Has WLS Made You Self Absorbed?

Good to see you back. Has WLS made me self absorbed? Nope--I'm thinking I have always been self absorbed. Actually, not really, but I am much more concerned with my outward appearance then when I was MO. I think that is a good thing though. Ya know I am thinking lately that MO was really a symptom of other problems for many of us. The surgery cures that symptom but clearly the problem gets manifested in other ways. Don't think I need to give examples--we've all seen plenty of that. Muah back at ya.

I believe in you. Tek KBT

Kiki, good to see you posting, miss you. I'm not sure if self absorbed is the word but I am obsessed with the whole WLS thing, and I wonder if I'll ever be satisfied of where I'm at and enjoy life without every second of every day thinking about WL. I'm really frustrated lately with myself, it seems every waking moment my life revolves being post-op, making the right choices, choosing or not choosing to exercise. My mind always focuses on the negatives I see about me, and not the positive, I think I'm sometimes . I want to get out there just one week and say hey, let me enjoy life and my newfound health and not worry about this and that. Oh well, sometimes I think counseling is in order, unfortunately my insurance won't pay for it and I can't afford to self pay. Hope you feel better. Hugs, Dana

I don't think I am self absorbed.....cause that would mean I would have to like and care about myself I am still not there. I hear you about worrying about the 5lbs more than the other 160lbs you lost. I am more pissed off and hard on myself now than I ever was at 300+ lbs!!! I too am in therapy tho I feel like I know each and every question that is ever asked, and exactly how to answer them.....I think I have also been over therapatized (is that really a word??) And again like you, I have been on every kind of pill imaginable.....I just gave up on the wellbutrin (generic) about two months ago and went back to some big gun pills......The surgery does help with the body becoming healthy, but who in the hell is supposed to help us with our heads ...I will check back on this thread and see what others have to say, as it is a very good topic to discuss.....and a lot of us seem to be in the same boat! "Due to cir****tances beyond my control " Now that is unfortunate We all need you here Glad to see you around again, you were missed Take Care jesi

Kiki, trust me girl when I tell you I so know how you feel. As you can tell from some of my other posts the depression wagon has been my mode of transportation lately. Am I self absorbed - yup, Am I going to change - probably not. Do I recognize that these things exist - you betcha - but I still manage to make some of that self absorption go away at times to get to the real meat of a situation. I've been pissed off for a while about the 10 pounds I allowed myself to gain and now can't get rid of it. I am scale obsessed (thus the self absorption with wls) and haven't felt the victory of all the flowing compliments that I use to have 1 1/2 years ago. All I can offer you darlin' is a shoulder....and a tissue....I believe in you. You're inspirational, you have lots of stuff on your plate and you're human above all. Take care.....

If you really knew me you would hate me! I am a frickin' force of somewhat loose skin and the battle scars of lap-RNY with a confidence level (some may say ego) that makes many crazy! I care about those I love...and recognize that I don't need to be loved by everyone else. As for the others...either they are with me or they aren't, and I move beyond. I love a challenge, especially when I am told something is not possible. I can do it. So am I self absorbed? Probably. I feel morbidly obese when I gain 2#. I will not wear clothes that don't look great. I won't go out of the house without looking completely put together. At times my husband has noted that he resents the time I spend researching WLS post op, and/or time spent on the OH website (vs. paying attention to him and his needs!) and yet I do it anyway (surf web vs. play royal king and lowly serf maiden). Yes, I suppose I am self-absorbed...I have too much spirit! Sending some overly inflated spirit your way, Pink Cheerleader Spirit Bear

