Been taking a break (long post)

I am sorry some of you were concerned about me... I kinda took a break. Not just from the board, but from my post-WLS lifestyle. I just hit a breaking point. I hated having to think about WLS all the time. I hated feeling like I could not turn to food for anything. I hated feeling sick after I ate. I hated counting every calorie I ate. So, I stopped. I ran away from my "problem" and I ignored it. Now, let me tell you, this was a bad idea. I have been incredibly sick. Not just physically, but mentally. I still can only eat small portions... but I can certainly graze. And I had VG, so I can eat anything I want and not dump. But, eating all these refined carbs has made my body sluggish. I have been having headaches. Not to mention, I felt like crap for doing this. There has been a CLEAR difference from how I feel when I eat wise and when I don't. I have been making poor choices and my body knows it. I also have not dropped a damned pound in quite sometime. Now, let me profess to you how greatful I am for this gift of WLS. I added up the calories I have been consuming. Its still only around 1000-1200 a day. Which, for me is DOUBLE what I have been taking in... but still reasonable for a person of my size. So, even though I have failed, WLS has not failed me (not overall, just recently). But, I am here to say: I WILL NOT FAIL. I think that for me *personally* I had to take this break. I had to physically and emotionally find out what it was like to drop my plan/diet. To break all the "rules". I had to find out first hand what I would feel like if I regressed. Let me tell you; the past few weeks have not been fun. This all began by a few bad choices here, and a few bad choices there... and it was a slippery slope to down hill. Anyway, I am back. I am not going to make any outlandish promises of sticking to all the rules, because I might not. After having a meltdown and now that I have had time to reflect, I will say that I know now what it is like to rebell against WLS postop life and it is not what I will chose to do. Take Care, Mary ~~~***~~~ P.S. Tonight I bought a size L pair of pants and a M size hoodie. It still freaks me out, and I can not believe it. Seriously. It also was a nice motivator. I did not come this far to quit 50 pounds shy of goal. AND I am actually leaving tomorrow for a trip. My friends and I are going on vacation to Savannah, GA. Super excited. So I won't be on the boards for a few days. I will post when I come back.

Mary, glad to hear from you. We were wondering what was going on with you? Anyway, happy to know you're back on track. We're all gonna go off from time to time. It's good to know it doesn't work well for you. Have a great time in Savannah and have a happy thanksgiving. Karla 337/191/150

Hi Mary Nice to see you and to hear that you are OK. Have a wonderful vacatiion adn come back soon. Sending hugs, Ronna

Well Miss Mary, glad to hear you're doing okay. I know we all will or already have gone through this at some point. The important thing is that you put yourself back on track. Our doctors never said we would be perfect mentally or physically after this surgery. I think what helps me most is that I don't look at this like a diet. Because you either fail or succeed with a diet. This is my lifestyle change to eat normally, and that's what I've been doing. Some days, I wish I could forget I had surgery and eat whatever I want....eat it all! But I can't, so I eat a bite and I'm over it. But that's me, and it's different for everyone. Congrats on the loss so far, and have a great time in GA. I bet you'll all have a great time on vacation. Be safe. April

Glad you are doing well have a great holiday. TORI