Updates and other stuff...
Hey everyone! 
In regards to everyone that posted support for me in my last oh-so-long rant, THANK YOU VERY VERY MUCH!! 
Here's a link to my last post about everything going on for those of you not familiar with the story:
http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/01-2006/postdetail/30100.html?vc=0
(copy and paste it in... the whole link is not going to click for you)
Now for the update on the drama.... 
As I said, I finally stood up for myself and let her know I knew she was running her mouth about me. And it all backfired. To Jason, as he is seeing it now, I am the one causing the drama. I am the one acting childish and immature. I am the one ruining our friendship. And it's all because of the Witch. She has him so warped and wrapped around her finger it's sick. He is so depressed right now because of his break-up of his engagement and he is not doing well at work at all. He is definitely not himself and I know that. I have seen him go through it before and the Witch has not. That scares me more than anything. With me being out of the picture, there's no one there daily to watch him and make sure he's ok. I did not want to lose my friend more than anything. Our other friends say he's going to snap out of this sooner or later and when he does, everything can get back to normal. But I am NOT a patient person and I don't know if I can wait this out. She is hurting my friendship with Jason. I can't forgive or forget that. If I felt she really cared about him whatsoever, I would get over this. This one I can't. Do I still have feelings for Jason, absolutely. But let me clarify that with all the lies he has told me lately and all the ways I have been hurt in the last month and a half, there's going to be a lot to make up for and a lot of apologizing I am going to need to hear. Here's the biggest hurdle to overcome... Will I ever be able to trust him again??? I guess if the real Jason comes back to me as himself, without the Witch, I will have to see if I am strong enough to trust him again. But honestly, I don't know.
He hasn't spoken to me or text messaged me in over 4 days. She however, had sent me a nasty text message telling me that she doesn't hate me and never had anything against me. She says that she never talked about me behind my back (big lie) and that she knows I have an apparent issue with her... YEAH, YOU GOT MY BEST FRIEND TO PUSH ME AWAY AND THINK THAT I AM THE CAUSE OF ALL THE DRAMA!!!!! 
Then she ran her mouth on her MySpace site about how she hates drama and all the BS and that she doesn't understand why certain people can't let her be happy and stop trying to ruin her life... WHAT?!?!? As I said before, this girl has Damsel in Distress down to a T and Jason is falling for it all....
So I have decided to lay low and just stay away. At least I left the situation with what's left of my dignity. But by pulling away and sticking up for myself, I lost my best friend, and maybe some of my other friends. I told everyone not to choose sides and that I am choosing myself. I can't continue to be full of anxiety and having my buttons being pushed. I hit that wall finally and I had enough. Friday night I went with my friend Kristy, my sister, and my sister's fiancee down to a place called the Boardwalk here in Pittsburgh. There was a great band ploying and we had a great time. I danced and just had fun. Never being a girl that likes to go to bars or clubs because I was always self-conscious and felt sooooo out of place, I did ok. But it's hard being the sober one all the time. It's like I am expected to be the designated driver, which I would rather do than have someone drive drunk, but I want to be able to go out and have fun and let loose too. Also, looking for guys in a bar full of skinny little 21 year olds is not exactly productive either. It's hard for me when everyone around me gets hammered and I am completely sober. That's why I liked hanging out with my group. We rarely went drinking and I felt like I fit in. (We took pictures Friday night and I have them on my Myspace profile. Hit the WWW button on here at the bottom of my post to get there) But all in all, I had fun and LOVED the band. I will definitely go again. Yesterday and today, I have done nothing other than run to the store and get groceries. I have completely vegged out at my place and now is when the depression over the entire situation i****ting. I am going to start up my Zoloft again so I don't become a raging psycho, which I am able to become when pushed enough (and I know I have been pushed to that limit).
My friends say that I need to go out and find someone new. No kidding! But sadly, my friends don't know any good single guys and dating here in Pittsburgh is a nightmare. It's hard to find anyone honestly. Online dating has never really worked out for me in the past and my last venture into that was a bad experience. Does anyone have any ideas? I am looking for any suggestions to meet new guys at this point. I need something for me. Help please!!
So, that's what's been going on with me this weekend.... I sure hope yours has been going better!
Take care and have a great week everyone!
~amber~ 
(hiding from drama)
PS: This is my latest full body picture of me!! I finally figured out how to change these!! Ha Ha!!
In regards to everyone that posted support for me in my last oh-so-long rant, THANK YOU VERY VERY MUCH!!
Here's a link to my last post about everything going on for those of you not familiar with the story:
http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/01-2006/postdetail/30100.html?vc=0
(copy and paste it in... the whole link is not going to click for you)
Now for the update on the drama....
