What would you do???

What would you do if you KNEW someone was cheating on their partner?

Would you tell the one who was being cheated on?
Or would you confront the one who was cheating?
Or would you just keep quiet?  

I am asking this because I seen a TV show where people where put in the same spot. Of course it was all a set up, but they wanted to see how a “friend" would react to the problem at hand. That show got me thinking, what would I do? I am totally stuck as to what I would do. I could not come up with an answer, and that confused me. I would not want to hurt my friend, but I would not want to see them hurt when they found out. So I think I might confront the cheater. Maybe with a baseball bat.  

So think about this and let me know………What would you do??
By the way this is the name of show. (What would you do)   

Lu

I have actually been in this situation and I told the person being cheated on.  Of course, she confronted him.  He spun his web of lies and I was the "evil, jealous, b*tch" who was just out to get him.  She stopped talking to me.  They're still together and he still cheats.  Not sure how I would handle  it a second time now.  Just always believed in honesty, but it can hurt.

another view of this, is what would YOU want someone to do if they knew that YOU were being cheated on.... would you want them to tell you? or confront your partner? or...?

Hey Lu,

That's a good, thought provoking question for the day.  I think I would approach the cheater first and see how they reacted to being confronted.  If they were not remorseful or told me to stay out of their business I might wait a while and see where it all went.  If the person being cheated on was my very good friend, after a reasonable time for the cheater to get their act together, if they did not, I would probably tell my friend.  However, before doing that, I would have to weigh my options.  Is my friend's happiness more important than my actual friendship with that person. Often times, when it comes to the cheater or the friend, the cheater will win the right to keep the relationship.  The friend will become the villian.  Eventually, the person being cheated on, will realize their friend was right, but by then, pride usually will not allow the friendship to resume.  However, I would still take the chance of losing the friendship if it meant stopping the injustice against my friend.

Steph

Years ago Matthew found out that a friend was being cheated on by his girlfriend. Actually, several of our friend knew he was being cheated on, but Matthew was the only one who had the balls to tell our friend the truth. He ended up marrying the girl and having a child with her, but she continued her cheating ways. They ended up divorcing over it and he retained custody of their son.

I think I would tell my friend they were being cheated on...and try and help. But you know, it would be hard if they continued to stay with that person and you knew they were still cheating..I'm afraid the friendship would be over if they didn't believe me too.

dh had this sort of thing with his best friend. He knew the woman was cheating on his friend...or at least not being honest. He married the girl anyway. Two years later, he came home and found the house empty and the car gone...woman gone too...it was really sad when he showed up on hubbies doorstep with just his clothes saying he was right all along...really really sad.

Great 'ponder for the day' question, Lu.  In my opinion, this is one of those situations you are gonna come up the loser either way. You run the risk of losing the friendship if you tell your friend: the jerk convinces her he'll change or denies it all together and she believes him, and blames you for causing the mistrust.  You also run the risk of losing the friendship by not telling her; she finds out one way or the other, learns that you knew about it and didn't tell, you become the villan again because you 'protected' him.  Depending on the closeness of the friendship, my actions would be either not say anything (if the relationship wasn't that close) or bring up the subject of cheating without directly referring to her relationship.  Women are extremely intuitive; she may already be aware something is wrong in the relationship or even suspect that he is cheating on her...and just not ready to face it head on.  Diplomacy in either situation is required when dealing with this touchy subject ^_^ IMH(umble)O
Nancy aka Sunray