bummed & need to vent

I went to my monthly support group meeting today and I'm more than a little bummed by some very ugly comments and accusations that were made concerning my surgeon. He has recently resigned from a practice with another bariatric surgeon. The other surgeon says he has now decided to relocate because of this split. I had been feeling like I needed to find a different group mainly because I just didn't feel I was getting what I needed from this group. The majority of the group has had the duodenal switch so the main focus is on the issues and concerns of DS patients. There is one lady who had GBP almost 18 months ago and then there are 3 of us who are less than 5 months post-op. All 3 of us newbies used the same surgeon. I was the only person at today's meeting who used the "other" surgeon. Every month we have to listen to how much better the DS is; how people lose more of their excess weight with the DS; it's impossible to regain with the DS; yada, yada, yada. Then in the next breath we hear about the problems they are having. We hear about the bathroom issues, the gas, the odor and what products to buy to take care of them. It doesn't matter which surgeon you had. If you didn't have the DS the implication is that you were either denied the correct procedure by your insurance (if you chose the miracle surgeon) or you were talked out of having the correct procedure (if you chose the other surgeon). Either way you were to be pitied because you had the wrong procedure and you were going to fail. But that was okay too because the miracle surgeon does revisions. I swear these people think he walks on water! The facilitator made the comment today that Dr. Wonderful is leaving and "it is all Dr. X's fault". Another lady stated that it was all because of jealousy on the part of Dr. X. Then, to make matters worse, the great doctor himself came in and proceeded to talk about how this was all a conspiracy between the hospital and the other doctor and that it had been planned for some time. He said he had been threatened with lawsuits for harassment and that all of his employees had been fired. *I know for a fact that at least 2 people are still there from before the split. I am more apt to believe that the people who are leaving are doing so because they are angry about the split. I know that the group facilitator is. She said that she will never refer anyone to the 3 doctors who are now in the clinic. And, all three doctors' names are omitted from the "unedited" list put out on the website owned by the doctor who is leaving, even though they appear on the sites he references. He said too that these doctors have said they will not see any of his patients, even if one of them shows up in the ER. I'm sorry; I just don't believe any doctor would say something like that. Until today I have respected this surgeon. It was partly because of him that I chose to attend the seminar that led me to choosing their clinic even though it was out of network for my insurance. I am very glad I chose the surgeon I did. He never tried to influence my choice of procedure. He listened when I listed what I thought were the pros and cons of each procedure and answered any questions I had. When I told him what my decision was and why I felt like that was the proper procedure for me he supported my decision. I feel like if I had chosen the other doctor, I would have been steered towards the DS even though I know it would not have been the correct procedure for me. I know this even better having listened to others in the group discuss certain aspects of their post-op life. I feel like it was very unprofessional of this doctor to make the comments he did to the group today. I know there are always 3 sides to any story, side A, side B and the truth. There has got to be more going on for him to just pack everything up and move to the other side of the country. I have not heard one unkind or derogatory remark in regards to this whole split except from this doctor and the people closest to him. I am very disappointed in what I feel is his lack of professional ethics. I know this is long. I appreciate you all letting me vent. I will be sending my surgeon a letter about today's goings on. I feel he has a right to know what is being said behind his back.

JMO, but that doesn't sound like any kind of "support" group that you need. You need something, well, SUPPORTIVE! And, how unprofessional of the Dr. to makie accusations even if they were true. I am sorry you are going through this, but at least you have us!!!! Take care, Leeanne

A true support group supports everyone that attends, not just the ones that have had their choice in WLS. After all, we are all aware that there are pros and cons to every type of WLS. You need to find a group that works for you and from whom you get the support that you need. Just remember this board and the people that haunt it will always support you. I know because it is the only support group that I have. There just isn't another one in my area that is at a time that I can attend. Don't let anyone question your choice in type of surgery. You know yourself and what your needs were. If your surgeon had felt that it wasn't an appropriate choice he would have told you before you had it. Failure is a personal choice. We can either use the tool we have or we can ignore it. There is no type of WLS that cannot be eaten through, so just because they had a different surgery than you, doesn't guarentee their success. Keep up your good work and you will be fine. Hazel

I agree that this support group is not benefiting you and its unfortunate that the surgeons have parted ways and in such an unprofessional manner. The important thing is that you have confidence in your surgeon, what path you chose for the surgery and are in sync with his program. I would not return to that group, it sounds much more damaging than helpful. Our local support group fell apart because of the bickering amongst patients on surgeon technique and their own ability to change their lives as their bodies changed. The group successfully pushed candidates away from surgery and I no longer attend because its so depressing and vengeful. We're here for you!!

I appreciate everyone's responses. This board has become the one place where I feel completely comfortable discussing anything and everything, other than with my hubby of course. I am feeling better. The former (retired now) Chief of Staff at the hospital mentioned in my post above just happens to be in my Sunday School class. I had a very private heart to heart with him this morning about this whole situation. He assured me that he is very aware of the details of the situation and everything this surgeon said to the group is completely untrue. I asked him what I should do next and he told me I had already done it - I have told him. He said he is still in a position to have something done about this. He said he can't do anything about what the doctor has posted on the internet but he can certainly stop the other talk. He made sure he wrote down the name of the group facilitator who had made her own comments and accusations about the doctors in this practice too. He also assured me that my surgeon is a very fine Christian man and extremely talented surgeon. I told him I never had any doubt about any of that. Like I said, I feel better now having spoken with Dr. Bob. I know he will handle the situation properly. I do have another support group to go to. It's actually in the surgery clinic offices after hours. It's a new group though and I know it's going to take a little while for us to really blend and get to know each other. Everyone who was there for the first meeting was very positive and supportive of each other though. Thanks for listening. Susan

Peyton Place comes to mind! Or the Maury Povich Show! Sorry you are having to experience either. Teresa