCH**

~~3/23/03~~
Hello family, I went to church this morning, I was glad to be back. Everyone welcomed me back, and gave me compliments on how well I look. I thanked them, and just smiled. hmmmm could it be they are trying to tell me I loss weight. [giggling] know one has seen me since December 2002 just my pastor and family and 2 others. I couldn't take the smile off my face. All they think they know is I had a gallbadder op. So as I continue to loss, they are in for a surprise. (giggling) Anyways, I'm still exercising, I must say, it do get easier, I still only do what I can but I do it. I want this weight off me so bad.I walked from the YMCA on 3/24th. My daughter had a pagent meeting, I told my son to come back to pick us up, wouldn't you know it. they let out very early. I could of asked a friend or called the house. But I wanted to see if I could do it. I DID. and It wasn't to bad. I walked about 1/2 of a 1/2 of a mile. giggling.lol WELL to me it was a lot. I'm getting better. and guess what? my mom finally said she see's a difference in me. I had to ask her, well when was she going to tell me, next year. we laughted about it. lol I love her, that's my mommy. I can't wait until one of my aunts see me. Right now she doesn't know about my surgery. She always had something to say about my weight. she is good for saying quick little insults, I just pray I loss enough to weigh less then her. Boy that will be great. Everytime I go around her I will have a great big smile plastered all over my face. (giggling) ALLLLLL that's not nice. lol Oh well. (giggling) Take care.




**I DID BREAK THAT PLATEAU, YES!**

~~3/27/03~~
Hello family, Yes once again I have a smile on my face, That I can't seem to get rid of. I went to my surgeon today. and weighed in. DRUM ROLL PLEASE, I CAN HEAR THE TAP TAP TAPPING OF THE DRUMS. (giggling) I loss a total of 72lbs in 3 months time. Since last month dr visit, I've loss 23lbs. Better than that 2lbs loss like the month before. (giggling) The doc also told me to start wearing my binder again, To try to prevent a hernia. So Yes I am wearing it. I listen to my Doctor, I'm not going to be hard headed. I'm getting there. I'll be glad when I'm in the 200's. lol Well friends hang in there and those who are just starting, I pray you get through the stages well. and those who are post-op I pray you are doing well. And remember everyday is a blessing. Hugs




LORD HELP ME
~~4/1/03~~

Hello family, I pray everyone is ok. I feel literally sick to my stomach. Not something to do with my health. I put my car in the shop this morning. to get it straight to get a sticker for inspection. it was only 4 things it failed for. two of them was miner. Anyways They wasn't suppose to fix it. They just put it on a machine. it suppose to give a read out. and that alone cost $85.00. Well the man said it will cost $2000.00 dollars just to fix it for a inspection sticker. $2000.00 dollars were in the name of God would I get that kind of money. I'm just so sick. my car is a 91 Thunderbird and it hasn't let me down ever. The motor is still good. It runs ok to me. I pray in some way I can get something to drive. I'm on SSI and barely can make it. Right now, I'm just sick. I will take this to the Lord. I was always told to take your worries to the lord and leave them there. Please family pray for me. I need trans to get back and forth to my drs. Oh what a mess this will be. I'm so sorry I was airing. but this hurts. Oh well family you take care, and focus and hang in there. Talk to you all later. Hugs


~*~4th MONTH ANNIVERSARY~*~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why Drink Water?

Without water you could exist no more than a few days. That is why water is considered the most important nutrient to our body. Our bodies are made up of approximately 60-65 percent water. Muscle is made up of 70 percent water, while fat is only 22 percent. Water is responsible for transporting needed nutrients to the body's cells and transporting the waste out. This is why water is so important to us.

When a person does not drink enough water daily his or her body will tend to save it. We call this water weight. It occurs when the body stores more water than is necessary. There are other reasons some people are prone to water weight. For some it may be a diet high in sodium or starchy carbohydrates. For women it may fluctuate throughout the menstrual cycle.

How much water do we need daily? Some professionals say 64 ounces, while others say � ounce per pound of body weight. Since no two people are alike I recommend drinking � ounce of water per pound of body weight considering you have no medical ailments. For example, some people with heart problems are unable to drink that much fluid or a dangerous amount of fluid buildup could occur. If you are one of these people consult with your physician for advice.

Your daily water intake could also vary depending on your physical activity level. The more active you are the more water your body will need.

You can get water from a variety of sources like fruits, fruit juice, tea, soft drinks, and some foods; however the more water you drink in plain form the better.

Since most city water contains chlorine and other unwanted contaminants I recommend drinking bottled water.

NOTE: Even though soft drinks contain water keep in mind that most also contain caffeine which actually dehydrates the body. In fact, any drink that contains caffeine will act as a diuretic.

Water and Fat Loss

The levels of oxygen in the bloodstream are greater when the body is well hydrated. The more oxygen the body has readily available the more fat it will burn for energy. Without the presence of oxygen the body cannot utilize stored fat for energy efficiently. Not only will the body burn more fat when well hydrated but because the increased oxygen levels you will also have more energy.

Drink water, it will do your body good!



Food
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~*~PROTEINS~*~
Grams of Protein
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
6 oz. canned tuna = 40 g
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
4 oz. chicken breast = 35 g
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3 oz. beef* = 26 g
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3 oz. turkey = 25 g
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3 oz. salmon =23 g
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
8 oz. (1 cup) garbanzo beans = 15 g
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
8 oz. (1 cup) milk =8 g
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
8 oz. (1 cup) yogurt = 10 g
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
4 oz. (1/2 cup) tofu = 10 g
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
4 oz. (1/2 c) cottage cheese = 14 g

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1 egg = 6 g
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1 oz. cheddar cheese = 87 g
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
8 oz.(1 cup) pasta = 5 g
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*A 3 ounce serving of beef (or chicken) is about the size of a deck of cards.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


**JUST CHILLIN**

4/17/03
Hello there, AMOS family, Hope everyone is hanging in there, weather you are a beginner, a loser or at your goal. Well, I'm not doing nothing but trying to do the right thing on my wl journey. I haven't weighed myself since last month. I've up my exercise and water intake. also I'm eating only high protein foods, and try to atlease get in 60-100 proteins a day. For some reason I feel like I am losing but in inches only. I want the FAT to go. LOL I'll let you know next week. cause I have a primary and surgeon appointments to go to, I sure hope I've lost something. I really don't get it. What did I do last month, that I'm not doing this month? I've uped everything, so what's the problem. Oh well, I'll just keep doing the right things and I guess when I loss I'll loss. I'm walking further these days. I get out there 7am and walk I love taking in the fresh air and listening to the birds chirpping. At first I was slow and out of breath. Now I'm faster and feel I can walk further,I haven't yet but will soon. I also am doing exercise in the house, with the nordic track I try to keep moving. Oh well friends I guess I'll talk to you later. Remember Everyday is a Blessing. Count them and you will see. Take care. ~~hugs~~





God Bless you all of my AMOS family. ~*~Jesus died for our sins~*~




~~84 POUNDS LOSS YAY!!!~~
4/21/03
Hello Good people, I must say I feel very HAPPY today. I was kind of worried last week. I got on my scale and it didn't want to move. so I changed my eating again to just high protein meats, 64oz or more water, and walking and other exercises I could do in the house. and It worked. I loss 22 lbs since my last primary dr office visit. I'm now 315 lbs from 399 lbs= 84lbs loss total. YIPPEEEE I go to the surgeon Thurs. I hope my primary dr scale was right. hehehe. Im not sure but it should be like 12 lbs since I've been there last. Oh well! everyone just always remember everyday is a blessing. Don't worry be happy, have faith and hang in there. Love and hugs.





