Question for all.....

I need to ask how all of you are handling this situation. I work at a Credit Union and most of the members have known me for almost 5 yrs now. Well they have noticed the weight loss. Do I tell them or do I just say I have been working out and eating right. Some people I feel can know and others I dont want them to know. I almost feel like I am lying if I dont "confess" but then again I am eating right and working out almost daily. Someone please What do you do? One time I told someone and they made the comment about being rich to afford it or having insurance to pay for it and making everyone elses insurance go up. Thanks for any help in advance! p.s. new pics will be here this week. (Think I will have to invest in a digital camera so I dont have to wait for the pics to be developed) Sue

That can be a touchy situation. I deal with mine on a need to know basis. There are people that it is just none of their business. Most people know that I had surgery, just not what kind. They know that I eat little and work out. You're not lying to anyone. You don't have to confess anything to anyone. You are working hard for this weight loss and most people have no idea just how hard work it is. Just tell them the truth. That you are working out and trying to eat right. That is all the average Joe needs to know. Hazel

I know exactly what you mean. I have really limited the number of people that I have been honest with. I sometimes feel bad, like I am lying, but you know what I have decided? It is not their business, unless I make it their business. If they find out and are hurt that I didn't tell them.... that is their problem. There is a reason for Dr. / patient confidentiality.... because it is the patients' personal business, and no one elses. As far as insurance... if you would have a heart attack, a result of being obese, you would also cause insurance to increase.... and you might die from that.... you have done preventative maintenance. You are trying to protect your body from needing bigger, more life threatening treatment in the future. They won't understand, but if the insurance company or your Dr thought you didn't need it, they wouldn't have let you have it done.... You did this for you and your own quality of life. It is NOT their issue... This was your choice to improve your life... Embrace that. It is all about you, and it DOES NOT MATTER what the critics say or think. Keep up the great work!!!! Stay strong! Angela

Don't worry about everybody else. If you want to tell, tell. If you don't, that's fine, too. I don't mind telling, but that's just me. I'm just glad the surgery option was available, and that I finally decided to go for it. Do what your heart tells you to do. It's not anyone else's business if it doesn't affect them. Karla

When most people ask me about how I've lose weight, I tell them diet and exercise ... the standard stuff ... its all true. We had a session about this very thing at the bariatric office before surgery. We were told that you don't "owe" anyone an explanation of why you've lost weight. I really feel that is true. But I did have a "moment" this past week. Someone came right and asked me "did you have that stomach thing done" ... those were her exact words ... real knowledgeable right! LOL But I did say "yes, I did". I had decided a while back if someone asked me outright about it, I wouldn't lie. This was someone in the office, so I guess it has been discussed among some people, but I have just chosen to keep my personal health issues just that ... personal. Debbie

Thanks so much for the replies. As you all have said I dont owe anyone anything and those I want to know I can tell. Thanks again!!! P.S. Debbie I see you are from Owensboro KY, Die hard Jeremy Mayfield fan here!!! I have his shirt on in my pre op pic on profile. Sue

Here is my opinion (keep in mind, this is just my opinion and what it for ME and I realize everyone situation is different). If people come right out and ask, I tell the truth. Now, I don't go around making an annoucement about my WLS, but I am not secretive either. I think it is all about the phrasing. I find it usually to be an oppertunity to educate people on what WLS is really about. Most see only the weight loss and dont know. My standard response when asked how I am losing so much is "It is part diet/exercise and part surgical. I am working with a nutritionist, I am on a strict diet, and I am excersing." Then I it usally leads into discussion about how I can still eat bad things, but have chosen to make better food choices, etc. Especially for those who are overweight who ask me, I find it important not to give them false premis that they can lose drastic amounts of weight with just diet and excersie. I also find that those who are judgemental can get a glimpse of what reality is. Also, I guess I feel if they are judgmental about it, they will probably speculate anyway, they might as well hear the truth and it gives me a chance to educate them. That said, I don't annouce it, and to put it out there; there have been some rude/hurtful comments made because I have told people. Yet, no matter what they say, I know that I'd rather hear a few rude comments and be healthy then have them gossip about my weight. Ultimately, everyones situation is different, follow your heart and do what you feel is best for you. Take Care, Mary