I Can't Do This Anymore!!

(I cross posted this to main board as well) I had RNY surgery 4 1/2 months ago and have had complications, as some of you know, that have landed me in the hospital 50 days in a 2 1/2 month time frame. It has been a very frustrating ordeal for me and my family and I just want it to end!! The last time I was in the hospital, they sent me home with a prescription for Dilaudid just so I would be able to eat and drink without pain. I have had to get several more prescriptions for my pain meds since then as well. Now my pain is getting worse and doesn't just happen when I eat or drink anymore. Add to that nausea, regardless if I have anything in my stomach or not, vomiting and diarrhea. AND the place where I had my G-tube has started hurting again awfully bad and that was taken out over a month ago due to it becoming infected!! So I went to my surgeon's office about all of this on Tuesday. Well, my surgeon is not willing to follow me anymore about this pain issue and wants me to go to a pain management clinic. That's understandable I guess, and then reality smacks me upside the head..........I have to DRUG myself OUT just to be able to consume anything. How absolutely crazy is that? I have lost 100 pounds in 4 months and yes, that's great........but at what cost? I swear that after I lose another 100 pounds and if I'm still like this, I'm GOING to get this surgery reversed. I can't continue to keep living my life like this. It's not fair to me and it's not fair to my family. I'm tired of pretending like everything is ok. I'm tired of saying I feel alright when I don't. I'm looking at being hospitalized again VERY soon. I'm not really eating or drinking anything. I don't even want to either. They've supposedly gone in there and fixed everything that needed fixing and taken out everything that needed to be taken out............So then WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH MY BODY??? I just want someone to fix me!! Thanks for letting me vent. This has been such an overwhelming and frustrating time for me and I'm having a really hard time with it. I've tried to be strong.....and I have been......but everyone has their breaking point. I think I've reached mine tonight....... Allie

Oh Allie, I'm so sorry hun. You've hung in there a lot longer than most of us would have. I don't blame you for reaching your breaking point... I can't even imagine the struggles & pain you've had along this journey. Have you thought about switching doctors? Maybe you need to get a second oppinion or a better doctor. And considering all the complications you've had I would definately reverse the surgery if I were you. I don't think I'd wait till I lost another 100-lbs either. If you're not eating like you should be then you risk other dangers like malnutrition or severe vitamin deficiencies. Do what you have to do to get better... if it means a new doctor or reversing the surgery then go for it. You should be proud of yourself for hanging in there as long as you have and for the 100-lb weight loss. Now it's time to think of fixing things so you can go on with living your life. My prayers are with you Allie. I hope you find a solution soon.

Thanks Lisa!! I'm actually going to write my story and send it to several GB surgeon's and see if any of them can help or may be able to tell me what's going on. I'm desperate for answers. The reason why I want to wait for 100 more pounds is because I think I'll be in a safe zone as far as my heart is concerned. My weight was really screwing up my heart and I really need to get an extra 100 pounds off before I feel it would be safe from a cardiac standpoint to reverse the surgery. Then I would only be 64 pounds from goal and I can live with that........may even be able to lose that on my own. Allie

Allie, I am so sorry to hear you are still struggling. I agree with Lisa..........get another opinion from another surgeon. Something is wrong and youras is not handling it. Also, if I were you, I'd get a copy of the surgical report......just to see exactly what went on. Although, any mistakes might not be stated.But the report will be helpful for any future doc you go to. Yes, the 100 pounds is fabulous......but at what expense to you? I hope they find a solution fast. hang in there. We are all here for you Shar

Thanks Shar! Ya'll have been so good to me throughout this whole ordeal!! I wish I could hug every one of ya! I'm going to write my story and send it to several GB surgeon's and see if anyone can help me or may have a suggestion as to what's going on. I'm desperate for answers and I want to be normal again! Allie

Allie, I am so sorry that you have been thru all of this. Our journeys were suppose to be happy ones and I know that yours has not been happy. I will keep you lifted up in prayer that God will touch your body and make it possible for you to eat without pain. I know that you are feeling frustrated, just remember that we are all here if you ever need to vent. Keep your chin up. Cindy

Thanks Cindy! It's not so much that it hasn't been happy, but that it's been so frustrating!! I can't wait to get to a point where I'm NORMAL! Soon...........hopefully soon! Allie

Allie, I am so sorry that this is still happening to you. You need to get your surgical file and all medical records and contact another surgeon. I truly think a second opinion is called for here because your current surgeon no longer wanting to assist you just isn't the right option and isn't at all understandable. This surgery should never be causing these problems and complications at this level without an answer, and waiting in pain to drop another 100 pounds isn't fair to you either. Please, seek a second opinion, you truly are a strong woman, but you are right, everyone has a breaking point. hugs, Inky

Alllie; I agree with everyone else. A fresh set of eyes needs to go over your files and may have some new solutions. I am sure your Dr is frustrated because he's done everything he knows how to do. Now, lets see what someone else can come up with. There has got to be a solution out there. I do not blame you a bit for being frustrated, exhausted and fed up. DO what you need to do to take care of yourself. You have all of our support 100%.

Thanks Sharra!! I am going to send my story out to several GB surgeon's to see if anyone can help me or may know what's going on. Hopefully soon I can have an answer and be on the road to being normal! Allie