As I said, I finally stood up for myself and let her know I knew she was running her mouth about me. And it all backfired. To Jason, as he is seeing it now, I am the one causing the drama. I am the one acting childish and immature. I am the one ruining our friendship. And it's all because of the Witch. She has him so warped and wrapped around her finger it's sick. He is so depressed right now because of his break-up of his engagement and he is not doing well at work at all. He is definitely not himself and I know that. I have seen him go through it before and the Witch has not. That scares me more than anything. With me being out of the picture, there's no one there daily to watch him and make sure he's ok. I did not want to lose my friend more than anything. Our other friends say he's going to snap out of this sooner or later and when he does, everything can get back to normal. But I am NOT a patient person and I don't know if I can wait this out. She is hurting my friendship with Jason. I can't forgive or forget that. If I felt she really cared about him whatsoever, I would get over this. This one I can't. Do I still have feelings for Jason, absolutely. But let me clarify that with all the lies he has told me lately and all the ways I have been hurt in the last month and a half, there's going to be a lot to make up for and a lot of apologizing I am going to need to hear. Here's the biggest hurdle to overcome... Will I ever be able to trust him again??? I guess if the real Jason comes back to me as himself, without the Witch, I will have to see if I am strong enough to trust him again. But honestly, I don't know.
He hasn't spoken to me or text messaged me in over 4 days. She however, had sent me a nasty text message telling me that she doesn't hate me and never had anything against me. She says that she never talked about me behind my back (big lie) and that she knows I have an apparent issue with her... YEAH, YOU GOT MY BEST FRIEND TO PUSH ME AWAY AND THINK THAT I AM THE CAUSE OF ALL THE DRAMA!!!!! Then she ran her mouth on her MySpace site about how she hates drama and all the BS and that she doesn't understand why certain people can't let her be happy and stop trying to ruin her life... WHAT?!?!? As I said before, this girl has Damsel in Distress down to a T and Jason is falling for it all....
So I have decided to lay low and just stay away. At least I left the situation with what's left of my dignity. But by pulling away and sticking up for myself, I lost my best friend, and maybe some of my other friends. I told everyone not to choose sides and that I am choosing myself. I can't continue to be full of anxiety and having my buttons being pushed. I hit that wall finally and I had enough. Friday night I went with my friend Kristy, my sister, and my sister's fiancee down to a place called the Boardwalk here in Pittsburgh. There was a great band ploying and we had a great time. I danced and just had fun. Never being a girl that likes to go to bars or clubs because I was always self-conscious and felt sooooo out of place, I did ok. But it's hard being the sober one all the time. It's like I am expected to be the designated driver, which I would rather do than have someone drive drunk, but I want to be able to go out and have fun and let loose too. Also, looking for guys in a bar full of skinny little 21 year olds is not exactly productive either. It's hard for me when everyone around me gets hammered and I am completely sober. That's why I liked hanging out with my group. We rarely went drinking and I felt like I fit in. (We took pictures Friday night and I have them on my Myspace profile. Hit the WWW button on here at the bottom of my post to get there) But all in all, I had fun and LOVED the band. I will definitely go again. Yesterday and today, I have done nothing other than run to the store and get groceries. I have completely vegged out at my place and now is when the depression over the entire situation i****ting. I am going to start up my Zoloft again so I don't become a raging psycho, which I am able to become when pushed enough (and I know I have been pushed to that limit).
My friends say that I need to go out and find someone new. No kidding! But sadly, my friends don't know any good single guys and dating here in Pittsburgh is a nightmare. It's hard to find anyone honestly. Online dating has never really worked out for me in the past and my last venture into that was a bad experience. Does anyone have any ideas? I am looking for any suggestions to meet new guys at this point. I need something for me. Help please!!
So, that's what's been going on with me this weekend.... I sure hope yours has been going better!
Take care and have a great week everyone!
~amber~ (hiding from drama)
PS: This is my latest full body picture of me!! I finally figured out how to change these!! Ha Ha!! 
Hazel I used a program called infranview (you can download it free, just can't remember where, sorry!) to resize my pictures to be 100 x 100 pixels. Once I had those, I went to the main messageboard and clicked on User Settings and uploaded them there.
HTH!!
And yeah, I know this will pass with time, I just hope that when it does, it won't be too late!!
Thanks Hazel!!
~amber~
And yeah, I know this will pass with time, I just hope that when it does, it won't be too late!!
Thanks Hazel!!
~amber~ 
I am so osrry I bothered you all weekend about my Chris infatuation!!!!! I should have known, ugh. No more talking of him okies??? :peace:
As far as I can tell and know, everything happens for a reason. I know its easier to say and read than it is to believe. I think I was the poster child lol, now look at me! 
... ok, all kidding aside. Call me, text me what ever me, I am here for you 24 hours a day, seven days a week, you know that right? Yeah, you're three hours ahead, but who cares. I love you man!
GREAT PIC!
Oh and on the guy thing... um, don't ask me. 
lol! 
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