~~86lbs LOSS @ Dr. Pasupathy's~~
4/24/03
Hello family, I don't have to come back to the surgeons office until June. I hope to have a great wt loss by then. Hope everyone is doing great hang in there and stay focused. hugs



ON THE MOVE
4/30/03
Hi there AMOS family, I feel great today. I walked longer distance this morning, and could of went further because I seen I really wasn't tired, didn't feel exhausted at all. I'm real happy about that. There is one thing that bugs me, and it's that as I walk ,I walk with my head down, which is a no no. but when I do hold it up it seems like I walk off balanced and I look like a big fat drunk lady trying to get home. lol It really do feel like that. also when I go pass this certain house, I go into fits of sneezing. It has a strong smell of cats. I've been to peoples homes with cats but I don't sneeze. and I do like cats. but this house is awful. so before I get to the house I cross the street and Im ok. Let me tell you. Walking is fun. I thought I'd never get use to it. Now it's a must. If I miss a day because of rain. it hurts so bad. I have walked when it drizzles. I'm very happy I had wls, It feels like I'm living again. I pray all who seeks this operation gets it without any hesitations or denials from the stupid insurance companys. Hang in there and remember every day is a blessing. Talk to you later. Hugs



~*~ YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF YOUR WEIGHT~*~

~*~CHOOSE FOODS WISELY; SPACE IS LIMITED~*~

~*~ RENEW YOUR COMMITTMENT EVERY DAY!~*~

YIPEEE! I WALKED A MILE

~~5/2/03~~

Hello AMOS friends, I'm so happy today. reason why is because. I pushing on It just doesn't sound real. ME!! I remember I couldn't even walk 20 steps without getting out of breath. I really did walk to day. I did my daily walk in the morning plus walked at the mall. I came home and hung curtains in dining rm, kitchen and bath room.( giggling were in the world is all the energy coming from.) lol I feel Great. I tell you. If you don't own a Pedometer, please get one. A Pedometer is a instrument for recording the numbers of steps taken and thus measuring the distance traveled. just hook it to your waistband on your pants and forget about it, until you want to read it. Oh well friends, I pray you all are hanging in there, God Bless each and everyone of you. Take care, and hugs



~*~5TH MONTH ANNIVERSARY~*~

~*~May I sure this month will be a good one. "Let's get it on"


I DON'T WANT TO GO

5/6th
Hello AMOS friends, I hope everyone is hanging in there, I am doing alright, just a little peed about trying to reach the 100 lb loss mark. I want to get into the 2's so bad. I have like 14 lbs to loss, and believe me it seems like it's the hardest to do. I'm impatient when it comes to losing wt. lol Oh Well! Also, Today a invitation came from the Administration of my daughters high school, inviting her family to the annual Honor Roll Recognition Dinner on May 29th. @ the Washington Club here in town. The purpose of the dinner is to acknowledge academic excellence among those members of the student body who have achieved honor roll status during each of the first three marking periods of the current school year, and the top ten students of the graduating class.Tickets are $10.00 each for everyone but the student. I want to go but I'm concerned about the dinner. This club serves spagetti and 2 meatballs, rolls/ butter,a salad/dressing,a drink,tea or soda,and cake for dessert. I don't dump that easily. I know there's no way I want spagetti and the other foods, but I don't want to waste it either, I will eat the meatballs. so I don't know what to do. My plan is to maybe ask for a carry out container. I can't drink with my dinner. and the bread is really good. I haven't eaten bread since my wls. I just know this is going to be temptation, I might give in. I remember it before wls. Yummmmmm. I have the mind to send my mom in my place. I have not decided yet. People at the table are going to wonder why I'm not eating. This is a very large table. and anyone can sit with you. Im very proud of my daughter. and guess what? my youngest daughter also have a dinner invitation in June. For the same thing. she goes to another school .Also the one in high sch. has another dinner for sports awards. at the same Washington Club in June.I don't want to go to dinners. Oh well, I'll think of something. Hugs everyone.



~*~GOD IS GOOD~*~


For all the negative things we have to say to ourselves, God has a positive
answer for it.

You say, "It's impossible".
God says! : "All thing are possible". (Luke 18:27)

You say, "I'm too tired."
God says: "I will give you rest". (Matt 11:28-20)



You say, "Nobody really loves me".
God says: "I love you". (John 3:16 - John 13:34)

You say, "I can't go on."
God says: "My grace is sufficient." (II Cor. 12:9)
Psalm 91:15)

You say, "I can't figure things out."
God says: "I will direct your steps." (Proverbs 3:5-6)

You say, "I can't do it."
God says: "You can do all things in Me." (Phil 4:13)

You say, "It's not worth it."
God says: "It will be worth it." (Romans 8:28)

You say, "I can't forgive myself."
God says: "I forgive you." (I John 1:9 - Romans 8:1)

You say, "I can't manage."
God says: "I will supply all your needs." (Phil 4:19)

You say,! "I'm afraid."
God says: "I have not given you a spirit of fear."
(II Tim. 1:7)

You say, "I'm always worried and frustrated".
God says: "Cast all your cares on ME (I Peter 5:7)

You say, "I don't have enough faith."
God says: "I've given everyone a measure of faith."
(Romans 12:3)

You say, "I'm not smart enough."
God says: "I give you wisdom." (I Cor. 1:30)

You say, "I feel all alone."
God says: "I will never leave you or forsake you."
(Heb. 13:5)

Pass this on, you never know whose life may be in need of this today.







~*~MOM~*~
YOU ARE MY SUNSHINE MY ONLY SUNSHINE, YOU MAKE ME HAPPY WHEN I AM BLUE, YOU'll NEVER KNOW HOW, HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU, PLEASE DON'T TAKE MY SUNSHINE AWAY. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MOM, THANKS FOR STANDING BESIDE ME DURING MY WLS JOURNEY, ~*~HUGS~*~








~*~HAPPY MOTHERS DAY~*~
5/11/03,Today is Mothers Day, and I have just returned from my daily walking. I have been thinking about how blessed and thankful I am. I have my mother still living, also my grandmother who is still living. PRAISE THE LORD.I know they both have stories to tell. I have been meditating about myself also this day. I have recovered from 3 major operations plus WLS.One at age 13 which could of took me away from here. It was touch and go for a while. I reflected on how my life has been, yes the ups and downs which we all have.I haven't been thinking so much as were Im at in life, more so about being blessed with my 4 children. Im so sorry I wasn't more able to give to them being a single parent after my divorce, but we were happy and together and it wasn't so bad as it could of been. Im thankful for having my oldest daughter here today. cause at 2 months of age she had cancer,They said it was one of the worse kinds kids can get. Praise God on high. She survived and she is here today among us and have never taken meds, she did loss one kidney, appendix, and had her liver shaved cause it had started there. Thank God for not being ready for her. HAPPY MOTHERS DAY.**Hugs**


~*~6TH MONTH ANNIVERSARY~*~

~*~Im so happy Im nearing the century mark. I hope I loss alot this month. we will see.~*~









