Non-WLS friends (long rant)

Ok, allow me to rant... and please feel free to offer any opinions and suggestions on how to handle this situation. Shortly after surgery, in April, I moved across the country into a house. I have a few roomates, all of which are professional single women in their 20's (I am 25). I have always been very open about my WLS with them. I began to develop a frienship with one of my roomates and we spend a lot of our free time together. The thing is she has an eating disorder. She battled bulemia as a teen and now thinks she is healthy... which she is not. She is obssesive about food. She often times makes comments on how she can not eat the things I eat because they are too "unhealthy" or "have way too much fat" (things like cheese, for example). I respect the fact that she chooses to eat a certian diet, but it really bothers me that she seems to almost belittle my food choices. She is also obsessive about working out and has made quite a few comments on the fact that I hardly ever do. Which, yes, I need to work out more, but this is a struggle that I am slowly working to overcome. Well, I borrowed her scale tonight and she went off about how unfair it was that she is always dieting and working out and doesn't lose weight and I don't even try and have this wonderful life where I don't get hungry (which I don't). But, I am so mad! I tried to explain that this is not an easy thing where I don't try, etc, etc, etc. She did not listen. I guess what it boils down to is that I will never understand those who have been thin their entire lives and they will never understand how it is to be MO let alone then to have WLS. Sorry, I just had to get this out. Thanks for reading. P.S. I tried to change my pic to the more recent one, and now my old one is showing and is distorted. Hopefully it will update soon.

Just tell her to stop commenting on your food and then try and explain why it bother's you. I just think some people "just don't get it" Good luck! ~~hugs and well wishes~~ Chris

I am so sorry that you are experienceing this situation with your friend. Most people don't begin to realize how uneasy loseing weight through WLS really is. To them it just looks like we don't get hungry and we don't do anything and the weight just disappears. Just don't let her get to you. She has her own cross to bear, don't let her put it on you. Hazel

Sorry you're having a hard time with your friend. If they haven't gone through it..most won't understand what we need to eat to get all our calcium or protien. As far as your picture goes...try holding down your control key and hit refresh. That worked for me. keep up the great work on your weight loss! Anna D

Thanks for the crtl+refresh tip... it worked

I think that most people are unaware of what a sacrifice this is for the rest of your life. This is not some casual diet where you can cheat and then go back on later. This is a life altering commitment that each one of us has made. I have had people actually say, "Oh, did you take the easy way out?" EASY WAY OUT!!!!!!!!! You have got to be kidding me......... I usually don't even waste my time explaining anymore. I know what I have to do to make this work for me. If others are uncomfotable or just plain jealous that is their problem. I spent the whole first half of my life so worried about what others thought about me, who was talking about me, can I please everyone...... No more, this last half of my life it is about me. It has to be. If I want to have a last half of my life. Just turn a deaf ear....that's what I do now. Ignorant bliss is wonderful. Kathy

M.M., Just a thought- Maybe you are making HER eating disorder YOUR problem. Her problems with food and working out are issues she needs to resolve and it dosen't sound like she is there in her journey. MO or thin, most people can only understand/see/realize where they are with very little empathy for any one else. I have a friend I dearly love, overweight herself. We do not talk about food, excersise, water or anything involving health as our ideas are very different. It has saved our friendship. If this woman can't stop with the comments, maybe it is time you moved on to a new friend. Teresa

I guess it's for that very reason there are so many closet WLS patients. Because of celebrities that had this surgery and are only seen in the public eyes as shrinking and happy..they seem to think that's all there is too it. I woud just dismiss her ugly comments and choose to ignore them. Maybe for a while you can try to not eat out with her...you don't need her negativity. Dawn

As you said Mary, she has a problem. You've got to take it wity a grain of salt. You know what you need to do for you. Is there anyway you can distance yourself from her? Sounds to me like this girl needs a therepist, bigtime Hope you find some great folks to hang with soon. Regards and hugs, Ronna

Yes---this is one reason why I don't tell many people I've had the surgery--- I don't want to answer questions 24-7 or have what I ea****ched or commented on, etc... It's just my business and although it's not a secret, I just prefer to keep it to myself! Like---my cousin is a NUT and a lovely girl--I adore her, but last weekend we had lunch with our family(of course, they know I had the surgery) and when I was being served she said: "you can't really eat all that, can you?" she wasn't being an a**, she just was surprised, but I wasn't thrilled with her question anyhow--y'know? So, I understandand your issue with your friend----I hate the whole 'WLS is the easy way out' vibe because it's too simplistic and certainly doesn't address my path----- Cathy