today is a little better: B-cereal and milk L-orange slices and a sb pizza S-1oz almonds D-this is what scares me, dunno yet? S-depends on the damage of dinner.... Candy 40oz H2O so far sadly no exercise but thinking about a stroll on the nature trail later with Terry and Chandler

Just wanted to chime in and agree with you wholeheartedly! Yes, we do need the scale - I guess ultimately... BUT doesn't it have a huge and innappropriate POWER in our lives???? I weigh every day too and see the same interesting lack of a predictaable pattern !! Goes to show me that the scale also is only a " TOOL ". Giving us an approximate gage of weight - loss or gain. How I long to get the ALMIGHTY SCALE off the THRONE !!! Not sure how, tho ? P.S. Wishing you wonderful success with your upcoming TT, You lucky girl !!! Be prepared for the initial swelling everyone seems to experience because after it goes down you will be looking for a safety pin to hold up those baggy jeans....or better yet, shopping for some 'skinny jeans' ! Hugs, Mary

Thanks Jen for your post and for being a part of our support team We appreciate you alot ! I like your RRRRRRs Jen. I was sitting at my pcp's office Tuesday waiting for my appt. and began to reflect back. With my doc passionately urging me to fight the ins. co. I fought hard for three long years. Wrote every elected official representing us in local and state govt. and even the Maryland Ins. Commissioner and Maryland State's Attorney. My last battle concluded with a final denial the Friday before my surgery May 24th of 05'. I am not especially gifted in confrontation but became willing to take on whoever was necessary to fight and earnestly appeal for my approval for this wls. The fight was hugely time consuming and exhausting really. It takes so much energy and attention to write tons of letters and read every article that could help my case and copy and attatch without becoming so overwhelming to the reader they would chuck it all due to the volume. ....Well as I sat and waited and thought of this past year and all the changes that have occurred I found myself deeply grateful. These are some of the things I reflected on: ------------------------------------------------------ 1. Three weeks ago I was able to get off ALL blood pressure meds ! ( I was taking 6 a day prior to wls, ) Blood pressure is NORMAL !!! 2. I was also just recently able to get off the Protonix for the reflux. ( even tho the surgeon repaired the hiatel hernia during wls, I still had reflux till recently) 3. My husband is totally tickled pink to have his wife back - so healthy and energetic and alive now !! ( seeing his joy in me deeply touches my heart and makes me realize how much my obesity and co-morbs affected him adversely, yet, he loved me and stood by me anyway ! ) 4. Prior to wls every system in my body was compromised. I was on 29 Rx meds a day not counting pain meds or muscle relaxers for the Fibromyalgia !!! 5. Now I am only on 5 !!! ( Can the Insurance company, who denied my coverage for wls SEE how much they are saving in RX Meds??? ) We are talking THOUSANDS of $ a year ! 6. I reflected on my struggle with SHAME that I have only lost 90 lbs. Worrying that my pcp would be disappointed with me. Which thank God he was not ! 7. I decided that although my journey of weight loss went rather slowly - that I am so much freer to have 90 lbs gone. 8. With the recent visit of 6 of my grandchildren I was so happy to feel well and be so alive and active so I could keep up with them and express to them my absolute delight in them. ( and they enthusiastically expressed their joy and love - right back to me ) 9. I thought of how consumed I was with the appeal till just days before the surgery and how that limited me in some ways in being more consciously prepared mentally. * Partly because I was frantically trying to pull $20,000.00 out of the hat PRIOR to surgery to get the $8,000.00 discount from the GWU Hosp. for pre-pay discount. 10. I reflected on the fact that although the surgery is a fine help and 'tool' it is Me that has to make the choices in eating wisely or mindlessly. 11. How we are all struggling with establishing habits and slipping and re-establishing habits of wiser control and choices. Ever learning and forgetting and remembering and getting up and starting over again. 12. How much a necessity honesty and support are to our mutual growth and healing process. 13. How grateful I am also for the Mayers who are so welcoming and non-judgemental and ever supportive in every way. Being mutually accountable, Encouraging us and exhorting us and even instructing us with articles and information to make our journey one of joy and discovery and enriched health. Thank you one and all for your part in making this a safe and welcoming place to drop in and be accountable and get hugged and loved real good ! Mary -** who IS Rejoicing to be Free !!!

Reading my daily meditations book for eating disorders { OA for TODAY } , I came across this: --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Cursed be the social lies that warp us from the living truth". - Alfred Lord Tennyson "Come now, one bite can't hurt you." It can if you struggle with compulsive overeating. If I believe the well-meaning people who understand nothing of my affliction, I may be a lonely audience of one - to the outcome. If I can learn so many things through pracitce, I can learn to say NO. Until then, I may have to give up old friends, old places, old activities. It is called going to any lengths. For Today: I am always aware of who I am and what my limitations are. I can turn down food and drink that may be dangerous for me as easily as I can get out of the way of a speeding car. What do you think?

I must say - UGH!!! I ate McDonalds last night. There was nothing for me to through together to take on the road for dinner and my last snack. The kids we're "starving" when they got off the bus and we had to leave right away. I felt aweful about it, knowing even as I was driving that I wouldn't have time to go out of my way and get something at a real store to eat. This morning I get up and what do you think the scales said to me??????? I LOST 2 pounds!!! I'm honestly NOT even going to try to figure this out!!!!! B - hot chocolate w/ protein S - will be oatmeal L - going out wtih friends, so probably a chicken salad or something. S - SB breakfast bar D - no clue, I've got to get groceries today too Water - we're even out of bottled water. But I stopped and bought two on my way home last night so that will give me 2 liters (whatever that is****il I get groceries Vits - on my schedule to day to work on tweaking the vit schedule Exercise - going walking as soon as the bus picks up the kids