Husband shows no interest

I was approved and my Husband doesnt really show any interest on my choice to have surgery.
I have been battling my weight for years. I thought he would be happy for me or show some interest in what I'm doing and he really doesn't ask any questions or pay attention to all I am doing or saying for that matter. The only thing he can do is point out the negative like...My skin is going to hang or will I be able to do this and have the will power? I havent heard not one positive thing come out of his month.
Has anyone gone through this? Any advice? I have my mother and many friends that have supported me since I began this journey but the one I love most (next to my mother and daughter) is the one I wish would come around and be there for me.
 I have my chin up and I'm continuing to do what I have been doing because it is for me! This proves to me that it has to be all about me right now or I will not succeed.

Have you told him how you feel on the subject? He may be afraid of losing you...I have seen it happen many times, we lose a small person worth the weight and no matter what we first think we all do change and some men (spouse) are threatened by this. If your marriage is a strong one and you two can talk you will get through this, if not I would suggest talking to a counselor even before your surgery.

Wishing you all the  best.

HUGS
JOY

Thanks Joy. I have tried talking to him about counseling and he is not interested in that option. We have a great relationship however when it comes to weight loss it's as if he wants me to remain this way. His friends say he is jealous and feels I will look better and move on. He knows he's my best friend and that I love him very much and wouldnt have it any other way. I was also told that he thinks I may die if I have this surgery and that he doesnt want to lose me that way. I tell him if I don't have it my chances of having a healthier life arent so bright. He understands it all.  The more I type and ramble on in this brain of mind I just realized that I guess I am not getting the reaction that I expected. Maybe he's just scared for me and doesn't know how to show it. I think I need a one on one intervention with him.
Thanks Joy. I guess I needed to rationalize out loud! ha! ha!

Hey congratulations on making the decision to lead a healthy lifestyle first of all!

Secondly people get weird around this surgery because they do not understand and Joy is right, he might be really afraid of losing you and being negative might be the only way he knows how to express himself. People do not like others to change sometimes because they take comfort in no change.

I hope that he will come around and show some interest and support you!

First of congratulations on your decision and approval.  This can be very hard on your spouse as they are not in control of it.  They are also going to have to have a "new" you and they loved the old one just they way she was.  They do worry that you are going to be smok'n hot afterwards and not want them.  My best advice is to sit down with him and be honest with him.  Tell him why you want the surgery and that you are his wife of +++ years and you love him as much today as you did the day you married him.  You are not going to be the only one that changes.  People around you will change the way they react to you.  People will pay more attention to you and men will notice you more.  It is hard enough on us, but it is also hard on those around us.  They get to watch it all.  Just love him and tell him how much you need his support and with his support you know you will succeed.  When you start exersizing and walking include him in as much as you can.  Wishing you the best of luck.

P.S. he may be pointing out the negatives as he is scared of the surgery, share your booklet your doctor gave to you with him, it will help him understand.
Rhonda

First of all.......Congrats on the decision and the approval for the WLS. You will have a great experience with Dr. Suh and his staff.

I think Jannine hit the nail on the head. It is human nature to resist change and most of us cant stand it. We become comfortable with the "known" and get scared of the "unknown". I have been very lucky so far with the support I get from my wife (except when she gets upset with my clothing issue.....Pants falling off in public LOL).

I would suggest making him go to the Support Group Meetings and the Seminars that you are required to attend by Dr. Suh. Some of it could be fear and not having the knowledge of whats going to happen and the progress tht will you will make. I tell my wife that I will be her "Trophy Husband" that she could parade around her friends and show off. It doesnt work all the time but sure is making her friends jealous at times LMAO.

Everything will workout and you know we men can be very stubborn and bull headed (as it should be). It just may take a little time.

Have a great day.........Rick

Congrats on your decision.  I went through the Kaiser Options 26 week program and etc.  During most of the 26 weeks, my husband did not appear interested and kept giving me his ideas as to how to lose weight. Of course, I had already tried everything he suggested.
However, on the way to the hospital for the wls, I read a lot of my homework/writing from the 26 week program, which gave him insight as to how I felt and how I saw myself (prior to surgery).  What I read to him were my thoughts, perceptions, wants, needs and what I feel like trapped in my body.  By the time we drove from Garden Grove to San Diego, my husband realized that I really needed to do what I thought was best for me.  My husband was so supportive at the hospital and continues to be everyday since my surgery, and I believe it is because I gave a him the bigger picture.  My husband was afraid that something would go wrong during the surgery more than he was about anything else.
Your husband probably does not understand or fully understand the whole concept of wls.  I agree with the other in that you should talk to him and let him know how you feel and why you are choosing the wls. Remember, your hubby is probably just uncertain and afraid for you.

Wishing you the best!

Terry