~*~102 LBS LOSS-A CENTURY CLUB MEMBER~*~



~*~I HAVE JOINED THE CENTURY CLUB~*~

~~6/1/03~~
Hi everyone, I have been just chillin. LOL as the kids say. LOL, Im to old to be talking like that. LOL anyhow. I don't have much to tell. I have been doing great on my wl journey. I definitely has seen change in alot of diffent ways. I am walking further without falling up in the house from exhaustion. Im also attracting MEN. It feels great. but it's a little scary. I haven't had a relationship since my last child was born. My few past relationships were failures and I just gave up and just lived my life with taking care my kids and myself. forget those fools. LOL anyhow now the new me is almost ready to live again. but when I don't know.LOL I want to get to know me first. Don't want to open up a new relationship to get to know a guy when I don't even know myself. so I'll just chill until Im ready.Plus having a skin condition will keep me from seeking. People are noticing now, and they are asking me what Im doing to loss wt. I want to lie but when I am face to face it's hard for me to do it. I kept the secret until now. But Im not going to sweat about it. Im proud about my loss. and Im not ashame about having wls. Hey! I went to my kids school dinners they had for honors and the sports award dinners, I was at first scared to go because I didn't know how I would handle the eating part. I must say I handled it well. what I didn't eat, I asked for a container and bought the remaining food home and one of my kids ate it for their dinner. Since all they served is salad, spagetti and 2 meatballs, rolls/ butter and ice cream/ choc syrup. I am guilty, I ate that whole thing.( talking about my roll.)Yummmm. LOL also I ate my 2 meatballs they were hugh. At the first dinner I couldn't eat both of the meatballs, but this time I could. I was watching the scale after these dinners and to my surprise I loss wt about 4 lbs YAY!. I was worried there for a while. Well this month I have alot of events to go to. so I will be busy. I hate it when there's eating involved. what I do is skip my lunch or dinner and just wait to eat at the event. Also for the last few weeks I did have a ulcer and was in great pain. Boy! did it hurt. I tryed to ride it out, but it kicked my butt, I went to my primary doctors, and now Im taking a pill called Nexium, and it has worked so far. other than that. evevything is all good. Hey! I added new pics at the bottom of my profile. Hope you all enjoy them. I will be adding new ones each month. It should be interesting as time goes on. Guess what? I took a show box and wrapped it in pretty wrapping paper. and made a hole big enough to slip money through it. I put a note on it saying PLEASE HELP ME SAVE FOR A SHOPPING SPREE. WILL OPEN ON MY 1ST YEAR ANNIVERSARY DAY 12/6/03. so far so good. everyone who comes in put money in. But I think I will open it next year 12/6/4 instead cause I know I will not be were I want to be in my wt by then. I can't wait for the day I can go shopping. Boy! am I going to have fun. I just love my journey. It's so exciting. Oh well friends I told you I had nothing really to update. Oh! one more thing I've loss 102lbs YAY! YAY! HAPPY DANCING. GET IT NAE! GO GIRL. YAY! LOL You all take care and hang in there and stay focused.~*~Hugs~*~






~*~DR. PASUPATHY SAVED MY LIFE~*~THANK YOU SO MUCH~*~







~*~PACKING WHEN WALKING~*~
6/11/03



I was just thinking about my daily walking. I tell ya! I am packing, When I leave the house I have all I need for protection. I carry my GOD, my mace, I have my headphones (turned down real low, so I can hear things), my cellphone, one hand balled up and ready. and the other have a metal pole in it. LOL, just kiddin. LOL, I had a big stick, but that can break. this pole sure won't. LOL. I start out everyday at 6am. and I walk and walk. I just love it. this early in the morning. You can smell the flowers, I just love to smell the honeysuckles each time I pass the bush. Im temped to take one of the flowers and suck the tip, suck it like we use to do as a kid. You know something, I think I will. tomorrow morning, LOL, heck whose out that early to see me. LOL I also love the fresh morning air and the coolness in the morning air. and to see the squirrels playing around. my stick and mace is for them too, if they start acting funny as if they are RABBIT and foaming at the jaws. Look out! LOL There's no way I'll be able to run skip or hop. Haven't got that far yet. I only walk. LOL, After all I am still FAT. Im just full of jokes ain't I. LOL But the most joyful time of my walk is when I walk down by the Delaware river. The smell of the water and the breeze that comes off the water, is so nice. I also like seeing the large ships passing by. I wish I could just sit and watch the ships go by. but I continue to walk. Im planning on walking 2 times a day. once in the morning and again at night. WHEN I will start this I don't know. anyhow everything is good. and going well. Im so happy I finally crossed over into the 2's. It was crazy at first. I would get so close like 2 more lbs to be in the 200's then the next time I would check I would be 5 lbs away. Grrrrrrr. LOL. so I upped everything. and it worked. YAY! Oh yes! I think Im going to cancel my membership at the YMCA. cause I enjoy the open air, morning walking. and I am losing. Plus I can't afford it at this time. maybe I will join again some other time. Oh well friends, Best wishes to all. Need to talk e-mail me. Don't know everything but it's nice to chat.Hey! don't forget to stroll down to the bottom of my profile to see my pics. ~*~Hugs~*~




~*~I GOT A CAR~*~


~~6/14/03~~
Yipee, Hi AMOS, Glad to come here this evening and share my good news with you, what I've been blessed with. as you know my other car has seen it's days.but it's not down and out yet. it's still running. it just needs work on it. so I decided to keep it and my son will just work on it until it gets all fixed to pass inspection. NJ inspections are real tough. I think they don't want any old cars on their highways. ANYWAYS I was given a used car. a Chevy Capris which I never dealt with before. Im a Ford person, hehehe. It's clean and runs great. a bit more powerful then my other car, I think my son said it has a 350 V8 in it. The way things were getting with transportation. I was afraid I would be missing some dr appointments. Im just thankful for this blessing. Like I said GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME. AND ALL THE TIME GOD IS GOOD. I didn't know how I was going to get a car at all. and here I am tell you I have a car. Thank you Lord! Who says prayer is powerful.~*~Hugs~*~



~*~WE NEED DETERMINATION~*~

6/15/03
~*~HAPPY MOTHER/FATHERS DAY~*~

GOOD MORNING EVERYONE, Don't mean to wake you up so early on this nice Sunday morning, BUT I have to SHOUT THIS OUT. WOW!!! I just returned from walking the track. and I for the first time WALKED farther! My daughter runs track and her coach told me 4 times around is a mile. WOW!!! This was my first time at the track and I wanted to see how far I could go. and plus I walked home which was equal to a lap. Talking about someone tired, and walking home I looked like I spent all night drinking.My poor feet is so sore. Psoriasis is on the bottom of them. If I had stopped for anything. I think someone would of had to come get me. LOL But I made it on in. I felt good when I did reach the door. I thought I would sit down once I got in the house, but I didn't, I went on and got my shower to get ready for church. Thanks to obesityhelp magazine. Pg 8. (Walking as a Primary Form of Exercise.) After reading this I felt I wasn't doing enough with walking just a mile. I surprised myself this morning. It's really on now! I can't believe 6 months ago I couldn't even walk to the driveway without breathing hard and my heart pounding against my chest. THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! I see a new me a merging. I would do a happy dance, but Im exhausted, LOL I'll do it later. OH YEAH!!! HAPPY FATHERS DAY, To all the fathers and to all the mothers who are like me, Im a father and a mother to my kids. ~*~Hugs~*~