Hey sweet stuff!!!!! ('bout frickn'time!) ....and YEP!!! - selfabsorbed LEI, front and center, here! For me, WLS has/can/does ...etc. Hell, how can it not, I feel like I "eat, drink, breath, sleep" weight loss surgery. Ive spent so much time researching it, learning it, living it, for over 5 years now - now add to that, the infamous "BOUNCE"! My thoughts are so damn wrapped around the axle over the (current) 10 lbs I've put back on. Im amazed at how often I allow my mind to dwell and focus on those 10 lbs! Because of that, I don't always allow myself to ENJOY the positives that came with losing the other 220 lbs. Yep, I'm too busy dwelling on the TEN!!!! I hate that I tend to be an "all or nothing" type of personality, but rather than fight who I AM, I'll try to use it to my advantage. Who knows - it might be what I need to remain focused and diligent. Ive spent many years "coddling" my weight gains and offsetting it with the fact that I have a freakn DAZZLING personality! ( , so I've always had a lotta confidence, yer' point?). ...next thing I knew, even the doctors scales didn't go high enough. I know this sounds lame, but it truly FELT like in a blink of an eye - I went from normal to extremely obese. I hate that this damn WEIGHT of mine will truly be a "forever" battle!!! It doesn't surprise me, but I sure don't gotta like it, but such is life and the scales I'm stepping on. Self absorption (as you said) might be MY saving grace? I know for me, 10 lbs becomes 20 becomes 30 when I don't focus more on ME. Maybe this time, we can twist our obsession over weight gain (your 5, my 10) just enough that it becomes a positive motivation in avoiding the inevitable gain(s) from our past? Anyway, it's GREAT to have you back, gorgeous!! ...Im on my way out the door but had to say hello, before I logged out!! ...Lei

Hey Friendgirl!!! I've been lookin' for ya.... I definitely spend more time thinking about my physical being than ever before!! Get this... I actually stand in front of the mirror naked, checking out different poses just to see how I look the thinnest and cutest!!! I'm a 50 year old grandma!!!! And since the tt, I am even worse.... but I am on cloud nine these days for sure!!! I see it this way.... I used to avoid myself and mirrors and feelings etc for most of my life because of my MO.... so I am due for some "me time"... I still love my people just as much as before... but now I take care of myself first (that includes self talk and self absorbed energy) and then share what's left... some days, there is not much left ... I too beat myself up over any slip up and any perceived "former fat self life style act", but really, I have to stop and think, consciously change my direction and say... that was then and this is now... stop acting that way!! Things are different cuz I am making them different. (I often listen to Bonnie Raitt's "I Will Not be Broken" song for strength) Then if that doesn't work... I go for a six mile run in the rain or shine and that usually clears my brain, exhausts my thinking and physical being... then I can resume my normal new self.... Hope that makes sense to ya.... It's a definite everyday struggle.... And I don't see that as self absorbtion... it's what it takes to fix the head and heart.... I see myself still in "recovery" from MO.... I am getting it right tho... Hope you are doing better.... go have some fun ... remember to exhaust your body thru some physical exertion before you call any shrinks..... Get your picture back up too... We miss ya.... Laurie - minus 186 lbs!!

Oh, Kiki, it's so funny that you posted this today. I just got an e-mail from a now-ex-boyfriend who says he thinks he would have liked me better when I was obese! He says I now have a chip on my shoulder and I'm totally absorbed in myself and my recent plastic surgery. I've decided I am too strong a personality for him, he wants a quiet, compliant type of girl. Well, he can go find her and she's welcome to him!! Just know that I'm with you in spirit as you deal with your issues. Hugs, Connie

I have been going thru a lot of mental crap too. I have decided that I prefer to think of it as finally giving to myself after all my life taking care of everybody else and meeting their needs while they basically did not even care if I had needs of my own. Is it self absorbed to want something nice for me? I don't think so. I think of it as a healthy attitude of treating me as well as I have treated everybody else over the years We have worked hard to get to where we are. when I fluctuate 5 pounds I ususally think of it as water fluctuations, but if I am in a mood and feeling fat it is because I know I became morbidly obese 1 pound at a time and I am not going there again god so help me. Hugs to you. I like you even if you dont like you. Now go look in the mirror and make a list of 12 things to like about you.