Personality Changes... WTH people?!?!

Hello My Cali OH friends and Happy Thursday!!

I need to vent a little about something a co-worker said to me a couple months ago when they found out about my preparations for surgery and I've thought about it every day since. I know most of you don't know me from some Jospehine Schmoe walking down the other side of the street, but I have a pretty strong personality. I always have and my family/friends/co-workers have all said they love it.

So... I'm sitting at my desk one day working and a lady from upstairs sits in the desk next to mine and askes... "Aren't you afraid that you'll lose your personality?" Uhmmm Hello?!?!? Where the hell did that come from? I never realized surgery CHANGED ones personality. Seriously, I stared at her for like an entire minute. I'm sorry, but I was completely flabergasted by that questions so I couldn't think of anything else to do... So after that long period of time passed I said... "Hunny the only thing I'm going to lose is half my ass!" In turn she gave me a very puzzled look. I shrugged my shoulders and said... "What would make you think I'd lose my personality? I'm going for WLS not a labotomy."

I just found it to be a really odd question. I understand that my there will be changes and many of them, but how will I lose my personality? My sense of humor is beyond hysterical... ask my friends, they think I'm their very own laugh riot... and I'm sincere and caring... how is that going to change?

In a way I feel that it gave me a reality check to know that's what people are thinking more than I'm doing myself some good. Who knows?? 

Has anyone else had someone ask them that??

Thanks for letting me vent...

In some ways it does change, and I think everyone's experience is very different.  Will you become a totally different person?? Probably not, but the way you view yourself will change.  The way other people approach you will change....so in some ways the way you interact with the world will be a little different.

I grew up with the thinking that because I was fat, I had to 'try harder' to get acceptance, approval, friends etc.... So I became funny, outgoing, outspoken....maybe once you are thinner you may feel as though you don't have to 'try as hard' anymore. In some ways I'm content to be quiet and not say a thing. 

My coworkers have said that I speak up a little more. I don't know if that's true because I'm usually a little more outspoken. I am more willing to approach people and speak to them, especially single men... :)  So in some ways I'm more outgoing....or maybe I just appear that way because the world sees me differently at a smaller size. 

Sometimes its hard for me to even see that I've changed physically. I still see a really fat girl in the mirror...even when people compliment me I don't really see the same transformation they do.

It will be a very interesting journey that's for sure....I'm sure you'll be just as fabulous, if not more!

 

 

Awwwww, Monica!! Thank you!!!

I know that there are going to be some changes... especially in the way I see myself. I look in the mirror now and I can see a thinner healthier person, but I know in the long run I will always see THIS version of myself and I really hope I never forget what and where I came from! I don't think I ever could. I do know that with major weightloss some parts of my personality will change, but I don't see how having my innards rearranged will change my sense of humor. I truly think that the co-worker lady was referencing that... OMG maybe she thinks I'm a total ***** now and will be worse when I have the confidence of being a thinner person?? Who knows...

Even in my larger than life stage I'm sitting in waiting for surgery, I talk to everyone... including single men (I even danced with a hottie a couple weeks ago at the club!! YUMMY) and I try to put myself out there! I just think I'll gain even more confidence after I start dropping some of this excess body weight!


I cannot wait to be a fabulous version of myself!!! Wahooo

Monica, you rock! Thank you again for your response! 

Just like Monica mentioned, it may change....Mine did!  Yet, I don't forget where I came from and it's more positive than negative today.

I still care and am a sincere person but my outlook on life is so much more positive, I'm more open and frank, at work, I'm more assertive, etc....I have a whole lot more courage.

***NEWS FLASH***

Yes, I am scatterbrained and lose my train of thought when people interupt me in the middle of typing something out so I apologize if my thoughts seem uncollected. Blame it on my boss for asking questions!!! Hahahaha

I agree with both Monica and Gus..

You will not change who you are entirely, but there will be changes.. I am still new out, but know that I have a little more confidence now than I did 80+ pounds ago..  But I am still fun and have a great personality. (or so I think).

Don't let what she said bother you. Others are more fearful of Bariatric Surgery only because they don't know anything about it.. 

Just be yourself and all will fall into place..

Hugs,
Jenn

Hi there,

Monica & Gus are totally right! I had my rny on 1/16/2008 and thought I would never change, but lordy do you ever! I have changed in so many was. I was always the funny fat friend, not anymore. The way you see yourself changes. I used to hide behind my weight and now I have nothing to hide from. I sometimes look in the mirror and feel as though I have lost who I thought I was. I am having to find myself again. I know that there is so much in life that I missed out on, that now I want to do it all. One of the biggest changes I have made is my self esteem, I will be driving in a car and a guy will flirt with me..."total shock" that never happened before. It makes you look at life differently. When your standing in the middle of the room and you are no longer the big pink elephant, that is weird. I notice overweight people now and think...oh my..how and why did I let myself get that way.  This process is so much more mental than what people think it is. The food thing is hard, too. But the mental is the real struggle.

Julie

I think her questions is wonderful!  It really makes you think.  I am still in the process of loosing so I can only speak from that perspective.  I have lost over 100 lbs and I feel that I have changed alot.  Mostly internally.  I don't think less of myself like I used to.  I feel free.  I don't know if that makes any sense really.  I am still having trouble with my body image vs what size I really am.  I still question if I can fit in a booth (I can).  I worry if the seat belt on rides will fit (they do).  But those things are lessening and lessening.  I am an outgoing and strong personality also.  I don't think I have changed to the outside world but I sure have internally.  I also run, jump and play like a kid most of the time, where before I just couldn't.  I think though I am more open to other people and different types of personalities where before I would just walk away from unusual or different people.  Hard to explain, but I think I am taking more time to get to know people than I ever did before.  WEll that is my story and I am sticking to it.  Wishing you well.

Rhonda

I'll jump on the bandwagon and chime in that my personality did, in fact, change.  Although it is RELATED to the WLS, not a direct result.

As a result of the WLS, I reprioritized my life style values.  Exercise and eating right became much more important.  The exercise and the changed eating had a direct effect on both my weight loss and my mood.  I became a much happier person.

The happier I became, the more weight (well, actually size) I lost.  The smaller I have become (well, within limits), the happier I become.

The changed mood also has led to me swimming back in the dating pool again and, SURPRISE, I am having a GREAT TIME.

So, while I do agree the question was somewhat insensitive, it is a valid one and you shouldn't be surprised to find that your personality and mood does alter.

I also want to the caveat: during the weight loss mode, it's not that usual to be rather grouchy and moody in the beginning stages due to hormones which have been stored in your fat cells.  For the first month, I was *****y. 

Best wishes with the upcoming WLS and the journey. 

Lisa

You know almost everyone I know especially my co-workers told me the same thing 'you better not change'! At first I thought that why would they think that? I couldnt understand what they meant. After talking to a few and knowing  a few people that have had the surgery I do understand why now. Some people come out of surgety with a new zest for life, a new confidence that maybe they didnt have before. Friends and family tend to think that new confidence is conceited and see their loved ones as 'changed'. I have the same personality as you do and I guess everybody thought I am going to turn into a snob.  But dont worry you will be fine and you will put everyones fears to rest lol.  Good luck, Christy