Deep down changes...

My husband and I had been drifting apart the past few years (we have been married 25 years in May and dated 2 years before that). I felt it was him mostly and the fact that he worked so much. I felt that he had put us on the back burner. I didn't feel important to him. Until...the other night we were talking. He told me how glad he was that I had the surgery. He said I looked so much healthier, my skin looks better my eyes don't lood so tired. He said he didn't understand why I didn't want him anymore and had thought that I was going to leave him. I really took this to heart and thought about it. I was the one that had changed. I was pulling away from him. The heavier I got the more my health failed and the more I didn't care. I didn't care about having sex or even kissing. I was telling myself I did and that it was him that didn't make the effort. But it was me! With that realization came a renewed sense of love. I realized how much I had let me insecurities and not feeling well affect our lives. I had to be the one to change. He was genuinly worried about me and our realationship. And my thought was that he was going to leave. I was fat and sick and why would he stay other than the fact that he felt obligated. That was not the case at all. I saw that I had really hurt him and never knew it. I have changed all that. What a guy to put up with all that and still love me no matter what. I have not lost enough weight for it to be a physical thing as far as attraction because I have lost weight. The only reason that I can see that we are like young lovers again is because I have had a deep down change. What deep down changes have you experienced? Leeanne

WOW, Leeanne, I just felt like I was reading from my own journal! My husband and i have only been together 6 years and things have been really bad this past year, not abuse or cheating, just drifting apart. Well we finally talked about it a few weeks ago, and I realized then that it wasn't all his fault! I was scared to death that this surgery would result in our divorce, but we have re-connected, and I now have hope for our future. thanks for posting that. Karyn

That is very insightful, Leeanne. What a realization for you! I don't know if I have experienced any deep down changes as of yet, myself. Chele

Leanne!! We have so mu*****ommon, girl!! YOU ROCK! I can't wait to meet you girl. Julie

Thanks Julie. I can't wait to meet you either! Leeanne

Leeanne that's amazingly insightful. Yes for many of us weight was a way to keep the world out. I know it was for me. I haven't had any major breakthroughs yet but then again, it's only been 3 1/2 months since surgery. Good luck to you and your husband. Hugs, Ronna

So there is hope for the size 12. That is very good to hear. I am considering plastics in the fall. I want to see if anything will come off this summer. I am 212 lbs right now. I do have a huge panni and the legs...well the massage therapist I went to made reference to weight loss as soon as she saw them. I don't want to be a 4 by no means....I don't think I would look right. But I do want to get close to that 150 lb normal range weight. Its great that you shared this information with me....it really does give me hope. Debbie

Aw, Leeanne: Your post gave me chills...the good kind. I am so, so happy for you! God bless! Jersey Mom

Leanne that's wonderful! Isn't it amazing what a good talk can do and how we need to have more of them with our mates? Even after several years of marriage we are all still getting to know each other in so many different ways. I am so happy to hear this about you and your husband. Karen S.

Awww Leeanne, I am so happy for you!!!!!!! I haven't had any like that... but congrats right back to you for everything