Describe your behavioral and emotional battle with weight control before learning about bariatric surgery.
I have always been your typical out going- loving-people pleaser roll model. Always bigger than my sister and friends. My self esteem was not what it should have been(still isn't). I wish I would have had guidence on how to have a healthy body image, self esteem, dealing with being over weight as child and to siblings that were not over weight.
No one is a bigger Daddy's girl than I was. I truly thought he could hang the moon and stars. I grew up in an abusive home. He would always call me his "Fat Ass". It worked for me! That is how he acknowledged me. As I got older it really got to me. It hurt so deep, that my own father would call me that. What did the rest of the world think of me?
My mom was murdered when I was a year and a half. Unfortunatly, I have no memories of her. My sister was always complimented and put on a pedistool. "OH, you look like Angie (our mom). Everything was always about her. I have a younger brother (half) who always got attention for being the smart and gifted one. Which he was!~ And if you are wondering.... My sister does look like my mom. I always felt left out. I was always told I can't wear that, even for things that would have been very child appropriate. Ex. A skirt, unless it literally went to my knees. This includes not being able to wear a scort. Nothing sleevless, no tank tops, shorts..... they better go past your knees!
All of these things taught me to not ever give 100% of myself when starting relationships, even with family. I always second guessed myself as to what I was capable of. I didn't try out for cheerleading or dance line bc of my self lack if confidence. I did try out for Mascot, WON, set new records!!! I had fun, but thats not what I truly wanted.
I was voted for home coming court nominee, going up against all the rest of my pretty super popular friends really scared me. I would always talk myself out of everything that should have been an accomplishment. Ex. They only voted for me bc I am nice. The famous line was " You are so pretty, I love your hair" or " OMG Your hair is so pretty" all of these things lead me to believe that I wasn't good enough.
My mom (step-mom) would make me eat wheat bread and pretzels while my siblings got to eat white bread, good chips, and dessert. I associate this being the reason I hide and eat. I could hide away from every one and eat a whole bag of candy in 3 days that I was suppose to be selling for Year Book Staff.
What was (is) the worst thing about being overweight?
Lacking of self beauty and happiness. Everything else does matter, what people think, not being able to be as active, high blood pressure, etc...... but at the end of the day, if you aren't happy with yourself you can't be happy with any one else.
When it consumes me I am not happy in any aspect of my life. It sucks.
If you have had weight loss surgery already, what things do you most enjoy doing now that you weren't able to do before?
I was able to get off my blood pressure medications before having another child! I am able to RUN!! Do you hear me???? I mean... Do you read me!!! RUN!!! I have never been able to run!. I wanted to be able to keep up with my husband when he came home from Iraq and I have accomplished that. I love that I can buy smaller sizes. I love that I am able to just eat a bite or two and be satisfied with something I am not suppose to put in my body! I love how I get told every two seconds by my hubby and I am beautiful and sexy. I love all the compliments I get from everyone else, too! It makes me Humble. To think people think I am pretty and worthy of them telling me! I can say I did it. I made a lifestyle change!
PS Sex life is AMAZING!!!!! I can do more!!! :~}
BeautifulCajun
