To tell or not to tell ??

I was curious about Post-op'rs. Did you tell everyone you were going to have the surgery? I feel I need to explain ahead of time. When people see that you have lost weight, are you compelled to offer up that you have had the surgery? Is it lying if you just take the compliment without an explanation? I think I have told everyone.... I am really excited. But should I start holding back? or is it a bad thing not to tell.
My issue is I am a very open person and don't know if I could keep my mouth shut anyway. Anyone have thoughts or advice?

Amber

I think Amber the best advice to give you is that you have to do what you are comfortable with. I told people I had surgery and I still do to this day. Back when I had it (almost 7 years ago) there were not a lot of people around here who had had the surgery. I think mainly because there was not a doctor around here who did the operation.

I think now a days it is almost part of the norm when people lose massive amounts of weight actually. I also think that less and less in restuarants are they so like what didn't you like your meal or what because of the growing community of people who have had wls.

I think it is great that you feel like you have to tell everyone actually. To me it shows that you are out there prior to surgery and have a committment to this surgery.

Don't worry about what others think either because it doesn't matter. It does matter how you process what is going on and if it servers you to talk about it...then you go right ahead!

Congratulations for taking the right road to becoming a healthy person!!!

BTW....Dr. Suh....well you are in good hands! Also so you have some good people up your way for support too!

Hi Amber
I thinkit is a personal choice...but for me - I told everyone because I was so excited to change my life - and to this day when people ask how I lost all the weight I tell them for sure....I am proud of what I have done and I want to shout it from the roof tops and tell every overweight person that I see that they should look into WLS...of course I don't, but I sure would like to.  It is a life saving thing to do and it is definitely not an easy way out like some ignorant people think.  I believe if  people think that this is the easy way out that they are uneducated in WLS and need to do some research...and if they say "oh thats the easy way" well then to hell with them...

So, do what you feel right about doing.  ANd good for you for taking this giant step to save your life....

GOod luck on your journey....

Hi Amber,

I agree with the other ladies it is personal.  Me, I am a teller.  I am proud of what I did for me, and if they don't like it is their problem.  I had one person tell me I cheated.  I said yes I did cheat myself for a very long time and then I decided to have surgery and a new life.  She was quiet after that.  lol.

So tell who you wish and don't you don't want to .  Know in your heart that probably the best thing you have done for yourself in a very long time, maybe even the first.

Rhonda

Hi Amber,

I told family and close friends that I was having the surgery, and once the weight started dropping off, I would also tell anyone who asked me how I managed to lose the weight.  I agree with Rhonda's response to the person who said she was "cheating."  I cheated myself out of a healthier life by not doing this sooner.  But take the easy way out?  Heck no, everyone here will tell you it takes work and committment to make this successful. 

If you are comfortable with telling people, do it!  The more informed people are about this process, the better and hopefully will educate the ignorant that this is not "cheating" or taking the easy way out.

I wish you success and happiness in the choice you have made!

~Naomi

Hi Amber
First off. Contratulations on your upcoming surgery..you are exactly 1 week behind mine ^_^   We can travel the road together!

Second, I told my co workers obviously, had to in order to get the time off. Secondly, I told my carving groups because they only see me once a month and I didn't want anyone thinking I was sick. We have just lost 2 wonderful friends from cancer and I didn't want anyone thinking I had become ill.  I finally talked to my husband's family after he couldn't keep his mouth shut LOL  They are all in Washington state and he went up for a visit..and just had to bring everyone up to date on what we have been doing and what we planned for the future.  I also think it is a very personal issue; you know who is going to be supportive and who is going to be giving you 'grief'...my answer to those people is: this isn't about you, it's about ME! And I wanna LIVE'

I will be thinking of you and praying for a speedy recovery and an uneventful surgery.  Hop on board the wonderful ride..we can share the Loser's bench with all the rest of the wonderful people on this site ^_^
{{{HUGS}}}
Nancy aka Sunray

I told everyone. It was just easier that way.

When people complement me on my weight loss, I just say thanks though. I figure every comment doesn't require an in depth response.

But if they ask me how I did it, I do include WLS in there (along with exercise and a high protein/low carb diet).

I told anyone who would stand still long enough to hear me.
There are many who would not tell anyone. At some point you have to say something...otherwise people will wonder if you are ill with cancer or similar. NOBODY loses weight that fast without some sort of medical intervention, especially if you have been obese for a very long time.
People who did not know me well, like my patients (I am a mammographer), sometimes think I am someone different now. One gal actually said,"What ever happened to that fat blonde girl?" I reply, "Oh, she is here somewhere," as I pull back my dyed brown hair. LOL

Amber,

I chose to tell most but did not tell others and this is for personal reasons.  All of my friends, my neighbors, my co-workers and my husband's family knows.  I am an only child and chose not to tell my side of the family and at some point may.  At this point, should they ask, I will simply tell them I am eating much less and exercising much more, both of which are true statements.  I would love to be open and honest with them but they draw such drama into things, that I just feel at this point, this is all about me and not about them.

Much of the time, I shout it from the roof tops to anyone who will listen and they are so caring and excited and interested. 

Best of luck with your upcoming surgery too.

Hugs,
Barb

Thank you to everyone that posted. I so appriciate all the feedback. I just needed a little validation from my OH friends.  You all are great!

Amber