Fuming Mad!!!

Okay, I haven't posted in awhile because I've been really busy with work and trying to get on with this thesis I have to have done by the end of the year. I want to just vent out some frustrations I am having... I just broke up with my bf of 3.5 years, due to the fact he lives in San Diego and I live here in the Central Valley (near Fresno). I have gotten a full-time job here to get some experience while I get my MA degree. Being that we haven't seen each other in a long time, and I've just basically gotten tired of his neediness, I decided it was time we cooled things off while I worked on getting my life in order. I told him I wasn't dating anyone else because I dont have time right now for a relationship, I want to get the MA done and move on with life. I told him that I didn't think it was fair for me to keep a relationship with him going knowing that I wasnt going to be able to see him very much or at all with the new job and it was selfish of me to just keep him just for the sake of having him in my life. Things had changed between he and I after my sister had injuried herself...he basically ditched me cause "he couldn't handle it" so I was left on my own to deal with the situation without his support...after that things kinda went down hill but I kept the relationship for the sake of having one. Well, now I've tried to explain to him what is going on with my life the changes that my body is undergoing, the new job and doing the thesis. I basically would like to keep things friendly and I have made many efforts to explain this to him, but he doesn't reply or acts as if I was his ex-gf prior to me who slept with 4 or more guys while dating him...at least we know of 4 for sure that she was screwing, but he has placed me in that category which is not fair I've emailed him, he asked me not to call so I haven't but I really wanted to try to make things good between us, but OH NO!!! He has to have the pity party going on acting that I was a total B**ch to him which I was not. So, after the 5 or 6 emails to him I've decided to say SCREW THIS and I want my stuff back, and I am willing to pay for shipping! He has not even replied back about this...now he is going to make me into the B**ch he claims I am. His last reply was that I wasn't going to be able to fit the clothes cause I am losing the weight...HELLO!!! Those are my clothes...and I told him I wanted them back to do what I wanted with them...it wasn't his business what I could wear or not wear. So, now I am going to be going to Mexico for a fill in September, if he has not returned my stuff by then...do you all think I have the right to go over to his apt and collect it??? I swear maybe I should be more of a B*tch and things would get done faster...but I try to be the good person and I just get the raw end of the deal. I am just so mad that he can just turn so quickly on me, even when I've really made the effort to try to make things easy between us. All I can say is I am so freaking glad I didn't marry this guy...I'd hate to see if we had kids and things happened...he would leave me in the dust to handle the "problems." I am just so freaking right now I could spit!!! Ugh, well I feel better now...sorry for the venting out of emotions!!! I think I need to go work out some more! Kelli

Kelli, Maybe he is heartbroken over the break up? Perhaps the reason why he is ignoring you is because he loves you? Maybe he is hurting! I would just give it time. Are those items he has of yours really important? I hope things work out for you! ~~hugs and well wishes~~ Chris

You probably right, its just Ive really tried my best to make things easy and Ive been patient while he's been the bitter one. As for my stuff, well there are a few clothes that I do love but I guess I can let them go, if it means keeping him from having to finalize the relationship. It's just when other relationships have ended we kept things good between us...well except for one, but mainly I can still talk to them without any hangups. Maybe it's the hormonal imbalance I am going through that is making me edgy about all of this...the pressure of work and school has me on edge...thus why I wanted to end the relationship before I really hurt him. Anywho, thanks for opening my eyes up a bit...I'll just give him time. Kelli

Kelli, So sorry that the ex is making hard to move on but don't fret it. It seems to be his problem. You have alot on your plate and your choice seems to be a sound one. Good luck with your thesis and your new job. And feel free to vent here anytime Sending hugs, Ronna

Sorry to hear about your problem with your former bf. I think you should just let it go for a bit, then maybe try sending another email with a note that you are still waiting to hear from him about your belongings. I would say to stay calm and let him realize he is the one freaking out and hopefully he will come to his senses and realize that you have done the right thing. Good luck! Debbie

Vent away. That's what we're here for. Hope everything gets better soon for you. Karla 337/236/150