~*~CHANAE'S 8th GRADE GRADUATIONS~*~


~~6/19/03~~
Hi everyone tonight is my baby girls 8th grade graduation.Im so happy for her. She is in the honors club and the other night she recieved alot of awards plus a plaque. Yes! Im so proud of her. I pray she will continue doing good through high school. Well Im back home. The graduations was very nice.I just felt awful, cuz of the heat. and having Psoriasis, anyhow She recieved a reward also. We came home and had a small get together with more people then I expected. I didn't expect to have that many family and friends over. But all was good. I just ran out of paper plates and had to use real ones. That means dishes. Grrrrrrrr. But everything went well.I got her a cellphone. and she got cash. a nice outfit, shoes. spongebob doll. ballons.And she thinks she's having this again next month, because it's her birthday. Yeah right! Oh well. talk to you later. Oh! I ate 3 small meatballs with cheese, yogart



~*~KIDS FIRST DAY HOME~*~
6/20/03


Hello everyone, The kids are sleeping in this morning. Plus it's raining, They are programed to get up for school at a certain time. this morning I seen them turn over and hit the pillow without waking up. LOL God Bless them. Anyways I just came back from walking the track, Im still amazed, It's strange that I can even do this now. I tell ya! all of this is fun, I am always surprised and happy when I do something new. I just can't wait until the day comes where I can say Im 160lbs and wearing smaller clothes than I ever could. I tell Ya! I can see a problem starting. Im going to be out of control for awhile. with clothes shopping shoes etc. yeah right. I forgot I'm still poor. LOL



My appointment/ Dr. Pasupathy


~6/26/03~~
I went to my surgeons today. I weighed in at 293 lbs. YAY!! I come back in August 26, I hope to be about 270 something. I will aim for it. Also the Dr Pasupathy asked me if I would like to be in his web site. he said he is starting a website for the hospital for his bariatric patients. He asked me if I would be in the site, He has a photographer that will do the after pics.They already have a before pic. But first he said he wants me to loss alittle more wt. this is something to look forward to. This is getting exciting. YEAHHH! I just love my journey. Yipee. Everyone take care. And Best of Luck to ya.





~*~HAPPY 4TH OF JULY~*~

~~7/4/03~~


I hope everyone have a great time this holiday weekend. Remember to stay focused. YEAH!! stay focused on that BBQ spareribs. OMG Im going to blow it today. I already have in my mind, that I will get some spareribs. Yummmmm. I will fight the food monster this weekend. I will not pig out. My weakness is ribs, and crabs. I will let you know after the weekend how I did. I just hope I don't gain any wt. Of well, we will see. My aunt will be there also THE ONE WHO ALWAYS MAKES IT A POINT TO MENTION MY WEIGHT AROUND PEOPLE. I JUST CAN"T WAIT TO SEE HER FACE WHEN SHE SEES ME. LAST I SAW HER WAS LAST YEAR. SHE DON'T KNOW ABOUT ME HAVING WLS. AND IM NOT TELLING HER. I WILL SURLY LET YOU KNOW. Oh well everyone enjoy yourself and try to stay focused. see ya. ~*~Hugs~*~




~*~I MESSED UP BIG TIME


~~7/5/03~~
Hello my AMOS family,Yesterday was awful.My day started off with doing my walk, then I got cleaned up and dressed and decides I wanted to go to wal-mart. I got some new pants, a white tee shirt and a visor. boy did I need some new clothes. my other ones has gotten way to baggy. now you can see my shape better. I also brought another pedometer. I like to know exactly how much I have walked. We returned home to get the food I made to take over to moms. So off we went to the BBQ. I didn't eat nothing this morning but 1 hotdog/ no bread for breakfast. so I could eat more at the BBQ. so I figured everything was good. WRONG!!! Before I started I told myself, Okay Nadine stay focus, I made myself a platter, it was of high protein meats, a spoonful of tuna salad, a spoonful of potato salad. a spoonful of string beans. Everything was good until I sipped my daughters SODA, I knew better. But thought just a sip wouldn't hurt. WRONG!!! as soon as it went down I felt blotted and miserble. 1/2 hour later it got worse and I had full blown pain. grrrrrrrrr. I tell ya! it felt just like labor pain. I felt like I was having a baby big time. those pains felt like I had a rock in my belly. and it was the rolling kind of pain, that would hit you and make you cry out in pain. Boy! Oh Boy it was like H***. my niece (she's a nurse) kept asking me was I alright, cause I didn't look right. she asked did I want to go to the hospital. Boy! I felt like it, But I knew there wasn't anything they could do. I just had to wait it out. I left moms early to go home to get into bed. But first I stopped at the drugstore to get some gas-x and some Tums, I went home and got into the bed and talk about moaning and hollering in pain. I thought the pain was leaving but it seemed to get worse. so I remembered I had some pain pills that I had from the dentist a while back. and I took that. I finally fell to sleep and didn't wake up all night. To my surprise the pain was gone. Yipeeeeee! and I got up and ready to do my 2 mile walk for today, Im back happy and ready to continue my journey. I have surly learned my lesson. I think what happened was I either ate to fast, or the soda did it. or I ate to much. Today I will eat light foods only. and give my stomach a rest. Oh yes! guess what? I have loss 4 more lbs making me 289lbs, YAYYYYY! Im a happy one today. YAYYYYY! LOL anyhow until next time Talk to ya later. ~*~Hugs~*~


~*~7th MONTH ANNIVERSARY~*~

7/18/03


ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER WAY


Hello all my AMOS friends, Im still pushing on, nothing really to talk about, Im walking each day. It is totally amazing. I love walking, it feels like you are getting close to nature. atlease that's how I feel. Yesterday I went food shopping and was ordering some cold cuts. my son was standing by me. mind you he's a big boy. anyhow I heard this lady speak to him, she called him Ikey his nickname not by his real name so that got my attention. so I looked at her to see who it was. Boyyyyyyy! she liked of woke the dead. she hollered NADINEEEEEE. She kept saying girl what happened to you, I think she said this atlease 4 times, I just smile, and played like I didn't know what she was talking about. LOL she said she didn't even notice me standing by him. she asked a thousand questions even helped me pick out my yogurt, I went on to tell her about my wls. she was so overjoyed for me even the peoples ears growed bigger. all my business was out there. but I do not care at times. I felt very proud. I have no problem with talking about my wls, but I do only tell certain ones. Not all do I tell, cause some people always will be negitive about it. no matter what. I tell ya! If someone even look like telling me I took the easy way out. I swear I'll BACK SLAP THEM AND DROP KICK THEM ALL AT THE SAME TIME. LOL that's funny, I think Im looking at to much wrestling on tv. LOL any how how dare someone even think this, Im out early ever morning sweating my butt off. rain or shine. If I can't do my exercise outside I do it inside. and plus getting gutted like a hog sure isn't easy. I really don't understand were they're coming from. they say we have help. because our stomach was made small. I say well yes, we have a tool to work with. So what... They have a Tool also when they go get help by buying diet pills, treadmills, bikes etc etc. I really think people needs to just shut up and chill out. Yeah! they needs to stop before I drop kick them LOL LOL. Forgive me. that's so funny. oh well good folks, I must go. talk to ya later, Remember GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME~*~And ALL THE TIME GOD IS GOOD take care~*~*Hugs~*~




