People's Reactions

I had dinner with a friend last night. First, she walked past me. I have seen her one other time since my surgery. She went on and on how wonderful I looked. Amazingly, she said "you surely don't want to lose much more. You're almost done." WHAT???? I weigh 238 pounds! How the heck am I almost done? I had another firned say that to me, too. She thought I only needed to lose maybe 20 pounds. Are they blind? When I told them I wanted, and needed, to lose another 67-97 pounds they almost fainted. What is wrong with people?

I know how you feel. I haven't had anyone tell me I have lost enough yet, but they keep saying I need to slow down. Then when I tell them I have another 80 lbs to lose they are shocked. There is another girl at work who had the surgery 2 yrs ago and they use to say ALL the time behind her back that she was too skinny and looked sick. But I think it is because they're so use to seeing us heavy because I thought she looked great. Do you notice people watch what you eat and ask you if it's okay that your eating certain foods??

I haven't heard that yet for sure!! I have a long way to go also!! But I did have one the teachers from my kids school come up to me and go you look different did you cut your bangs or something I said no i lost 100 pounds and started laughing! Now when ever she sees me she gives me a big smile and says hi. It is weird to not only lose weight but I am no longer invisible!! I am going to right a book about it one of these days for sure!!

Its funny how our friends react to our weightloss. I personally am getting embarrassed by all of the comments i receive. Dont get me wrong, its flattering to hear remarks on how good i look....but i never have taken a compliment well and it's embarrassing to me when someone says something out loud, in earshot of several people. I want to cringe and hide! I dont know why...i know they mean well, but im not sure i want everyone to know i had surgery, yaknow?? For example, at work before every biweekly management meeting my boss will always make some sort of comment (in front of all of my colleagues!) about my weightloss and what im eating, or NOT eating (we have lunch at these meetings).....also, i have friends that will come up to me (really loud) and shout, "omg sharyn! You're getting too skinny!" or they will call me "skinny minnie" and honestly, its embarrassing to me! I know they mean well though so i just smile and say thank you....and if i even suggest that i have more to lose, they go nuts. I was picking up my clothes from the drycleaners the other day and the owner says, 'Have you lost weight?" ....i just asked him a question regarding my bill to change the subject, but of course he asked again. I smiled and said yes and then he proceeded to ask me how i lost so much. Now i realize this is a common question we will receive but if someone changes the subject, wouldnt you get a clue and realize the person is embarrassed and doesnt want to discuss this?? Well noooo....he, along with many, will continue to as****il i finally admit to gastric bypass and then i have to hear them all begin *****ing about how i didnt weigh enough to have that surgery and blah blah blah. Im telling you, i cant wait until people dont notice anymore. I love the weightloss, but i definitely do not like the attention and everyones "advice" once they find out how i lost all the weight. Its frusterating. Wow, apparently that was bothering me. lol Thanx for letting me vent Shar

Sharyn. If you don't want people to know about the surgery, don't tell them. The truth of the matter is.you lost weight because you have cut down on your food intake. They don't need to know the tool you have. I also get embarassed about the compliments, but, I love it, too. I am proud of myself and my accomplishment. We all should be. I find it hard to say that I have lost 107 pounds because then it makes me realize just how humongous I was. Shar

I have been getting a lot of similar reactions. Now that my Dr said I need to lose 40 more lbs I think I agree with them. I think the 25 lbs is reasonable, I still have some fat pockets left-but not many. My husband keeps teasing about how he is getting bruised by my bony hips and rear! My advice on the compliments is to just look at the person, smile and say thank you. No more comment is needed. This stops them from going on and on and you have acknowledged it. I have been having trouble realizing that I am getting flirted with. Harmless stuff, doesn't mean anything but I am oblivious and then later I realize what it was. Its pretty funny that I am so rusty in the flirting dept. Definitely invisible no longer. As for food, I just tell them I am on a restricted diet and cannot eat fat or sugar. I hope this helps!!

You're right Shar, i shouldnt feel obligated to tell them the "whole" story. It's not that i want to hide it, im just embarrassed to talk about it and i almost always have to hear their opinion of gastric bypass, and its almost always negative. I realize they dont mean any harm though and most people are just ignorant on the facts. A long time ago gastric bypass was much more dangerous and they just get worried. My boss actually thought that i had to go "throw up" after i ate any food. He thought that is what the surgery did. He was surprised that i havent gotten sick once since surgery! He was definitely misinformed, as many people are....im sure. Maybe i will keep my tool to myself unless i feel like someone is truly interested in how they too can lose weight (if they have a lot to lose). Thanx Shar Hope you had a great weekend!

Thank god i'm not alone! i've been getting all of those reactions as well. My frustrations are now being expanded to the customers I interact with. I work at a casino, and customers that I have never met before, come right up to me and say "so and so told me that you had gastric bypass. Can you tell me about it?" OMG, I would never walk up to someone that I didn't know and just blurt out something like that! Sometimes I feel like I am the resident WLS expert on property. I wonder how long before people won't notice anymore?

Shar, I know it's strange. People tell me that all the time. But, I think that it's because they are not used to seeing us at our new weights. Also, I was talking to my aunt about my surgery, and she told me that she would have never guessed in a million years that I weighed 288. Even at 228 she says I don't look like I weigh that much. I think some people carry their weight differently. Maybe you are just one of those people that others think there's no way that you still weigh that much because you don't look like it. I wouldn't worry about it. Take it as a compliament and show them what you can do. They will be proud of you when you are done. Keep your chin up. Tiff

Isn't it funny though! I went to church yesterday and I was told I looked really thin and if I lose more weight I will blow away. I just smiled at her. Yeah like that is gonna happen at 195#. I agree that some people carry their weight differently than others and for that I am grateful. I heard that when your body reaches it's weight loss goal it stops. So I am just gonna sit back and wait for that day.