How do you stay motivated & Addiction Transfer

Just wondering how y'all stay motivated?

I'm 11 weeks out from my RnY and have only lost 36 pounds.  I've gained and lost the same 3 pounds for over a month now.  I am not exercising (I HATE EXERCISING) but know I need to start.  I still have no hunger and am SO HAPPY about that. 

Some things I can eat two bites of before my stomach says "no way" and I have to throw it up, but other times and with other food I can eat two cups and still feel like I could pack in some more!  I do not dump so that's good, or bad, depending on how you look at it. 

I am having some problems with addiction transfer and have been over indulging in RUM.  :O(  So I cut that out yesterday.  It's a struggle because I'm in a home situation that is extremely trying right now and I'm very stressed and depressed.  I'm also a 41-year-old trying to conquer college... I do not want to become an alcoholic so I just know I can never have another drink.  I won't let myself get that bad....

I also drink from 1/2 to a cup of coffee a day and, two or three times a week I get a tall (medium sized) skinny (non-fat, no whipped cream) latte at Starbucks.  :O(

At only 11 weeks and I'm failing, so how do I keep exercising and keep to the food program?  At two and a half months I should have lost more than 36 pounds!  I know I shouldn't be eating any red meat or pork, but I have, more than a few times...  I'm flubbing this and I want to nip my bad habits in the bud now, before I completely ruin my surgery.

First off, save your coffee money for new clothes...Second, stop beating yourself up and do what you have to do to so as not to fail!! Walk , just walk, not only will it help you lose but it will help with depression and stress. At 41 going to college how wonderful is that!!?
Stop an look at it like this when have you ever been on a diet and lost more than 3 pounds a week. If you want to keep losing drink more water, walk and get in your protein.
I started eating ground beef and pork (lean both) even at the soft moist stage.
Stay away from the rum...my sister has almost killed herself with booze and wls. She didn't learn when to say when. I have wine from time to time but I do watch how often and how much.
If it the booze or stress or the depression gets worse go get help!! There is no shame in seeking professional help.
Good Luck
HUGS
JOY

Ok, from one lush to another, I have to say I know what you mean. I am 33 years old and I am having a problem with switching addictions. I used to eat to make my problems go away. But then I started with the shopping and that didn't help. Now I have discovered...Lemon Drop Martini's...Not a good idea. Too much alcohol & sugar. I am also a college student at 33 years old. I have been going through the phase of I need to party whenever I can, since I didn't do it in my 20's. And it doesn't help that I live in downtown Fullerton, the center of a college city with all kinds of bars & restaurants within walking distance. Stress is one factor, I do notice when I am stressed I want to drink. It just seems since I am a really fun drunk, that will mean all my problems will disappear. I know I have some problems that I have been hiding, and I need to address them. What about you? Have you thought of going to therapy? I made an appt once with a therapist, but got scared and cancelled. I am such chicken poo! I would define. stay away from the red meat. I don't eat red meat that much, I am really good at the protein but the Sf chocolate is my downfall. What's a girl to do?

Jules

First off don't beat yourself up.  Joy gave great advise and I stand with her when she says there is no shame in getting professional help.  May I suggest Overeaters Anoynomous?  They are a low profile group where you can talk about your feelings and get them out into the open.  Therapy is always good too and there is no shame in that nor anything to fear as everything is confidential.  There is also a group called Celebrate REcovery in Lake Forest that offers groups for eating issues and for drinking issues, sex issues, you name it they have a group.  They also have so many others group that are affiliated with them so you can look them up on the internet and then put your zip in and you can find a group in your area.  You are not failing you are in a learning mode and learning what you should not do.  Find an exercise that you enjoy.  Me I found hiking with a dear friend and I love it.  Window shopping is also good as long as you don't buy anything and walk the mall about 2-5 times!  lol.  Figure out what you love and then turn it into an exercise.  Good luck to you.

Rhonda

Hi there,
I agree with the rest, stop beating yourself up and start taking charge of your new tool.  It is a tool to help you lose wt., but you do have to use it correctly.  I'm not saying that I, or all of us for that matter, haven't flubbed up from time to time, but u just pick yourself up and keep going.  That is one of the biggest differences of wls and old diets, I could never just pick up and keep going.  You will be fine, just know you are still in a learning mode and just keep trying.  I am almost 4 mos. out and am still learning.  So hang in there and keep us posted.
                                                                   Hugs~Donna

I suggest you go to support group meetings. I would also suggest you follow your doctors guidelines. I'm sure you knew going into this that is wasn't going to be easy, and you probably knew you'd have to do some exercises, even walking....in order to lose any weight you need to nourish your body.

find your nearest support group and start attending.

Ditto to what has been said.  AA talks about one step at a time...even one moment at a time.  For you it could mean both drinking and eating.  Like Joy said...walk.  It really helps with the mind and the weight.  So many of us feel that "I've got get my exercise program togeather".  When really for the most part it can mean just walking further and further each day.  One step of front of the other...in more ways that one.  Brian

Hi there,

You have been given some wonderful advice by some wonderful people.  I would add to that, it really helps to keep me honest with myself by logging the food I eat.  I have been doing this using Fitday.com since day 1.  There has only been 1 day in 3 months that I ate over the alotted amount of calories that I should have, but you can best be sure I got back on the program the very next day and have never done it again.  Run has so many empty calories in it, that I bet it would surprise you if you added it up along with the food you are consuming.  I would get hooked up with a support group, AA and stick with the Cali board.  We are here for you almost 24/7 at no cost, so please post and feel welcome and loved.

Hugs,
Barb

First off sorry that you are going thru such tough stuff.  I can only reiterate what has been said. You need to get into a good support group. I also suggest that you find a therpist that deal with addiciton issues especially addiction transference.  This is  not uncommon either.
Best wishes for you.
Liz

Sorry to hear you are struggling ... But, this is exactly what this site is for.
Because I am new at this also,  and sometimes seem to have similar problems .... I plan to take some / all of this advise here.  It's all good because what you know for sure is ... Whatever you have been doing isn't working.    I suggest ... take all these suggestions.  .  Do anything ... Do everything.  You have got to get on a better track.  It will be hard because of course our bad habits are so easy to perform.  Find what tool(s) work for you.  GOOD LUCK ... don't give up.