OMG!!!A SCARY TIME AT THE TRACK


~~7/20/03~~
Hello friends, Well let me tell ya what happen at the track,I wish I could wear shorts, but I have psoriasis. grrrrr. Yesterday I went to the track, and as usually there were the same people out there, well after everyone left it was only 3 of us. Me and another lady was finish so we were talking, while we were standing there at the fence, we noticed this strange looking man coming through the entrance. we both spoke to him out of manners but right away I realized it was a big mistake,he was saying something but I couldn't understand him. I tella he was weird, he was talking to his self and walking slow carrying a bag. as he walked he kept slowing down and turning around stirring and shouting something at us, I told the lady something isn't right with this guy. she finally left. So I decided to wait for the one lady left on the track. There was no way I would leave her alone knowing that it may be danger lurking. so as she came around I told her something wasn't right with this guy. but I guess she decided to do another lap. as she started around it. before I knew it. the guy start hollering at her demanding her to do something, couldn't make it out. I saw her turn completly around and headed back towards me. he was still shouting something to her like he was getting madder and madder. When she got to me she had fear on her face and she never missed a step, we both were headed out of there. she went her way towards her home and I went my way towards mine. she said she never saw this guy before in her life. as I was rushing to get away, my mind was racing thinking all kinds of crazy what ifs. I heard him still shouting something to her, she was saying something back through the fence, as she kept fast walking to get away. I looked back and was so glad he didn't come out from the fence. I tell ya, It was a very scary situation. You never know what some nut will do to you. As I was trying to get away I was walking as fast as my fat legs would carry me. I was very upset about my weight once again. I wanted to RUN, RUN, RUN but I couldn't cause even after losing 114 lbs Im still fat. and there's still alot of things I can't do. It was awful not being able to RUN. I felt helpless, even though I had my cellphone, my mase, a stick, But I still felt in harms way. That's were I wish I had a gun just in case the nut was cracked, Im so sorry Im calling him that, but he has scared the heck out of me, that Im scared to go to the track again, especially so early. It feels like my freedom was taken away. Im worried and Im scared to go back now. but I guess I will have to do this. maybe It was his first and last time in coming. But as I've said It's not the same now. so I guess I will have to change my routin alttle. Please everyone always stay on your toes when your out there, carry a phone , mase, what ever to protect yourself. walk, run in safe areas, around people, or homes. My little town is safe to live in but you never know where trouble is. I don't believe in guns but I think if there were ever a life or death situation I would surly use it for protection. But I don't own one so what do I do hmmmmmmmm. Oh well all my AMOS family your sister has finished venting now. LOL and now I feel better but still scared. LOL take care, love ya.~*~Hugs~*~



************************************************


BACK AT THE TRACK-7/21/03


I went back to the track this morning, scared to death. LOL but that guy didn't come back. I was nervous. but ok, as other women started to come. I don't know were he popped up from. anyhow I walked and felt good afterwards. Oh well friends nothing new to report. my wt is still creeping along. Im just happy Im on the right side of the scale now. LOL I just love it. I can't believe I have loss 125 lbs now I hope by my anniversary I have loss 170 or more lbs by then, we will see. Oh well good folks check ya later Pizza out, Hey! get it, OH never mine. LOL take care ~*~Hugs~*~




~*~A PRAYER~*~
Faithful and loving God, you have so richly blessed me with
salvation by your grace. Please strengthen me out of the riches of
that grace. I am sometimes weak and falter in my faithfulness. I
know your grace is lavish, but I don't want to presume on it or
abuse it. Please give me strength and courage to live faithfully
and passionately for you until the day I see you face to face and
share with you in your glory and victory. In Jesus' name I pray.

Amen.




~*~8TH MONTH ANNIVERSARY~*~




~*~8/6/03~*~
Hello all AMOS friends, Just poping in to say Im on another PLATEAU. Grrrrrrr. I am trying to lose another 10 lbs by my next Dr. appointment. I hope I get there. I must say I have not been to focused lately. But believe me I will survive. I will do this. I will win. Oh well everyone God Bless you all and hang in there. Hugs**

8/10/03, Hello amos, Nothing to really report today. I went to my primary doctor to get some refills plus my referral to my surgeons visit come 8/28th of this month. I sure hope I can loss somemore weight by that time. anyways things are boring again. I need to do some changing things. My bithday is on the 14th. don't know what the kids have planned for me. I asked for a exercise bike, so we will see. also my grandmom is still sick. but they removed her from the hospital and put her into the nursing home. Im afraid she isn't going to recover from her operation cause of her age. so far she hasn't been able to walk. or sometimes even talk. she is 90 years old and a very strong woman. until this operation came along. But I will not worry about it. cause God knows all that's going to happen and we don't have no say in the matter, we all one day have to go down that same road. there's a beginning and a end. Oh well folks please pray for her and me and my family. and I will surly pray for you. take care my amo family.Hang in there and always stay focused and POSITIVE. ~*~Love and Hugs~*~





~*~AUGUST 14th- HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME~*~
Happy Birthday to me, May the good Lord Bless me, May he add more years to me, May he guide and keep me, Happy birtday to meeeeeeee!! ~*~HAPPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME~*~


Today is a wonderful day, Im a year older grrrrr. Oh well we all have to go through. This morning my kids surprised me with a exercise bike. I have been on it all day. and I just love it. this will diffently help me loss wt. Thank God for letting me come this far. I am truly blessed. Also on this wonderful day. LOL my scale gave me a very nice surprise, It showed I had loss 7 lbs. YAY!! Happy Dance,LOL To all my AMOS family no matter where you are on your journey, best wishes to you on getting through from beginning to the end. may God guide you and bless you in each and every step you take. Hang in there **Hugs**



8/15/03
I tell ya, I am truly blessed, I just want to say THANK YOU once again to all my AMOS family. All of you surly made my day yesterday by sending me well wishes and Happy Birthday wishes, All your kind words really made me feel very special on my birthday. and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. **Hugs**


8/26/03
~*~MY TRIP TO THE DOCTORS~*~
Hello family, I had a appointment to see my surgeon @ 10:50 am today. I was very anxious to get there to see what my weight was. and DRUM ROLL PLEASE, I have loss 30 lbs since my last visit 2 months ago. and my weight now is 263. Yesssssss! Im so happy all the hard work paid off. now starting tomorrow I must start it up again full force.I sure hope I can do it just as easy this time. My goal is to loss or get so close to losing 200 lbs by my anniversary date of 12/6/03. Im trying my hardest to get there. I know it sounds so unrealistic. but I have to try. if I don't it's okay. I will not be upset about it. I just want to challege myself to do so. things are going great. Hey! my sweet surgeon told me today that I was doing great. and to not worry about my hanging stomach. he told me that after I loss the weight that it will be the next step in coming off. oh well before I close I would like everyone to please pray for my grandmom. she isn't recovering to well from her operation. (NOT WLS)she had a stomach op because she was bound up. our family didn't want her to have the op but the doctor said she needed it or eles she would starve to death. she did well during the op. but recovery getting back on her feet isn't happening. she's now bed ridden and needs 24hr care. she is 90 yrs old and before op she was doing great for that age. and she did alot of things and never stayed still. but now she isn't like she was before the op and it hurts to see her like this. But I know God holds the answer to what's to come. for her and me and all of us. so I will continue to pray and to leave it in his hands. Everyone take care, and those who are in the beginning stages hang in there and think positive, those who have crossed over, also hang in there and think positive there are better days for all of us. ~*~Hugs~*~



9/3/03


Good morning friends, I tell ya, it's a wonderful day today. IT'S THE FIRST DAY BACK TO SCHOOL. YAY!! The house is mine all mind. I can think and meditate in peace. Im going to try to clean the house until it's clean. I already did my walking so now Im getting ready to clean starting down stairs first. so let me get off of here. Talk to ya later.
Grrrr Well it's now 5:00 pm and everyone is home. Im grrrrrr. My loving kids came in flung their book bag in the middle of the floor. and guess what I later found pencil sharping chippings on the carpet. grrrrrrr. water was left out on the counter. soda can and chips on the coffee table. went in their bedrooms they changed out of their school clothes and there they set on their beds. grrrrrr. I tell ya come this week end they will be house cleaning and I don't want to hear a word. They are to big to be messy and they will learn this lesson. anyhow talk to ya later.**hugs**




