Dating Question

I dont know if anyone has run into this but I was wondering if you started to see someone and did you tell him/her that you had the surgery? I know that I dont have to discuss it but if and when we were to become intimate I would have some explaining to do since I have a 7 inch scar from my chest to just above my belly button. It doesnt bother me at all and is a constant reminder what I have went thru and never want to go thru it again. Any help or suggestions would be greatly appreciated!!!! Sue 242/185/???

Sue, I was thinking about this too- but I think that the subject would come up a lot sooner - like when you have your first meal together. With the amount of food that we eat, I am sure it would make the date raise some questions. Good luck! Beth

I was dating someone for about a month. I was honest about it and told them that I recently had stomach surgery and cannot eat a lot. They appreciated the truth and quite honestly, it will come up as to why you aren't eating a lot. For me I found it was better to get it out of the way and go from there. In all honesty, I think that if a person is weirded out by ME having surgery to be healthier, that's a red flag in dating. JMHO HTH and Good Luck!! ~amber~

I would be up front and honest with the person, this way you know who they truly are and that they will care for you the way you are and appreciate how much commitment and bravery it took to get your health back. Shoot, I tell people when I am out eating and if they ask why I didn't eat all my food. I'd tell the person perhaps second or third date but definately before it came down to the intimate part. Good Luck!!! Kelli

Its good to hear that you are considering new relations!! I agree with the others. It will come up sooner as you share your life story with him and he shares it with you. You should not have to 'explain', rather you should want to share as part of the bonding experience. People have scars for a variety of reasons and its a part of being human. He may have scars and want to share the battle stories with you, too. I met up with an old flame tonite and openly told him about surgery. We were once very close and it was an update to my life and what I am about. He was very excited for me and we talked at length about the changes ahead. Overall I'll say that you share surgery - or anything important about yourself - as the person and timing is right. There are times where you have to take a chance and put yourself out there. If the person is not supportive then it immediately tells you that this person is not worthy of you. Oh, and I slightly disagree about the low quantity of food being a reason to tell the person. I notice that skinny women pick at their food all the time and they are never required to explain why...its just a part of being a woman!!! Or being not hungry. Eating too much or too little should never require an explaination. it is what it is...JMHO. Good luck!!! New relationships are very exciting and I hope yours is satisfying to you. Tiff