AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

I guess we can call this confession time because I have a few things that I have been hiding from you guys and I need to come clean. I weighed myself today and was overjoyed to see that I lost 103 pounds since Jan 16. So woohoo century club right? Then why I am discusted? Here's why... How many of you noticed I stopped posting on Kay's menu? How many of you noticed I stopped posting on just about everything? How many of you noticed that I lost 9 pounds last week? How many of you figured out that for me to be a -103 I just lost another 6 pounds in 3 days? I feel like I have lost control of myself lately. What started as a messed up secret way of kicking my weightloss up some has turned into a downhill spiral. It started with me skipping breakfast. I justified it because I never liked breakfast anyway. Wow...the scales were moving faster. I wonder what would happen if breakfast AND lunch were skipped?? At this point I stopped posting on Kay's post. Needless to say the pounds were melting off like crazy. Here it is about 3 weeks later and I feel like I am in the beginning to see a big problem. I am totally turned off by food...TOTALLY. If I think of it or see it I feel repulsed. It takes total mental control to force myself to eat anything. So here I am, happy and discusted at the same time. Not only am I physically exhausted I am mentally exhausted as well. I didn't post this to get flamed or to get advice. I posted this because I needed to expose what I have been doing behind everyone's back. Dawn

Congrats on the 103 down We're discussing the other aspects now

MUAH!!!!

Great on the loss of 103 pounds, but yes I had noticed that you were missing in action from the board alot lately. I commend you however, for realizing that something is wrong even though you are losing tremendously right now...A lot of us, me included would say "YES" and not think about the consequences later down the road....I will support you anyway I can in getting back on the right track for a healthy life forever, not just for the moment, if you want me to. Marsha

Dawn, how brave of you to come "out of hiding", so to speak, and confess this to us. I admire your honesty, and your ability to see that this is a problem that needs confronting. My only piece of advice, though I know you didn't ask for it, is to be this honest with your doctor as well. I am sure that this has happened to other WLS patients. BIG hugs and BIG congrats on the weight loss!! Beth

Dawn, First congrats on the 103 pounds gone. Do you think maybe you need to work with a NUT? It is important to eat and not always worry about those pounds melting off. Our bodies need energy and food provides that. I skip breakfast but do eat lunch & dinner. Please talk to someone as I wouldn't want to see you get mal-nurished from lack of food. Carly

I know you just posted to get it off your chest, but I thought I would share my story and perhaps lend a bit of support. I was going to just email you, but thought that maybe someone else was going through this or will go through this, so I figured I'd just post it here I went through a similuar situation for a bit. I changed jobs and moved across the country and my schedule went wonky, I basically stopped eating. I knew that it was an issue, but it was so easy to not eat when I was seeing such great weight loss. Then I started to hate to eat, and would avoid it. This was about mid april that this all happened with me. At first things were great, I didn't have to think about food. I wasn't counting what I ate, when I did eat. And best of all, the scale was moving so fast! I started to despise food. I would literally get sick after attempting to eat, the few times I did. Then after about 2 solid weeks of barely eating, I began to feel sluggish all the time. I then began to feel dizy often. After a few days of that, I started to black out when I stood up too fast, or ran up/down the stairs too fast. The blackouts were only for a few seconds, and thankfully I never fell. But, that was enough to freak me out. I knew that loosing weight like that was not only very unhealthy physically for my body, but it also really started messing with my emotional connection with food. I am now glad to say that I am eating more normally again and I am finally back up to my daily protein requirements. It was so hard at first, but one thing that helped was I had a friend call me at the end of every night to ask what I ate that day. That was such a help. Just to know I would that I would be accountable, and knowing that someone else cared about my health too. I had my WLS in order to have healthy body and knew that way of losing weight wasn't getting me anywhere. I also knew that I wanted to have a healthy relationship with food, and I definately wasn't cultivating that with the bad habbits. I hope you don't find this preachy at all, I just thought that perhaps what I went through would help people understand this topic a bit better. Take Care, Mary

Mary, I have been dealing with black outs and dangerously low blood sugar levels for weeks myself. I think the main reason I posted this was so that I would be forced to change. I have a friend that calls me every night and asks what I ate. Grudgingly I tell him...but that's a step in the right direction. Dawn

You are definately going in the right direction... you have recognized the problem and you want to change. I am proud of you for taking action and reclaiming your health!

Dawn: First of all, congrats on the weight loss! That is a GOOD thing. But...the way you are going about it is not the healthy way...I know you know this. My suggestion? Get thee to a therapist, my friend. You do not want to have all this success only to develop a severe eating disorder. You did this to be healthy! Good luck!! Jersey