I like that poem, who wrote it? Rene

"For everyone who thought I couldn't do it. For everyone who thought I shouldn't do it. For everyone who said, 'It's impossible.' See you at the finish line!" Quote from the late Chris Reeves "Superman". You know what it has become my motto...It's so true the way he thought about life. This surgery was my turnaround in life and the phrase fits exactly how I feel for all the people who thought I wouldn't get this far.!!

Oh Stacy Honey... I can't even imagine what you are feeling.... I won't tell you to seek counseling, but I want to share my experience with therapy with you and how drastically it changed my life. I am single with no kids ~ so how could I have problems, right? WRONG! For years I pretended to be the "cheery, upbeat girl" despite my weight. I was determined not to let it affect me. For the most part it worked. Want to know why? I wasn't real with myself. I was living my alternate life - a lie! Your inside story sounds so familiar to me! After wls, I wanted so bad to live my real life. I too, have been in therapy for years. I had to work hard at finding a therapist that I was both comfortable with and meshed with me (very important!) Don't be afraid to try another one, or another one until you find someone that works with you. Even while I was in therapy sometimes things got worse - but I stuck with it. I tried to commit suicide and spent time in a mental hospital. I was devastated. Then they discovered I was bipolar. That was even more devastating. I was now "mentally ill". I truly thought stuff like that only happened to other people and there was something wrong with them if they couldn't deal with it. Boy was I wrong. For the past two years I have seen just how many "normal" people have a mental illness and I have learned to celebrate my successes instead of hide from my illness. My family still hides from it - but I don't care. I have talked with them about my feelings and told them I am open to discussion any time they are ready. My point (equally long winded) is that yes, emotionally, physically & spiritually you are a different person. My guess is that you are feeling suffocated by your current responsibilities just when you want to explore your new person. You didn't mention why you and your mother are taking care of your sister's kids. But as many issues that are not yours - MAKE THEM NOT YOURS! It is extremely difficult to say no - especially to family. You can love them, support them, care for them. But if you don't nurture yourself - how do you have energy to support other people? If it is all possible - take a weekend and go somewhere alone. Even if it's just a friends house or camping in the woods. Be by yourself for a weekend. No kids, nor worries. This will help tremendously. You owe it to yourself to be healthy, both physically & emotionally. Be honest with yourself. My grandmother gave me a piece of advice that I try to remember and adhere to - no matter how impossible it may seem.... You can only worry about three things at once - so pick the three things that you actually have control over. Once you let the others go - no matter how difficult, your life won't seem so overwhelming. I'll be praying for you! God Bless Barbie

Hey Betty! That sounds a bit like me! On again off again. I do a pretty good job of eating protein & fresh fruits and veggies. I need more water though. I drink quite a bit all day, but it isn't always water. I got the new packets of crystal light to take to work with me. That way when I want one, I'll have it. Exercise is another story. I do all the good stuff, park away from the store, work out muscles when I'm just sitting or at my desk. I do a lot of stretching each day - but aerobic, sweaty exercise is a HUGE chore for me. I have to kick myself and then kick myself again to get it done. I have to say that I don't make it more than I make it. So I don't know what the answer is... When you find it - please let me know!! God Bless! Barbie 281/196/170ish

Hi Susan, Wow! What a dilemma! I can't imagine a loved one holding me back from something that I want to do to make me feel better about myself. But since he has decided not to, you need to decide if it's worth to you. If it is - YOU GO GIRL! God Bless! Barbie 281/196/170ish