Question to Ponder???

After my trip to Vegas and seeing all these skinny, buxom women in the land of fantasy, it got me wondering something. Do I really look as good as I think I do? By this I mean, when I was heavier, I didn't really see HOW heavy I was, even when I looked in the mirror. I had a distorted body image and always saw myself smaller than I really was. So, is that happening now, too? I mean, I know that obviously in comparison to the way I used to look, I look better. But, am I seeing myself smaller than I really am right now? I was just wondering if anyone else felt the same way. Not fishing for compliments at all, just a "things that make you go hmmmm?" question. How will we know we REALLY look good?? Lisa S. 227/158/140 5'6.5"

Hi Lisa, I think I have the other side I'm not seeing the weight loss. I know in my head that I've lost 80 pounds but I just don't see it. I see it in the number on the scale and in how my clothes fit, but when I look in the mirror, I just see me. Fat me. Except now I have a neck I know that will change in time. My mind just hasn't caught up to where my body has gotten. And because I still have a ways to go (about 70 more pounds), there is still time for that to happen. Regards and hugs, Ronna

Hi Lisa, Great thought....this goes thru my mind all the time these days. I was trying on some smaller sizes and caught a glimpse of my tummy that pulled me back. I grabbed a longer shirt and wondered if I was taking too many liberties showing off. I think part of the answer will come from photographs of ourselves. That will give a visual check along the way and teach us more about what we look like externally, hopefully connecting better to the internal view. I'm definately wear more revealing clothing than before and I still have the philosophy that if someone does not like it, they should not look. I feel good and ultimately that's the best measure. When I weigh 158 I plan to walk around naked as much as possible so I hope you go for it. Tiffany

Tiffany, you're so cute! That comment really made me laugh! And, you're right about the pictures. That was the only time I really saw my weight the way it really was, fat! I will use pictures from now on to guage how I really look. Beause even with lots of compliments from other people, I still think a lot of it is based on a comparison to the way I used to look, not necessarily what I really look like now. BTW, thanks for all that you're doing for the surgiversary trip. I know it will great! Lisa S. 227/158/140 5'6.5"

I have the same problem Lisa. I know I have ways to go yet..but I'm going to enjoy how I feel NOW.

I absolutely feel that too. I was the same way pre-op, and it wasn't until I was forced to see a picture of myself that I saw how huge I actually was. I am now constantly back and forth with thinking I look really damn cute or else comparing myself to really tiny girls. For instance, I am wearing a size 14/16 shirt today that I have been admiring on me whenever I was in our elevator here at work, as the elevator doors are brass and reflective. Then, about an hour ago, I got on with two tiny little things, both about 5'2" and probably size zeros. I'm 5'10" and probably still weigh more than the two of them put together, and I just felt like an OGRE in that space! Also, a couple weeks ago I got dressed up - looking good I think - and went out with some friends of mine from the California message board. Most all of them are a year out or longer, and the one who is not is a lightweight and already smaller than me anyway, and I could only sit there and think, I'm STILL the fattest girl in the group! But I am certainly having a lot more fun now! Beth

Hi Lisa. This IS a good question! I always wonder how other people see me. I mean, I've been getting a lot of compliments...people are always calling me skinny! I'm hardly that, but hey, it makes me feel good. I still see myself as fat though...even though someone said I wasn't a "big girl" anymore, and my friend said "When you were fat...". I think we'll have some kind of distorted body image for quite some time...probably until goal. I think I'm seeing myself BIGGER than how other people see me. I mean, I know I look better, but I still think I'm fat and I still have a lot of weight to lose since I have been comparing the scale and the way I look. And I went to Vegas last month and I saw all kinds of women there...fat, skinny, short, tall. Are you sure you were in Vegas? April

Hey Lisa, I am doing my thesis topic on this very subject, weird how you brought this question up. It's hard to "see" ourselves as losing weight because we've lived with the weight. It will take time dear, but you'll see it and you'll love it. I'll be putting out some flyers on the board here and lapband board to try and round up some participants about the study...I can't say into detail but I think everyone will be interested to see the end results which I will post on here once I am done....hopefully by Xmas!!! Kelli

Lisa - I looked at your pictures. You are skinny! I wish I was that small. I started out 110 lbs. more than you. I'm still not down to your beginning weight. I am just now starting to feel smaller. I know I have another 90+ lbs. to go before I'm at goal. I'll just keep on plugging. Keep up the good work. Karla 337/248/150

Lisa: I just brought up this subject to my hubby yesterday. I was feeling soooo proud of myself & thinking I looked hot. Well, I had him take a picture of me in this outfit and suddenly I realized that I'm much heavier than I feel. Granted, I'm much, much smaller than when I started, just not a small as my mind thought I was. My therapist made a comment that was similar to this. She referred to my hubby as a middle aged man. He IS---because he's 52, but I've never seen him (or myself) as middle aged....I just see him as Hubby--that same 21 year old that I married. It's kind of the same thing....We don't see our new bodies in the mirror, we just see ourselves. Kathy R