husband problem

Ok My husband has been really good about everything up until this weekend. All of a sudden its"I am selfish and all I care about is the surgery and blah,blah,blah." I am getting so frustrated with him. He is sick right now and he is always a jerk when he is sick but when he asks whats wrong or something I tell him hormone and he tells me that there is such a thing as selfcontrol and I need to find it. Im sorry I just needed to vent. Michelle F

My husband has been to each extreme since surgery. Sometimes he is so proud, other times very callous, telling me he is tired of hearing about it. He even told me the other day, "You're beginning to look good enough I won't have to look at other women as much!' I know he was joking, but it still didn't sit well with me. Maybe it's insecurity? Sandy L

Eww...that comment would have brought on a boycot in the bedroom if you know what I mean!!!

That's EXACTLY what I was thinking! Great evil minds think alike!!! Susan

Is that when you gouged his eyes out? That way he won't have to look at all! Chele

You have to be careful to remember that men are like children. They want to be pampered, cared for, respected, and feel needed. When they see that we are going through a huge change for the positive and they aren't nor do they have any help with the change it can cause a lot of emotions to be stirred up. And that's another thing men have trouble dealing with...emotions. Try to find something that he loves and allow him to devote time to it (Ie: yardwork, model cars, carpentry). Then be sure to compliment him on occasion so he feels equally as special. Dawn

ooohhhh you are good!!

Michelle, I've seen a HUGE change in my marriage and I cannot say whether it's me or him! My DH has always been great to help with the children and chores with the house. We have been married 14 years. He is the love of my life. Sometimes I don't realize that. This weekend we spent a great time together (he got us a room with a jacuizzi tub and he was so supportive at my OH bama bash) and I have to say that thinking about it and not realizing until after yours and Dawn's posts that maybe it wasn't always my husband but ME. The post got me to thinking about my husband how he has been so good to me since the surgery - supportive - talkative- hospital stays. I am coming out of my shell more and communicating with him more like I use to. I am finding all the good things in life and realizing just how lucky I truelly am! BLESSED! I hope all works out for you and your husband!! We always have such good support here and I am lucky for that! Hugs, Julie

Michelle, When I was researching the surgery, I found that there is a huge divorce rate among people who have had WLS. One statistic I read was 90%, I do not have any proof to back that up. With that said, maybe your husband is feeling insecure, maybe he is not sure how he fits into this new lifestyle of yours, maybe he is jealous, maybe he feels threatened by your commitment to this new endeavor. If you can, when he is feeling better, talk to him about the root of that comment. I would not let this one go. Good luck and God Bless, Jen

HI Sorry about what you are going through. Maybe he is a little worried you will get done losing your weight and leave him. I have been with my husband since I was 14 I know so young but I have never been with anyone else he was my 1st and will be my only love we married in 97. He has been with me every step of the way he even likes to tell everyone how much weight I have loss. Everyone he works with has had wls or is getting it so they talk about it more than I do. I'll pray for you and your husband. Debra