I'm so sorry you're going through all of this. I know none of it will be easy. Please lean on us for friendship and support. Hang in there!

Ahhh honey.. what a tiime in your life.... when it rains.. its pours... Sorry about the divorce... however as hard as it is to get thru...sometimes its best. When I divorced my first husband even tho things were horrible (we were NOT friends--long story) I was still depressed and felt like I had failed... Its tough no matter what. Sorry about your bike friend... makes us face our own mortality... I love to ride but it does make you think twice... As for your eating... Im glad you recognize the signs... you need to stay healthy for you and for the kids... that is your FIRST priority.... Its a fine line. Hugs for you sweetie... Karen

Hey all, just checking in to see what's up... My life is unrecognizable right now, and I've been wanting to put this out there but for some reason have hesistated... Aaron and I are going to divorce. We've been talking since Friday night and have decided it's what's best. We can't make each other happy. We aren't fighting, there's no anger, only sadness. A lot of sadness... Aaron needs more emotional support than I can give him, 24/7, and he feels lost and displaced if I'm not on it all the time. I can't operate like that 24/7 and when I get tired and slack off, it hurts him and I become resentful. This is something that's always been an issue, our entire relationship, something I recognized when we married but chose to ignore thinking it would go away, or get better, or didn't matter. Well, it didn't go away, or get better and it does matter. I can't give him what he needs to be happy, and he can't give me what I need to be happy and we want to part before we begin hating each other. We're still friends and want to remain friends so that Livvie will grow up knowing her parents love and respect each other, not in a house where there's bitterness and resentment. Rick's family removed him from life support yesterday. He was on both a ventilator and a feeding tube and they took him off both around 11am in the morning. As of 5:30 last night, he was still alive, still breathing, just enough. They expected him to go sometime over the course of the night. I'm pretty sure I'll never get on a motorcycle again. I know what can happen on bikes but until I saw him in the hospital, and his family and what they've been through, I didn't realize... They are all fine. His daughter, Randi, is so strong. I'm so, so proud of her. They made the right decision and she knows it... I'm still losing weight. Down to 145 now. In my head I know I don't need to lose any more. I know that if I lose much more, I'm going to start getting sick. I can't help but love to see the scale keep going down. Every morning I get up and go to the scale and on one hand, I'm thrilled to see the weight lower but on the other, I feel sick to my stomach because I know I'm not being healthy about it. I restrict my eating quite a bit. If I'm hungry, I deny it, even though I know I should eat, because I really like seeing the scale go down. I'm keeping an eye on this, I've begun seeing a therapist to help me deal with things going on at home as well as some pretty significant pressures at work. In addition, she's familiar with WLS and we've talked about my eating and scale issues and we're going to keep an eye on it. I'm okay, all things considered. I'm very sad. And very tired. But okay. I also recognize that I have a lot of things going on that could really do damage to me, emotionally and mentally, if I'm not careful, which is why I'm seeing someone about it. I can't afford to fall apart right now. I've got too much to keep in the air. I guess I just wanted to put all this out there, to share this with my friends. I probably won't be around much in the coming weeks, with school and work and PS coming up, my spare time right now is devoted to my family even more than ever. I do lurk and keep tabs on everyone as much as I can, though. I hope everyone is doing well... Talk to you later, BS

If you talk to her, please let her know that we are all thinking of her!

Kathy, Thank God I stumbled in here tonight. I have been so very depressed today after finding out that I have gained five pounds. OMG.. I swore this would never happen. I decided this is a new and better day and I am going to give this all I have. I cant let myself go back to where I was before. I dont ever want to be that sad Laura again. I am sitting here with tears streaming down my face full of so many emotions. So greatful that I found this group at this time and so scared.. So scared that I could wake up again and be 320 pounds. I need all the love and support I can get right now and This seems like the place that I reallyh need to be right now. Starting today ( well actually yesterday) 11/6/2006 I began writing down everything that went into my mouth again. I started drinking more water and have vowed to begin working out again. I had been faithfully swimming at a local hotel and working out on their equipment until money got tight. I hope and pray to find a way to get that $30.00 a month so I can get back to my water aerobics. Please pray for me to be able to find a way. I am cutting out all snacking that is unhealthy. No more chips, sugar free candy or diet soda. I want to be down ten pounds by the time I attend the OH conference in Columbus Ohio on the 18th of November. I want to be feeling better about my life and my self control. I will start journaling and getting in touch with why I was overeating again. Thank you so much for this challenge.. I think you just might have saved my sanity and my life again. Love and Hugs Miss Laura from Ohio..