Does your husband feel this way?

Hi all. My husband is great, very supportive and has given 100% of himself since having surgery a month ago. However, he worries about the way our life is changing. We used to leave the kids and go out to eat once a week...we're just starting to do a little of that but I'm quite limited right now as to what I can have. He feels a little down about it at times. We used to meet for lunch very frequently and just enjoy an hour together. Does anyone's spouse feel this way? I reassure him and continue to let him know that I am very limited right now but over the course of the next six months I will be incorportating more and more into my eating plan and things will be back to "normal"...sort of. If you count normal as smaller portions and eating healthy. It's going to be our new normal. Just curious. Kim

I think my husband is tirred of me being tirred. Im not working right now and I am still too tired to keep up with the kids and the house durring the day. Elsa

Hi Kim, My husband and I also use to go out to eat all the time but now instead of going out to eat and surrounding our life around food we have done other things. We have gone to the club to dance (good exercise) and to the movies. And, we have been discussing other things we want to go out and do rather than eat like we use to like go to friend's houses and play cards, dominoes, pool and any other things we can think of. See if he is willing to spend quality time doing other things rather than going out to eat (like long walks-we can do that now) during your lunch hour. ~Dawn

Hi Kim I am lucky enough to not only have a husband who supports me, but who is going through this journey with me. We both had RNY on the same day, preformed by the same surgeon. It's good because I pick him up when he's down and he cheers me on when I need it. Bridget

Kim; It was our 31st wedding aniversary on Feb. 3rd and we went away. At the resturants, I would eat soup, applesauce, soft eggs, or cottage cheese. We talked, and laughed. At first he felt bad because he was eating steak, and baked pototoes, but then I reminded him it was my discission to have this surgery, but I did not want our relationship to change. He has supported me 110%, and that is more than anyone can expect. He agreed, and we did have beautiful dinners, breakfasts, and lunches together that weekend along with alot of laughs and good talk. Good luck Karen

My husband feels the same way. We try and do other things. You can still go out for a date every week and just do different things. Go to a movie, bowling, or go out to eat and suck it up. I don't mean to be harsh, but that's what I did on Valentine's day. I ate some soup while my husband had a steak. I would say still meet him for lunch. Pack a nice lunch and one for you. You still get to meet and enjoy each other. Amy

Amy: I didn't imply that I am having a problem with this...the title was "Does your husband feel his way"? I have nothing to suck up as I am happy with surgery and the lifestyle of eating that I have adopted. I was merely making a point that he feels down about it. We enjoy many other things from shopping to just hanging out. Kim My husband feels the same way. We try and do other things. You can still go out for a date every week and just do different things. Go to a movie, bowling, or go out to eat and suck it up. I don't mean to be harsh, but that's what I did on Valentine's day. I ate some soup while my husband had a steak. I would say still meet him for lunch. Pack a nice lunch and one for you. You still get to meet and enjoy each other.

Its funnt you mention this situation, just the other night my husband was mentioning that he wants to go out to a reastaurant and how he really misses that.... I reminded him how much money and how much time we wasted eating out (not saying it wasnt enjoyable) For years I have wanted so badly for our date nights not to revolve around eating, I have always wanted to be more active and go do something besides sit down, eat and then go home....I told him we can eventually go out to a reastaurant but I dont want it to be the mainstay of our dates anymore--he laughed and said he will take our 6 year old out next week for dinner and I said thats great have some father and son time Ha He then followed by saying he looks forward to doing more with me when we go out then just eat a meal and talk so I am happy

Hi Kim, i agree with a few of the other posts regarding finding other ways to spend time together. My husband and I didnt go out much because he isnt much of a social person, but i often took my daughter out for special mommy and daughter days to lunch and dinner, now she doesnt understand(of course she is only 5) but I am trying to find ways to spend time with her that does not revolve around food. Along with having surgery comes a whole new way of life, and we need to help our loved ones understand this and find other ways to have quality time instead of just eating. Karyn

Hello all. Thanks for all of the support and some of the great feedback. My husband and I spent as much time doing things together as possible. I wasn't complaining about not being able to have lunches/dinners together, merely expressing his disappointment in something we used to enjoy together that is now put on hold for a while. I still enjoy sharing a meal with him, regardless of what he orders and what I order. We do things together as time permits; we have three children, my husband is full time active duty Air Force and is currently on his third term of his doctorate program. Proudly, I will be married to a professor someday. Time is something he doesn't have a lot of so we squeeze in whatever we can get. Gladly, we do other things together. I was just wondering if anyone's spouse or other half feels that sort of loss. Thanks again to all. Kim