OT:The Friend We Want To Be

Thought I would share one of my posts I just did for the Over 50 people, Thought it would be helpful for new people as they will find friends and relationships change during this journey.

The Friend We Want To Be
Evaluating Our Relationships

There comes a time in all our lives when we may need to evaluate our relationships, making sure that they are having a positive effect on us, rather than dragging us down. Without realizing it, we may be spending precious time and energy engaging in friendships that let us down, rather than cultivating ones that support and nourish us along our path. Life, with its many twists, turns, and challenges, is difficult enough without us entertaining people in our inner circle who drain our energy. We can do so much more in this world when we are surrounded by people who understand what we're trying to do and who positively support our efforts to walk our path.

We can begin this evaluation process by simply noticing how we feel in the context of each one of our close relationships. We may begin to see that an old friend is still carrying negative attitudes or ideas that we ourselves need to let go of in order to move forward. Or we may find that we have a long-term relationship with someone who has a habit of letting us down, or not showing up for us when we need support. There are many ways to go about changing the status quo in situations like this, having a heart to heart with our friend showing through example. This process isn't so much about abandoning old friends as it is about shifting our relationships so that they support us on our journey rather than holding us back.

An important part of this process is looking at ourselves and noticing what kind of friend we are to the people in our lives. We might find that as we adjust our own approach to a relationship, challenging ourselves to be more supportive and positive, our friends make adjustments as well and the whole world benefits.

Darlene,

Thanks for sharing that.  It is a good thing to think about.

Rhonda

Morning Darlene
Your timing couldn't be better!  For the first time in a very long time I have started reaching outward...trying to form new friendships with people who understand the journey I am on and educate those who I enjoy being with but don't really have the knowledge of what this journey is all about.  And Janine's opening question...if you really knew me....these 2 topics go so hand in hand.  It is really scary sometimes to reach out..risk rejection, risk exposure.... that sometimes I tend to hold on to the friendships I have, regardless of how they effect my goals, my objectives..my success.  Change is scary.

Finding the Cali forum, this wonderful group of caring, loving gals and guys, was a stroke of luck for me. Here I can be myself...and give back to the ones who are just beginning their journey what has been so generously given to me as I continue mine. And because we start out with a common ground, the same beginning place, life time friendships can begin...postive, supportive, encouraging friendships, that help us become all of those things and more.
Thank you Darlene for a thought-provoking thread...I really enjoy these kind of postings....it helps to keep my decision 'real' and keeps me 'honest' with myself &_-
Nancy aka Sunray
Do. Or not Do. There is no Try...yoda, Star Wars

I knew there were a few people on this forum experiencing this so thought it might be helpful.

Thank you so much Darlene.  I have someone in my life that is doing just that and I so needed to read your post.  I needed a swift kick in my ass and need to rid myself of this ever draining friendship.  I am tired of trying to make them happy and I get nothing in return but saddness and tears.  I am done, and I will be back many more times to read and reread what you just wrote to keep me strong.

Thanks again, Love Diane

If your over 50 (we don't really care, you can be younger) come and join our forum. I post these type things to them all the time. I knew there were a few here having these issues so thought I would share this one. Glad it is able to help..

lol, thanks for saying IF I am over 50...I am so past 50, I am into my 60's, just don't tell my head that!  my broken down body already knows!

Love ya, Diane

Darlene,

Thank You!! I can so relate to this. I, too, will be reading and rereading this post. I feel as if it was written just  so I could see it. I have to learn this lesson and live it. You are such an eloquent writer. You put into words, the feeling that others are experiencing. Thank you.

Have a fantastic day!
Hugs & Friendship,

I did not write this, is comes from on of the newsletter I receive, and some are good to share with others..

Darlene,

What a great thing you shared.  All too often we get caught up in the day-to-day and don't take time to stop and evaluate.  This is a great reminder!  Thanks so much for posting it.

Hugs,
Barb