A negative experience!

Yesterday I went to the lab for some blood tests and the girl who drew my blood told me that she was 4 years out from GBRNY.  It had come up in conversation that I was taking whole vitamins now and she about flipped.  Her doctor, she told me still would not allow her to take whole pills.  She insinuated that my Dr was very wrong.  I have had very little problem taking my whole vitamins, they have been going down a lot easier than the chewables. 

She then proceeded to tell me that 60 percent of WLS patients fail, and told me that she was a failure.  Well, I could kind of tell that but I didn't want to ask her.  She was so negative about the whole thing.  I asked her who did her surgery and when she told me I remembered going to the support group meetings when I first was interested in this.  At the meetings they would say, whatever you do don't let _______________ do your surgery.  Well, this lady's problem may have not been doctor caused at all, it just may have been her own perspective. 

I walked out of that lab wondering, just what was her purpose in making sure I knew she was a failure.  Nothing I said even seemed close to cheering her up.  I did leave however, more determined to never have to say that I was a failure.  I've got to be successful at this, it is my life that I am protecting.

~Blessings~
Pauline

Hi Pauline -

I too am so afraid of failure!   I have not yet had surgery, nor a date set, but I have been approved by my insurance.   My hold up?  The doctor that saw me now wants an additional 5,700 dollars for things insurance won't cover.   I am currently looking for another surgeon in Northern California.

I know about 10 people that have had surgery and out of that 10 only 5 have kept the weight off.  It' s scary!   And of course people can tell if you are a failure or not - just look at me the yo yo dieter - I am like you, afraid of another failure.

Did you have surgery?  If so when and how do you feel now?

Thank you - and continued success!

Potata

Hello,
My surgery date was 3-2-09 so I am not that far out.  I don't think I am really afraid of failing yet, it was just her response to me that I was not ready for.  I have spoken to quite a few people that have had the surgery and none of them previous to this lady had told me they regretted doing it, and this lady said if she had it to do over again she wouldn't. 

I really have too much to take care of right now and to focus on, I have not had time to think of failing.  Between the vitamins, protein, fluids, exercise and some very fluctuating blood sugars, I am trying to stay above water so I don't end up in ER.  But, can't say I've even once thought I would have been better off not doing it.  Oh yes, I have had the days when I wondered what in the world have I done to myself, but the difference in the scale each morning has kept that feeling in balance. 

I think to go into surgery with a "what if I fail" attitude is a little dagerous and is almost setting yourself up for failure.  Have a positive attitude!  Start operating your life as much as you can like you've already had the surgery.  Make different changes that will help you.  For instance, months before I had surgery, my husband and I stopped drinking soda all together.  It is better for you, even diet soda, because the carbonation expands your stomach and makes you think you are hungry.  Also avoiding the junk food aisle at the grocery is a good place to start.  You may have already started to do this, but I think you get my point.  Yes there are those that fail, but if the truth be told it is because they failed to work the tool given to them by the surgery. 

Sorry, I didn't mean to preach, but I wanted to ease you fears a little.  You can do this!  I know you can!!

btw, check out UC Davis in Sacramento, very good people there to work with!

~Blessings~

Pauline

Hi Pauline,

Those that fail are those that learn nothing.  Along your journey you should be paying attention to what foods you put in your mouth.  Your tastes change.  Sure a cookie here and there is ok once in awhile, but when it becomes a daily habit, nothing is learned.  I struggle everyday worrying about gaining a pound.  I have put on about 5 lbs, and I take it off, put it on, take it off, and I have been doing that for months now.  I constantly weigh myself, why, because I NEVER want to go back to where I was.  It was a very sad and lonely life I led.  I wouldn't go out, everyone stared at me, or I thought they did.  I lived in a very dark place, and I do not ever want to do that again.  That is enough.  It's your desire that keeps you from gaining.  I am an emotional eater, but I know that, so when I get to a point to where I want to eat, I will choose a piece of fruit, instead of chocolate.  I really feel, as I said, what you want the rest of your life to be.  I know what I want and that is why I work so hard at not gaining. 

Good luck, Diane

P.S.  From my 2nd week I have taken pills.  Not crushed up, whole pills.  Every doctor is different, and Miss Negativity should know that.

Pauline,

This first thing that came to my mind is jealousy! She is jealous cause she let herself fail. When someone is doing something good for themselves and the other person is jealous, they tend to say hurtful things to make themselves feel better. She may have failed because she didn't change on the inside. Don't let her get you down. This is a long, tough journey & we all need all the help & support we can get. You are right this is your life & you have to be responsible for you and not worry about other people.

Julie

You know, I think you hit the nail on the head because looking back at it now, that is just the way she was acting.  She almost got mad when I told her I was taking whole vitamins.  I should have prepared myself for this a long time ago, but the last place I would have expected a response like this would be the hopsital!  Oh well, you live and learn!  Thanks for your kind words, Julie!

~Blessings~
Pauline

There is always someone out there that has no problem being a negative nelly.  Don't Listen!  I take whole pills all the time and my little pouchy thinks they're just fine.

She failed.  She probably thought this was an Easy Fix and she could just skate along and eat what she wanted just in smaller portions.  Thus the Easy Fix.  What she failed to remember is that you eat smaller portions of the GOOD food and not just crap.

Blow her off.  She is just a small tiny little negative blip on the radar of life.  Pay attention to the POSITIVE feedback you get in your every day life and from all the people here on the boards!  And from your support groups.  There will always be someone out there with a negative opinion about anything and more than happy to share it with anyone who will listen.  The trick?  Don't Listen.  They're unhappy in their own life and therefore want to bring down anyone who is happy and they want to try and drag them down to the unhappy level instead of doing what is necessary to bring themselves up to the happy level.

We're doing great!  We made positive choices and decisions in our life and we are working the program to lose weight, be happy, be healthy and move better and live longer.  Don't let anyone sway you from the path you choose! 

Keep your chin up and BE HAPPY and follow what YOUR doctor tells you what to do and not some chick who isn't a doctor!

Maureen,
You are so right!  Couldn't have said it bettermyself!  Thanks for your reply!

~Blessings~
Pauline

"The greatest barrier to success is the fear of failure." I like this quote a lot because it's so true. I am STRONG believer that WLS surgery never FAILS... WE FAIL. We all have to remember and be reminded that we have to change inside in order to be a success. That lady is jealous and angry because SHE failed... not her surgery.

Take care and keep up the positive vibes. Don't ever let anyone put you down or let them steal your happiness. Everyone will have a different story, a different experience about their surgery. The bottom line- WLS is just a tool. What depends on your own individual success is YOU.

Hugs,
J

Jaimie,


I want you to know, I am jealous of you!  Only 3.7 pounds to go before you reach your goal!  I am sure I will get there, but it seems so far away!

I like the houghts you posted and much of what you said can help in any facet of our lives really.  So many things we set out to do, the outcome really starts with ourselves.  I like a quote I heard one time, "if it is to be, it is up to me".  We can blame others for our failures but it really comes down to,, pointing our fingers back at ourselves and putting the blame where it belongs.

Ok I am done talking about failure, on a more positive note, I lost 3 more pounds this morning and that is enough to keep me going!

~Blessings~
Pauline