9TH ANNIVERSARY
9/6/02
Hello all my beautiful AMOS friends, Im still here. just trying to stay focused and keeping on track. my weight loss is slow, it's not hardly moving. grrrrrr! I joined the protein train for all of this month. Im not worried about losing, I know I will, when ever this plateau decides to go about it's business. anyhow all's cool here. I packed up my old clothes this weekend, cause my kids was complaining that I need to stop wearing them, cause they were to baggy. I finally looked in the mirror. oh my God! I looked awful, couldn't see my new size at all. so I went through all my rags and packed them up. I can't believe how big they look now. WOW!! Im very proud of myself. Im loving the attention and the looks and comments Im getting. Before no one said nothing at all. didn't even get a flirt. all I got was snikers and whispers. Grrrrrr. Hey! it's on now. Anyhow I walk and do my thing on my exercise bike. You know what's bothering me now. It's my apron. I hate the sight of it. I want it off my body NOW. I know I have more weight to get off, but I hate this growth. it hurts my back more and more. My built is that Im top heavy and have smaller legs. My whole family is built like this Dads side. anyhow I pray that when the time comes for my TT and what ever eles that needs cut off. That I can get my breast reduced, I would want it reduced to 34 A. Yeah, I know. But you don't understand I hate breast, I always did. I've been heavy chested since I start developing. couldn't run without them slapping me in the face. LOL, Yes if I could get them smaller I would. and then their's my bat wings. OMG! they look like big turkey necks. I can fold them up and tape them up. WOW! all this hanging skin is awful but beautiful. It shows that I've come a long way. Just long as it's gone when the time comes. Oh well talk to you next time, take care~*~Hugs~*~







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I'M ON A PLATEAU FROM HELL--HELP!
9/14/03
Hello everyone. Yes, Im a little depressed about not losing. I have no idea what's going on. Im doing the same as always. Im not eating sweets, pasta, blah, blah, blah. I even went and bought another scale thinking maybe the old one was broken. well D, D, D, I tell ya. at least the old one had me weighing less. this new one has me weighing nine lbs more. GRRRRRRRR. I can't stand this madness. I tell ya when Im losing I feel like Im on cloud nine. But when Im on a plateau I feel like HELL. I don't usually get upset. Im a happy person. I had a some what good child hood. Moma and Daddy was there for me. I always smile and try to help others, I do my best to give love. SOOOOOOO WHAT'S UPPPPPP!Why MEEEEEEEE. What have I done to get this curse. MY WORLD IS CRUMBLING AROUND ME. WOO WOO WOO. LOL, AM I CRACKING UP OR WHAT? LOL, Don't worry friends Im OKAY. I just felt like freaking out alittle. anyways. The last two months I lost 30 lbs without really trying. I just did the same routine exercise. now everything has stopped in it's tracks. For the last two days it's rained so I've been inside doing my exercise bike. but I feel it's not the same. anyhow if it's good tomorrow I will be out there. I have spent this time refocusing. I will change my program alittle and see if this will start things agoing again. also I must admit I haven't been drinking my water as much. well let me say it like this. I drink it everyday but not the whole 64 oz like I was doing before. but starting tomorrow I will be doing this also. so until then good folks take care and God Bless, remember we all will come to a block in our journey just hang in there and continue to fight this battle and not to give up. no one said it would be easy. WELL ONLY THE NUTS WHO DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HECK THEIR TALKING ABOUT. Take care ~*~Hugs~*~





9/17/03-To my AMOS family who will be affected by Isabel. PLEASE BE SAFE. Don't take this storm lightly.Where I live it's not suppose to come this way until around 1:00 pm. I walk to the Delaware River every morning and this morning I can see choppy waters. tomorrow morning I will go there to check it out.It was a gray brown color, a ugly look. I just recieved a letter from the apartment office saying that the fire dept will not be pumping water because there will not be anywhere to pump it. also it said where to evacuate to in case of rising waters. So I guess I'll start getting things together in case we have to go. It floods out here even when it's a small storm. so I guess it's a sure thing tomorrow. grrrrrrrrr. I pray we don't have to much damage. They say schools will close tomorrow and Friday. gather up your valuables, your meds, foods that you will need. do what needs to be done. YOU CAN NOT BEAT MOTHER NATURE OR GOD. So do what ever you need to and use command sence. PLEASE.I have a tv. and only have 3 more payments on it. I will be moving it up stairs. But I know it's still not as important as our life is. take care of yourself. and take precautions. I'll talk to y'all tomorrow if I get any new news. God Bless y'all. Take care**Hugs**

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Im so sorry for those who had there surgeries planned for tomorrow and have to have them cancelled because of mother nature.(Hurricane Isabel) Don't worry to much about it. Im sure you will still be able to get it done on another day, after all it wasn't anything that you did wrong. It's for safety wise. and yes I know what it feels like to be cancelled at the last minute. I've been there done that,not cause of a hurricane, but cancelled is cancelled it doesn't make you feel any better. So hang in there good people. **Hugs** Take care.









~*~HAPPY BIRTHDAY KEITH, I MISS YOU~*~
9/29/03
Today is a very special Day for me. I got up early to call my mom to tell her to get herself and my little niece ready to go to the graveyard. Today is my brothers birthday he would of been 46 years old today. We gathered up our tools because I knew the grass and weeds had invaded the stone. So we took our tools plus some weed killer spray. we cleaned off 3 other graves. my dear fathers, a uncles and a good friend I meant years ago. she was very nice to me during my dark days with my marriage being on the rocks. we got away from each other after I return home from Linglestown Pa. she lived in Harrisburg. Her husband and my husband were friends.plus worked together. both were truck drivers. anyhow we both became friends. years passed then one day while doing my grocery shopping, I noticed this lady running towards me with open arms and she was calling my name. it was her all the way in New Jersey at the same store I was shopping in. we talked and couldn't stop hugging. The last words I heard her say that day was that she had finally left her husband and his controling abusive ways and had a apartment and that one of her daughters had a appartment right next door also. she invited me and my son over. of course I promised I would. she also said that she was taking a trip down south to visit her son who is in the service. she was looking forward to the trip. cause they hadn't seen each other for a long while. But on that trip she had a massive heart attack. I don't even know if she got to see her son or not. I sure hope she did. anyhow the reason Im telling all this is because she is near my brothers plot and Lord behold I read the stone that's above , and it's her. Beth my friend. I was very happy to see that's where her family put her. she will always be in my heart and memories. Thanks for listening I just had to tell ya how today was. It was great. Hey! my plateau is still kicking my butt. so Im still trying everything under the book to break this thing, grrrrrr. Oh well talk to ya later ~*~Hugs~*~






LOOKING INTO PLASTIC SURGERY
10/2/03
I have been doing a little research on TT, arm lifts, and breast reduction, I'm leaning towards Dr. David Watts, he has a office in Vineland NJ and also Mannington NJ I have been watching him for years on his TV programs he have on cable. and have always liked him not knowing that one day I would ever need his help. so he's my first choice. www.drdavidwatts.com I will be checking him out.

