a little frustrated today

Well.. I don't want to ***** but I feel the need to vent a little today.  I had my appt. to remove my staples and I was really frustrated after my appointment.  I want to be very careful here to say that I think my surgeon is a great one and has a wonderful track record and Im happy I had my surgery with this program, however, the appt. left me feeling upset.

I have followed everything to a tee.. liquid diet 2 weeks before and now 2 weeks after it as of tomorrow.  Had my protein, vitamins and fluids.  I've lost 33 lbs since july 2nd when I started my liquid diet and he had nothing positive to say to me.

As he took out my staples he said.. you really need to get this weight off, It's all in your abdomen which is the worst place to have it.  And I was like well.. I just spent 4 weeks not eating and had the surgery, lost 33lbs in less than 4 weeks, isn't that good?   I wish I would have actually said this but I didn't. I just said well Im on my way.  and he kept stressing that I just really needed to lose this weight.

They did a biopsy of my liver during the surgery and it came back mildly inflamed but no cirrosis which is awesome!  But.. then he went on to say if I didn't lose the weight it would become that and it can cause me to die.  And began to tell me about the patient he saw just before me and her cirrosis and her revision because she couldn't change her behaviors.   I felt awful about this because I knew who she was and we had been talking in the lobby for awhile because he was an hour late into the office.  He may have been trying to scare me or something.. but i just got upset.

I told him I was concerned because at first I could only eat 1/3 of a jello cup and feel full and now I can eat a whole jello cup and not feel full.. and he said.. well Jello isn't what made you gain all your weight, I don't think its an issue.  But my point was I was worried I could eat too much without feeling full.   So I just said eff it and ended my appt.

There is another surgeon there that is really compassionate and warm and I do better with that, he was the 2nd surgeon on my surgery and saw me once in the hospital.  However, my surgeon owns the practice.  I don't know if I should ask to see the other one or not in the future or if this will cause issues and I should just grin and bear it for my appts.

Other people came out of their appointments happy and I came out upset and feeling like eff it.. I want to eat.. I know thats the wrong answer and i didn't but I recognized this stress upset eating thing.  He didn't say one positive thing. like you are doing well or good job so far.. and I just don't do well without positive motivation.

Should I just suck it up or see if i can make it better?

Thanks for your opinions.

Jackie

Jackie,
 
I am sorry that you had such a bad appointment. I think you are doing a damn good, make that great job! You have such willpower! When we went to lunch on Saturday, you were such an inspiration to me! To be surrounded by the sights and smells of food and people eating, but you held strong and drank your water. I was like Holy Crap! I hope one day I am that strong! 33 pounds? Are you kidding me? You so get a happy dance for that!   

You are a very special person, never give someone the power to let you feel bad about yourself. I want to congratulate you on recognizing what could have ended in disaster, that he triggered your stress/upset eating. I don't want to make excuses for his inexcusable behavior, but it could be he had a bad day, or the patient before you had streached his patience, or he was just frustrated with running an hour behind. No excuse for bad bedside manners, but all we can control is ourselves.

Keep up the great work. If you ever need to talk, you have my number. Congrats again on the weight loss and a clear biopsy! You are doing a fantastic job!   I can't offer any advice on the jell-o eating as you know I am still pre-op for a couple more days, but I am sure you will have plenty of great advice from some very caring people to help you with that. Good luck.

Hugs, Love, & friendship always, my friend! and keep your eyes on the horizon!

are you measuring your intake? this is the time when your new pouch is learning how to be a stomach. The area of the pouch has never had to do this work before. It is important that you measure your foods so you can teach it what full feels like.

As you progress to other foods you will be getting the full feeling. Journalling is important also...

33 pounds is good.....:)

I know it is hard Jackie but don't let it get you down.  You are doing fantastic.  I don't know if I could have done all liquids 2 weeks before and after surgery.  33 lbs is wonderful.  Just think...have you ever lost 33 lbs in a month before?  Don't let what he said or lack of what he said get to you.  You are strong and run here.  We will support you and cheer you on. 

Oh Jackie . . . hugs to you!  33 lbs IS great . . . and you've had this operation because you know it is going to alter your life.  Know you are on the right track, you are doing what you need to do . . . maybe add some more walking until you can start doing more strenuous exercise . . . and hang in there!  As for asking to see the other doctor . . . when you make your next appointment, as if he is available . . . and if doctor #1 asks why you did that, tell him you needed a different bedside manner (I know - easier said than done) . . .but this if for YOU - not him - and you need positive input along with any other input.

