What the F*** am I DOING?!?

Hey Kris... You are right...pre-WLS I would have gotten the whole breakfast meal and eaten it in under three minutes! I still cannot believe I ate the whole thing with no problem...that does frighten me! I am actually already on an anti-depressant...have been since 2003. I just need to find a way back to the right way of doing things! I just cannot fail at this! I have not taken measurements...not since the second month...which was SO stupid of me! Maybe I will start doing that again... I know that they say people have 12-28 months of losing weight...but my friend had WLS a year before me and she lost 100 lbs in the first six months (I lost 85)...then it took her another 6 months to lose 20 lbs. I guess that is still considered losing but I am terrified that my weight loss will stop...or be incredibly slow! And we know how I react to that (BK runs!) I know it is irrational...I have to work on my mind-set! Thanks for the hug and kiss...I really needed it! Love and hugs, Jersey

I just read a post somewhere on this board where someone was having to change their antidepressants after WLS. Guess the difference in absorbtion made them not work as well. Not sure if you have checked into this. Not saying that it would have stopped todays kneejerk reaction you had. I got real depressed a week ago and wanted so bad to just stuff my face, but I can't. What I did do was allow myself to eat as many sf jolly rancher candies as I could. Yes there were calories, but not as much as if it had been the old bag of cookies. I really feel that we will always want the comfort of food, and I don't know, unless we find a perfect world, that we can ever get over it. So i have chosen to find foods I let myself eat as much of as I want. Maybe you can find something like that for you. I wont do it with sf pudding, but the hard candy lets me keep my mouth busy for along time. (I also quit smoking in Jan. so it helps with that too) Oh ya, I remember why I wanted to eat. I turned my truck to avoid hitting a trashbag someone had just tossed off a tour bus, saw them do it. Instead of not being lazy and getting on my high horse and being pissed, basically not getting out to move the bag, I wasn't paying attention and I turned wrong and ran the trailer into the bus. Broke off the busses mirror and pierced a hole in the trailer. Stupid, all I wanted was to stuff my face. But I grabbed the candy instead. It helped.

No flames Jersey, We are in a tough time right now. Our appetites are back and sometimes with a vengence. I'm glad you "came clean" and did it here. Hidding is the worst thing we can do as it perpetuates bad behaviors. Hopefully this is just a one time thing for you. It was very brave of you to "fess up". You'll break the 2's soon. Just hang in there. Sending lots of hugs, Ronna

Hey Ronna: I am SO glad I came clean here, too. In the past, I used to hide from this board when I was doing miserably. That was silly...you guys ALWAYS make me feel better! Thanks so much for the hugs...I cannot tell you how much I appreciate it! Love and hugs, Jersey

Jersey, I've been effin' up myself lately and want to kick my own butt afterward. The point is (for both of us): the deed has already been done. All we can do is make the necessary changes for tomorrow. I've come to terms with that now, and it's my motto. "The deed is done". You WILL break the 200's! It may take a few days or even weeks, but it will happen. Thank you so much for posting this. I think a lot of us are going through the struggle at this point and need someone to vent to. Just remember that tomorrow is a new day. april

April: That is a great motto...tomorrow is a new day....a new day to be successful! You are right...I am officially done beating myself up for the BK run! Thanks SO MUCH for the encouragement!! Love and hugs, Jersey

Jersey, you said it in your own words... "we are addicts trying to overcome our addiction" Remember that. It is not going to be easy, but you can make better choices, you already do. It is really enlightening that there are so many in here who are struggling the same fight. All of you... Keep that chin up! Drink your water, walk your miles, watch what you are taking in... We can do this and it can get easier... Best wishes to everyone who is struggling to keep that scale moving... Much love, Angela

Just so you know ..........MEEEEE TOOOO! ...........It isn't easy anymore. But we can do this. Don't give up.

Jersey, first of all big {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}!! We are all human and will therefore, all make mistakes. None of us got to where we were before surgery without succombing to emotional eating. And, as someone else stated, we had surgery on our stomachs, not our heads. I continue to struggle with emotional eating (although I don't feel particulary emotional about anything). There was a "mini" emotional eating program that was offered through OH. It was pretty good and they have a full program you can do via the web that's supposed to be really good. I'd be happy to try to track down the web address if you're interested. I don't know whether OH is still offering the free "mini" class anymore. As for your plateau, I know it has to be frustrating. Have you weighed this weight before in your life for an extended period of time? If so, your body may have established a "set point" here and it takes time to break through it. It sounds like before your BK episode, you were doing all the right things. The best "right thing" you did was coming here. It took a lot of courage to post what you did, especially when the board seems to be filled with lots of "wow" moment stuff. But, I totally agree with Ronna's post that we need to be here to support everyone, in every way. We are not just cheerleaders, but counselors, too. It's kind of like a marriage, through good times and bad. I'm so glad you felt comfortable enough to tell us what happened. Remember that it's not what you ate for one meal that made you overweight to begin with and it's not one meal that's going to get you back there. It's the habits you develop over the long haul that will get you and keep you at goal. Again, I applaud you for recognizing the "not so great" choice, talking about it and now you can move on. Girl, you're on the right path, just keep on going! Please feel free to e-mail me if you want/need to talk more directly or just want a person to contact when you feel that "urge to eat". I know how it feels and I'm here for support. Lisa S.

GEES its like reading my life right here. Im right there. I finially hit 185 and it was so great havent been here since 20 years ago but I cant move so what do I do I eat eat and eat I graze all night long. during the day Im ok its the night that kills me