click here

HAPPY 10TH ANNIVERSARY TO ME


~*~GOD CALLED MY DEAR GRANDMOTHER HOME~*~
10/8/03
Good day family, Yes, today my heart is very heavy. God called her home this morning. she was 92 years young. her birthday is on the 21st of this month. But she didn't make it to 93. She was inpacked (bowels) so badly that meds didn't help her at all, so operation was the only option. She didn't recover from the operation she had months ago. The family didn't want the operation to happen but the doctors said it had to happen because she would starve to death if she didn't have it. she came through the operation okay, but because she had problems walking and standing up straight. she couldn't get in her exercise and she grow very weak and became bedridden, deep down I knew her days were numbered. I think she gave up living cause she wasn't the same after the operation. she didn't look like a fragile 92 yr old lady. she always appeared strong for her age. but after the operation she looked awful and weak. she just went down hill very fast. also during her recovery her mind had gotten worse, she also started talking to her dead brothers and sister and mother and father. like they were in the room with her. So all of us knew things weren't going to get better. We know God knows when it's your time, everyone has their time set. and no one can change or escape it. In no way shape or form. Mom mom gave us precious memories and treasures that is priceless. Im so glad my children were able to get to know her, it's funny how they always got all tied up with who was who. they had the blessings to have a mom, grandmom, greatgrandmom. Mom mom always told us about the old days and how it was back then, also she pretty much filled in the blanks about our family tree. God bless her, I will surly miss her very much.

~*~THE DAY GOD TOOK YOU HOME~*~
In tears we saw you sinking
And watched you fade away
Our hearts were almost broken
We wanted you to stay
But when we saw you sleeping
So peaceful and free from pain
How could we wish you with us
To suffer pain again.
It broke our hearts to lose you,
But you didn't go alone;
For part of us went with you
The day God took you home.




10/10/03
To my AMOS family, I wish to take this time to thank all of you so very much for your prayers, comforting words, e-cards, e-mails and condolences to me and my family during our hour of bereavement, of the loss of my dear grandmother. May the Lord forever bless you. And please keep me in your prayers. **Hugs**
THANK YOU- take care and God Bless y'all. ~*~Hugs~*~



~*~MOM MOMS HOMECOMING SERVICES~*~
10/13/03
Well this day has finally come. I tell ya mom mom had a beautiful home going service. she looked like she was just sleeping and at peace, and for some reason she looked younger. LOL. I tell ya, she would of been pleased about that. she's at rest now. so her book has been written, from beginning to the end. God Bless her soul. <> Let's change gears a little. I had many many good, NO great compliments about my weight loss. alot of folks hadn't seen me for a long while. and they just voiced their surprise loudly. LOL. My cousin asked who are you? LOL she repeated this about 4 times. I thought she was trying to be funny. but then I seen her expression on her face. she really didn't know who I was. I just kept saying it's me, smiling and laughing all at the same time. LOL. Because I was sitting on the first pew of the church were the immediate family sits. and I guess she thought I was someone she never meant. anyhow I had many conversations on the subject of wls. and no one that I heard or talked to was negitive about it. alot of folks said that they heard about people getting the surgery done. But never meant no one. First thing they said, was how do you feel now that you have loss alot of weight? "Now don't you feel much better" this could hurt my feelings. but I don't let it cause it's true. I do feel much better now. All in all, everyone is happy for me. and I sit back taking it all in with a big smile on my face. I heard Mom tell the pastor that she was real proud of me.and it seems like Im happier. I just smile to myself. cause she was one of a few that didn't want me to have wls. she said "Oh no your not" I said "Oh yes I am". I had my mind made up and that was that. Oh what bad child I am ! LOL. Hey! I was 48 years old with 4 kids. anyhow she was alright after I schooled her on wls. I printed out info off obesityhelp.com and other sites. before I knew it. she was calling me to let me know a program was coming on tv about wls. she was there with me giving her support. Mom was great. and I love her for being Mom. Oh well folks! Oh yes! I was also bad during dinner after the funeral. boy did they have food. I was just find eating my dinner. I gave all the carb foods away, and ate my slice of ham and chicken. this was going good. until they served dessert. I tell ya, I called myself pinching a piece of cake. well before it was over I had eaten 2 slices of good tasting cake. boy was it good. Then I got depressed and peed at myself.I felt scared I had gain alot from eating it. Because I have just broken my 1 1/2 month plateau. I came home and weighed before bedtime. so we will see in the morning what the damage is. Good night good folks. God Bless you all. ~*~Hugs~*~


~*~THE DAY AFTER~*~
10/14/03
Well folks I did GAIN. grrrrrr. But so far I gained 1 pound. Today I will focus on getting this off me. Im so glad it's not more. anyhow I did my morning walking, and have rode my exercise bike. I will eat ONLY MY PROTEINS today nothing else.I got my crock pot out and threw in some beef cubes. Cooking them until they were real tender. I fried some onions for taste. I know onions have some carbs also. but not much. My dinner is beef cubes/ fried onions and shredded cheese on top.pop it in the micro wave. Yummm It tasted good. Oh well folks talk to ya later**Hugs**


~*~I DID IT~*~

10/15/03
Hey there! Guess what? I did it. Everything I did yesterday must of worked for me. I weighed in and the scale said that I have loss the 1 pound gained, plus loss 2 more. YES! Im so happy Im still losing. cause that last plateau stayed to long. No matter what I did. It just wouldn't come off. so I guess it's true when they say that if you loss fast. your body will have to play catch up at some point and time. I tell ya, it was no fun trying to jump start your weight loss again. Oh well, good folks talk to ya later. HAPPY DANCING. LOL, take care **HUGS**



MY DARN COURT DAY
10/16/03
Oh well, today is the day I go to court about a darn handicap parking ticket. 1st offence is $100.00, I can't afford this kind of money. I refuss to pay it without a fight. Because I know I am not guilty. The story is,I was minding my own business at my computer, when I happen to look out and seen this cop putting a ticket on my car. so I go to the bathroom window to ask him why was he giving me a ticket. He says because it's clearly marked that it's a handicap parking space. I told him no it's not! because what he see has been sealant over two years ago, and now is showing through. well of course he didn't believe me. and he told me I had a court date. Because it's clearly marked. Grrrrrrr. I shut my mouth because I didn't want to say anything out of the way. So from that day on I had a mission to prove that, I was right. first I called the apt complex. and they said fight it cause it's not a handicap spot. then I got a letter from them. Then I walked up front and took pics of the handicap spaces there, which are correct. and then took pics of were I was parked. My spot had no metal sign indicating the warning or fine amounts. plus no blue lines, the emblem was faded big time and there was no ramp. which don't mean anything, I just put that in LOL, The ones up front had metal signs, blue lines, yellow ramps , and a nice color blue handicap emblem. It was clear as day a diffence in the pics. So I had all this for my defence. don't you know that cop told it in a way that made me sound nasty and mean. I can't believe this. he told it almost like I remembered it. but he told it in a way that made me appear smart and mean talker. Im glad I shut my mouth when I was trying to explain it to him. Anyhow I tryed to tell my side and of course I got tied up in my words. I had a little hard time in explaining what I was trying to say, so I told the judge could I show him the pics because they explain it better. so he took them and asked the cop if that was the space I was in. he agreed.plus other questions. then the judge made his ruling. Get this! he said Ms Creamer you did a good job. you did great lawyer work. I dismiss this case. YESSSSSS! he told the cop that the township must show better and clearly marked handicap spaces to the citizens. They must have a metal sign, blue lines and a clearly marked handicap emblem. I left there with a smile on my face. I had stood up and won my case. what a feeling. Before my surgery I would of just pleaded guilty and paid the fine. I guess this is the new me coming out. Yesssss. I just love this. What a big load off me. I wish it was weight, LOL. Oh well! talk to you good folks later **Hugs**