Congrats to you . . . I heard on Sunday how amazing you were to sit and have water on Saturday at the gathering . . . wow - Way to go!  You ARE on the right track!

Hugs
Chris

Oh jackie, I am so sorry about your experience with your Doc, remember one thing, you have lost 33 pounds which is great, it is a loss. Good for  you. Number two, maybe he was having a bad day and he didn't get any the night before. Number three, I will go to the Doc with you next time, and I will give him the what for.
My Friend, you are doing great, this weight did not come on over night and it will not go off over night. You are doing what you are suppose to do. Keep your head up, keep coming here for support, look at all the great people you have met that will help you and you have heard the success stories.

Let me know when your next appointment is, I will go with you.

You are doing great. Some Doc's don't have good bed side manners.

Hang in there baby, you are awesome.
Hugs & Love,
Karen

First off HUGS TO YOU!!!

Second would be you have the right to switch your doctor.. Just because a doctor owns a practice does not make him have a good bedside manner or be the best in the field. If you do not feel comforable and he is making you feel bad, switch!!! I am in the medical field and I can tell you some doctors are just a**..... Personally a good bed side manner is VERY important part of being a doctor!! Especially in this area!!!!

You are doing a great job! Screw him!!!!

Tanya

Jackie,

Way to go on the loss of 33 lbs, that's fantastic and you are working it girl.  With regard to the doc....  years ago I worked for an oncologist, nice guy, smart guy, but absolutely NO common sense.  I discovered then that they are just people some are wonderful and some are ******** who have too much ego.  To this point and more than once, I have changed docs within a practice for one who had a better bedside manner or personality.  There is a very good chance that his staff knows this about him.  When you schedule your next appt, schedule it with the other doc and I would seriously doubt they'd think twice about it.

I thank God everyday for having had the opportunity to work for a dr as I learned a valuable lesson.  I now am quite outspoken about my own health and my family members health with Drs, I will ask questions and more questions and do my research.  Once there was a Dr in a hospital where my mom was, who had publicly humiliated a nurse in front of me.  I stepped in and told him he had no right to publicly humiliate her and who hell did he think he was.  The whole nursing staff came up to me afterwards and thanked me because apparently he does (and I hope doesn't anymore) this all the time.

So do not suck it up, his practice needs you as a patient as much as you need them, remember you're money is sending his kids to college!  LOL

Hold your head up and you go girl!

Hugs,
Barb

Hi, Jackie--

Whatever you do, don't take the doctor's actions personally.  I think some doctors become surgeons because they don't know how to behave around patients who are awake!  As others have said, you are going fantastic--losing about A POUND A DAY!!!

I know that we talked about this extensively yesterday, and I am so glad to see you came over here and posted.  I did forget to tell you, one of my visits to him, he was eating something, I asked what it was.  He stated he was having a tablespoon of peanut butter, and also said to me, you will never be able do that.  Nice guy.  I hated his bedside manner, I was told the same thing, they are very rude, and him especially.  If I had known before of his aftercare treatment I would have chosen another doctor.  I guess what annoyed me the most, for 8 months I was puking, and everytime I called them, never got an answer back.  Then when I did see his "internest" who was just as non supportive, she didn't care either.  I am grateful that it stopped.  I finally had enough and after my one year, I no longer go to him.  They called for almost a year after urging me to make an appt.  I had my one year blood tests request took it to my doctor (PCP) and I have my blood work done every year without having to spend $350.00 a visit at his office.  I was appauled also, that not ONE office visit was included in the price of the surgery.  In my opinion, I wonder if he cares about his patients or if it's just business.

You have done well Jackie.  I know how hard it is, being morbidly obese is not easy, going as long as you had with no food is not an easy feat for anyone, but I think it really is hard on us.   Don't take it to heart, if there are 2 of us, there are probably alot more unhappy patients.  Consider the source and that you aren't alone.

Keep up the great work, and you will be as sucessful as you want to be, I know you are modivated, as we all ate the other day, you drank water.  When I was a week or two out, I would not even consider looking at food, it drove me nuts to see someone eating. 

Hugs, Diane