You know better . . .but you test sometimes anyway. . .

Here goes - I'm not proud. . . Bless me fellow aprilers for I have sinned, Uggh, you know. . .even when you know better. . .sometimes it doesn't matter you still have to pu**** Me for example last night. Kettle chips. It was right before bedtime , I had eaten very little during the day (combination of stress, and work busyness, and failure to make time) I had a craving, I had the chips in my home, I ate them. Some chips would not be a big deal - HOWEVER - I had the distinct feeling of eating with my hand, mouth and brain instead of with my pouch! (WARNING, DANGER). It was then my privledge to get sick off of the surplus of chippies I had gorged into my little pouch - uGGH. . not comfy. So I was up until 1 puking. . . .which made me late to work. . . .uggh. . . . A better idea would have been not to eat a former trigger food in an unmeasured amount right before bed.(DUH) If I want chippies, I'll have to count out a portion. . .and be held accountable to them. I don't get to just stick my hand in the bag and pull out my heart's content. My desires got me to 400 lbs, and it is only by the will of my pouch/tool and the grace of god that I don't go back there. I hope I get this crap all figured out someday soon. I'm chalking it up to "D'OH - eat more during the day, so you aren't so hungry for crap at night" Best wishes to you all, ~Lara

Poor thing...I haven't pushed it...yet...and someday I might, but I applaud your ability to identify it, acknowledge it and accept where you went wrong. Also, for going the step further and realizing what you need to do the next time. Take Care,

Thanks very much Josie. I appreciate your support. Huggles, ~Lara

I've pucked twice. I have learned there are still foods I can't have at home. If I want chips I buy a small bag at work and eat them there. Or at someone elses house where I'm less likely to "binge". It is definetly a learning process. You are doing great! I think being able to talk about our mistakes means we are willing to do something different and make the changes we need to make for the long haul. Dianne

Lara Don't stress. We all have our lapses........Thank God our tool works so well......Just remember we are all still learning and have a lot more to learn......It looks like you are doing awesome......Keep up the good work and take it as a lesson learned!!!! Lori 231/138/135 and now 125 (new goal)

Lara, too cute all the message emoticans, loved it. I have found myself doing the same, not letting my pouch do the thinking for me. Just my my mouth, brain and hands. I feel terrible afterwards. I havent' pushed it so far as to actually puke yet but I definately have messed up, not making the right choice for my pouch and for life long success. Don't feel too bad. Just mark it up as experience and get back on track. Take care Mechelle

Talking about it here definately helped. Also, I took it to my therapist - and I had a breakthrough. I was able to understand more about the root of my issue with food. This surgery is powerful stuff. . .as the pounds come off I am finding myself without my old self-lies and denial to hide behind. I am finding the real me under all this excess weight. . .and I LOVE HER!!! Thanks so much for all your compassionate responses - I love this site! ~Lara

I have to applaud you for talking about it and not just sitting back and pretending it didnt happen...very brave!! Keep up the great work! Shanna

Lara- Thanks for sharing... Honesty is so helpful to us. I've been there- I've pushed it many times... though I've never thrown up, I've come close. Chips definitely make me feel ill though... I stay far away... if I have to, one bite.. Beth -142, 41 to gooooooooooooo!!