10/18/03

Hello family, Im bored today, I just wanted to pop in to say hi, and to wish all pre-ops the best on the start of their wls journey. Hang tough and follow your dreams, I tell ya, it is nicer on the losing side. You will surly see. and for all the post-ops, everyday is a better day for us all. we will reach our goal with due time, just keep up the good job and stay focused. and to all my heros who have went through the whole journey and have meant their goals. Y'all are very successful and have shown us that there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. hats off to y'all. you are all winners. CONGRATULATIONS




~*~HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM MOM~*~
I miss you already. MOM MOM RIPJust think you were here with us in the beginning of this month. But God called you home. REST IN PEACE WE WILL ALWAYS LOVE AND MISS YOU. YOUR GRANDDAUGHTER NADINE



GOING TO GYN
10/22/03
Hello family, I went to my doc this morning, Boy do I hate going to them, but we all know it's something we must do. I haven't been for 2 yrs, cause of being so FAT I was always so ashame. Plus I had a man doc. Yeah! I know, but still that's how I felt. Two years ago I had a male doc, I liked and felt comfortable with him. Because he was overweight big time even more than me. anyhow he died of a heartattack. and I had no one eles to go to. that is until now, A woman took his place. and so I made a appointment with her. she's cool. and I like her so now I will continue to go to her for any womenly situations. Oh well, I got weighted today. Im 254lbs YAY! my scale at home said 255 lbs this morning. so I'll go with the docs scale. LOL I have some work to do. My anniversary.
*******
10/19th I had my Tummy Tuck. By Dr Watts. everything went well. it took 2 1/2 hrs. so now I have a flat belly.
10/28/04 My first office visit.
Hi everyone. well my update is that on 10/19th I had my TT, it took 2 1/2 hrs for a full TT. everything went well. I came home feeling ok. but I see as time go by this being my second week I'm feeling awful. not really sick, but blah. I had my first office visit last night. he gave me refills on pain med. I also asked for meds for constipation, and swelling. he said I had a lot of swelling going on in my body. before the tt. anyhow I have to take meds for this also. Recovery is going ok I'm just bored and sore, and feel tied down can't do to much. LOL I'm so happy with my TT, it's unbelievable that I once again have a flat belly. it's funny how on the second day I took a shower and as I was doing so I went to lift up my hanging belly and it wasn't there. LOL wow, I have to get use to this. LOL anyhow please have me in your thoughts and prayers as I will you. hang in there, **Hugs**:kiss:

OH YES, MY PS TOOK 25 lbs OFF :jump:

11/5/04
*********IT"S GONE**********
Hello everyone, things are going ok this way, hope the same for y'all. I had my second doctors visit with the plastic surgeon. (Dr. Watts) I can't believe that with all the planning to leave early, I got there late, grrrrrr 15 mins late. I guess I unestimated the distance. when I got there I just held my breathe cause I thought sure the nurse(staff) wasgoing to have to cancell me because of it. But she didn't, they waiting room was full and she did say it will be a long wait. Come to be I was the last of his patients that night. Great news he removed all 3 of my JP drains. plus the stitches. OUCH OUCH OUCH LOL but it wasn't bad. I even found some the next few days, I just pulled them out. he had already cut them, he just overlooked a few. and the JP tubes. well, let's just say first one was short and quick. but made you say WHATTTTT, second one made you say WHAT THE ? LOL and the third one made me pray that this isn't the big bad one. LOL it wasn't. I think the second one was the worse of them all. it was fast but it felt like it was placed right under my breast bone. when he pulled it I felt were it was coming from. So noe I'm free from them all. I thought I was going to be able to exercise but he said no. not until he say so. cause he doesn't want the inside stitches to come undone. ME EITHER LOL so as of now I just take it easy. I'm still alittle sore. but healing, trying to keep from getting any infections. I do see that a part of the incisions is opened and I'm doing ALL I can to keep it in good shape. Oh, I have to say this. I look like a reject Dolly Parton. my boobs are so big now, that it's a shame. I have already asked my Dr. about when I can start seeking approval for my breast reduction. I tell ya. I'm going to try to get 36 what ever. LOL I loss over 200 lbs and still am very top heavy. and It pulls me forward and downward. and they have to GO GO GO. Can't wait. LOL oh well Best wishes to all and to all a good night. Hang in there. **Hugs**
Hey y'all I HAVE A FLAT TUMMY. LOL



























Photos

380 lbs
one awful pics of me in 1999~*~My Top wt at my wls day 12/6/02 was 400 lbs
200 lbs
all my wt is in my boobs and tummy plastic surgery date 10/19th/04


Hospital Reviews
  • (Bridgeton, NJ) - South Jersey Hospital

    • Product Reviews
  • Bayer Corporation - One A Day*Weight Smart
  • Equate - Diet Smart
  • Kraft Foods North America, INC - Crystal Light Sunrise


    • Weight Loss Survey Responses
    Click Here To View


    Member Interests:
  • Computers & Internet - addictive, addictive, additive. I love it so much

  • Fish - I have a gold fish so large, people always ask how old is it?

  • Walking - Wallking, I wouldn't had been able to do this before my wls

  • Computer Games - I like to download games

  • Flowers - I love flowers of almost all kinds

  • Cooking & Baking - only on weekends and Holidays (kids are older now)

  • Black American - I'm a proud black woman and loves the Lord

  • Christianity - I'm Baptist and I love The Lord. I Believe

  • Track & Field - My daughter runs track, I really enjoy watching her run

  • Road Trips - hopefully will be traveling, enjoying the new me one day


    • Click here to see interests of other ObesityHelp members.

    Surgeon Info:
    Surgeon: C. E. Pasupathy M.D.
    My first impression, after my first visitation with Dr. Pasupathy, I found him to be very friendly, soft spoken and direct and to the point. His staff was friendly and made you feel welcome. The office has a very warm atmosphere. And it was nice to know they handle all the insurance issues. They took care of everything. YAY!! Anyhow, Future patients should expect to hear direct and to the point issues about WLS and the pros and cons. Dr. Pasupathy will not sugar coat anything. He will get right to the point with what has to be said. Believe me. He scared the heck out of me. LOL. I did my homework and knew the dangers. but to hear him tell it, kind of made me swallow hard. LOL, I tell you! it was scary to hear. I suggest you bring someone with you for support. He addressed everything I needed to know. I give him high marks thus far. because he presented himself professionally and explained everything to me. As much as I want this , I have to think about my decision. I must be 100% sure this is what I want to do....UPDATE After my wls on 12/6/02 I personaly think Dr. Pasupathy is a GREAT DR. He really took care of my well being. He clearly knows his profession and he surly has saved my life. Thanks to him I have a new beginning and a new life ahead. I can't thank him enough.
    Insurer Info:
    Horizon/Mercy
    Before I even went to the doctors. I e-mailed Horizon/Mercy to ask them if they covered such operations. They got back with me. and told me all I had to do, step by step. they even had gave me a doctors name. who I will check out. I had no problems so far. Well on 10/16 was my 1st appt with Dr. Pasupathy Today is 10/22 and The insurance company approved me today. all they asked for me to do is to make an appointment to see a dietician.