3 weeks post-op looking for support

I'm 3 weeks post-op with a RNY and I'm looking for support.  Recently I've been really tired & depressed.  My husband is trying to be supportive by encouraging me to sick to the diet & to walk with him every day, though its hard when I'm cooking him meals & he can eat what ever he wants.  The other day he went to Starbucks and downed my favorite drink in front of me.  So hard to hold the tears in since he keeps reminding me that my doc said no more frapachinos for the rest of my life.  So not fair.  I know he's trying to help, but it's hard to face those battles of not being able to eat or drink your favorite things again.  Has anyone else had trouble with this?

I'm soo sorry.  I am 3 weeks post op also and I am so tired of the blended food.  Tomorrow I can eat soft foods and I think that will be much better.  I have been very fortnate that my teenage daughter has been cooking meals.  There are several things I really miss (like your frapachinos) mine is popcorn, hotdogs and pizza. 

I would encourage you to stick with it.  I have spent a lot of time crying this last week also but decided yesterday to take a deep breath and move on.  You have accomplished a lot.  Don't focus on what you can not have but try to look at what you can do. 

There's nothing wrong with asking your husband to take over his own meals.  Maybe that would help you get through this difficult period. 

Thanks Patty, I'm trying!!!  We walked for about 30 min. last night around the lake & that helped.  In addition, we sat down and had a long talk about what each other is feeling.  My husband is 6'5 and about 200 lbs.  He's so used to eating what ever he wants so it makes it hard.  He said it's hard on him not to eat the things we used to as well.  Didn't think of it that way that he was changing his eating as well.  I know the change is hard for both of us, though I think it's for the better.  We were both eating pretty bad only he has a better metabolism than I do.  Anywho, thank for the support! 

Aimee

You need family support to get through these first few weeks. You may have to eat by yourself to avoid distractions like you mentioned. But help is only a few days away. Dr. Suh has a suppor group meeting in Murietta on July 6, one in Redlands on July 7, and one in Corona on July 14. There is plenty of support from other RNY post ops there.  Hope to see you there.  Dr. Suh has another meeting in Hesperia later in the month too. So there are plenty of choices. You may want to attend more than one meeting per month. I, and a few others, do attend more than one of Dr. Suh's groups each month. DAVE

Dave,

Thank you so much for the info.  I would love to go to get more support from others.  I'm going for my one month visit with Suh on July 9th.  Can you give me more details on where the meeting are.... addresses or give me a link as to where I can find more info on meetings like this.  Congrats on all of your success with the surgery.  It sounds like you really have done well with the surgery.
Aimee

http://www.crownsurgery.com/BA-SupportGroupSchedules.htm is a link that lists dates and locations. If you have questions about getting there, please PM me. Start times are supposed to be 7 PM, but I and others are normally there by 6:30. DAVE

Thanks Dave I found the web site will look at it more tomorrow, I'm packing for my hubby. He is leaving  for a trip to GA for a week  

Aimee,

This is one heck of a journey that you are on. Trust me when I say this, you will have good days and bad ones. It's just the stage that you are in right now, that is making things tough for you. When you are a little farther out, you won't feel like you are being deprived and you won't miss those fraps! I still go to starbucks, but I will either get a iced tea or a bananna choc vivanno made with nonfat milk, since I am not a coffee drinker. But the point is, NOTHING tastes as good as thin feels!

I can still remember when I was 3 weeks out and could not eat anything and everytime a Taco Bell commercial would come on the TV, I would be droooling! That went away!! There will be time when you won't want those things. Remember, you made this choice! This is a lifestyle CHOICE not a conviction! There are days when I am down in the dumps and super depressed, but then I look at pictures of my old 326lb self and think "God, I made it this far, there is NO WAY I am going back"! 

As far as my favorite things go, I have new favorite things. I used to love, love anything super sweet and sugary and now, I look for things that taste yummy and are healthy. I am 33 years old and finally, I feel like I am 33! I spent all my 20's being overweight and there is no way I am going to waste any moment of my 30's, due to food! Your mind also needs to change. What can happen is, your not really hungry, but your old mind will tell you, you are. That is when you need to start to recognize the signs of the head hunger and take control of it. If your husband wants to down a Frapachino, by all means let him, this choice is about you! You are the one that has to take control of your life and what you choose to eat and not eat!

 Please remember that we have all been there before and some of us, to this day still have trouble with food. That is why, we are all here to support one another.

Julie

Wow! That was very well said. I sure as hell can relate with you there and also take a few things of what you said and implement those in my daily life. Great words of encouragement! Enjoy Your 4th!