Please flame me...

Well, don't really flame me...haha. I am home from work today as I just needed to take a day off of work. My BF and I got in a horrible fight last night. It was my fault...I own up to it. I am feeling badly about some things I'm doing in my life right now, and how I am reacting to it. And right now I just re-heated some french fries from last night's dinner. They are homemade baked fries, not deep fried or anything...but they have 0 protein and are carbs and are a bad choice. They just looked better to me than yogurt or cheese or lunch meat so I just had three big ones. The part that bugs me is that I know I made a bad choice because of the headspace I am in right now, you know? And that is behavior that will cause me to regain weight if I keep it up in a few years. Please tell me I am not alone in being terrified that I won't be able to change the "me" that caused me to eat and become MO to begin with? Thanks, Beth

Beth, you are definately NOT alone in being scared of not being able to change. I think we all are scared of that. I hear myself everyday, my MO self that is, saying where is my ice cream, I want a candy bar, etc, etc, etc,....but my newer self saying shut the **** up. I have heard several of my friends that have had this surgery say that we really needed more counseling for this surgery. Yes we had evaluations that said we were doing it for the right reasons, but what about the habits, and fixing emotions with food issues? One or two days of bad choices is not going to ruin the progress that you have made....but thinking that food will fix the problems or make you feel better will.....I can't tell you how to fix this, I, and many others struggle with this daily, but I can tell you that you are not alone..... Take care Marsha

Thanks Marsha. I feel better now and have gotten in some protein and 32 oz of water (which I am always bad with). I think I agree about the counseling too. What I am better with now is knowing that I made a choice I wouldn't usually make because of where I am in my head. Knowing those triggers is a start to controlling the urges, I would think. Thanks again. Beth

The first step to recovery is admitting we have a problem, which you just did. Might I suggest that you get something in the house that yourmind and body might think is a bad choice, but really isn't? By this I mean something like sugar free pudding, or sugar free candy. There are times when everyone needs that comfort food. There is room in our new lives for this. You really didn't make too bad a choice. They were not fried FF, they were baked, that is one less thing wrong with them. As life goes on, we wont always be able to eat protein foods. I know, I have to sometimes choose that baked potatoe because eveything else is fried or too many carbs. Potatoes are a veggy, so it is an alright choice once in awhile. I need my chocolate at least once a month. Instead of trying the deserts that catering has, real high in sugar, I bought the sf pudding. I have had 2 of them in 2 weeks, not bad and they did the trick. I also find that I will have a full dinner of veggies because the beef is too dry for my stomach or the chicken just turns my stomach. Sat. I had a meal of squash medly and then later on had the same thing for desert, no protein at all for those meals. But it was a better choice than what I would have made before the surgery. Yes, we need to watch what we eat bite by bite, but you also need to look at the overall way of eating. Has the overall choices you made been good? Are they better now than before surgery? I bet they are. Don't beat yourself up over this. It is a way of life. If you beat yourself up too much, then you have fallen back into that old way of dieting and failure. We are no longer dieting, that means we can't cheat. It is a way of life. I look at it like this also, I will want my meal of french fries once in awhile, that is the way life is. So I will eat it and not be guilty. I will watch my overall way of eating and make sure it is balanced to our bodies need. As long as this all fits, than my choices are fine. In the furture when I reach goal, I will watch my weight, when it goes up a few pounds, I will take a few days to bring it back down, in the way that I find works for my body. I will not hide from the scale and fool myself the way I use to, the way that let my weight creep up to the place is was. In these ways, I have changed my way of living. No more dieting, no more beating myself up, just an understanding of my body and listening to it. So chin up, it really isn't that bad

I definitely make good choices WAY more often than bad ones, and that is really something I'm proud of myself for. I am not really beating myself up about the french fries because I know they weren't that bad...I guess the emotional eating aspect of it bothers me more. Thanks so much for the support! Beth

Well said, thanks.....

Beth, oh NO you are NOt alone! I have really been struggling lately, simply because I am so sick of eating the same things over and over again. I have such a hard time finding new and exciting protien foods, so I have turned to chips, and s/f desserts, that i know are not good for me in any way. I too wish i had the answer to fix this problem, but I know that I try most days to do good so if I mess up once in a while I don't beat myself up. Karyn

I know what you mean about food being so darn boring lately!! Even my favorite foods prior to surgery, I would get sick of if I had too much. So post-op it has become even worse!! We will hang in there together, and I agree, the best thing to do is keep moving forward and not beat ourselves up. Beth

No Beth, you are not alone. I have been over indulgent with me sometimes. The important matter here is that you are aware that you need and you can go back to the right way. My best wishes for you and the relations with your BF Alex

Thanks Alex. The BF and I have been together for over a decade now, so I think we will be OK. There is a lot of love there. As far as eating, I am back on track! Thanks! Beth