Tons of Anxiety - Just getting the feelings out

Hi all,

Here I am sitting at my desk at work and feeling tons of anxiety. These two things usually put me in the mood to pig out, binge, overeat, eat compulsively, however you want to name it.

I had a strange exchange today with a person I manage.  She asked my ideas about the topic for a talk our boss has to give. I gave her suggestions and she kept being very negative about my ideas. I didn't understand the negativity so I asked her what the goals or desired outcome of the conference was where he's speaking and she just said it's about parks!! I asked again, what they are trying to accomplish by bringing all these people together. She looked irritated and stomped over to my desk with the paperwork for the event. I read the first 2 sentences and figured out the goal of the conference and proceeded to suggest what the topics should be. 

I tend to want to be liked so when someone is tempermental or just strange, I tend to blame myself or assume I am causing someone to act like this, but I wasn't. I know I did nothing wrong, but I still feel bad and have a ton of anxiety over it.

Thanks for listening. I wanted to bang this out on a keyboard instead of eat.

MsBlues

I think that everyone wants to be liked, no one wants to be rejected. I think its especially true when you're fat. It's so much harder to be respected, appreciated, accepted when you don't look 'normal'.

Its easy to become a people pleaser, willing to do/say anything so that you're not rejected.  But what good does that do? Sometimes you end up devaluing your own worth, thinking that what you have to contribute isn't so great or you hold back because you don't want to upset anyone.

Its human nature to think its all about us. "what did I do wrong?" "how come they don't like me?"....and sometimes its not even about us! The other person has their own hangups going on, they're in a bad mood, preoccupied with something at home, who knows?  it could be a million other things.

I'm willing to bet that your professional experience and ideas were relevant and darn good!! How different would your co-worker have responded if you had asserted yourself or asked what was up with her moody response?

Good for you for typing it out instead of snacking! You're changing how you deal with life!! It's a good thing!!

Yep  that's what we're here for LOL  You bang away Lady...you can't imagine the number of ears and eyes you have that will listen/read   Having just experienced the emotion overload last weekend and wanting to hit the snacks soooo badly...I can completely empathize with where you are at...BUT!  Be PROUD of yourself!  You found an alternative to eating your way out of the feelings....Congratulations!  Don't it feel wonderful??  
{{{Hugs}}}
Nancy aka Sunray

MsBlues:

From what I've been able to observe of you on these boards, you would provide advice and suggestions in a very productive manner and never try to step on anyone's toes. 

I think we tend to take the weight of everyone else's issue on ourselves, as people with food and weight issues.  Hence our excess weight I suppose.  We want to please everyone and think we can make everyone like us.  I know I suffer greatly from this.

We can't do it though.  There will always be people who can't take constructive advice or suggestions.  It's their own issues, not you.  And we can't please everyone or make everyone like us. 

Just know you've done nothing wrong and that food isn't the answer.  The people on these boards are here for you.  Keep writing instead of turning to food.  I have no doubt you're a very good manager.

My mother-in-law used to ask my opinions just so she could turn around and tell me I was wrong, thus putting me down made her feel good about herself.  This may be what that person was doing.  There is really nothing you could have said to please this person. If she does this alot I would not even give her the time of day. That is what I eventually had to do. 

MsBlues
You are not alone as Monica and others pointed out in their posts.  I relate to what you are saying in your post, which means been there and sometimes still there. It is difficult to talk about it; however, you did.  You opened up about your anxiety and this was a great alternative to grabbing the food and eating so much you get sick and feel guilty and rotten. 
I just wanted to say that you can post anytime and we will hear, listen and respond.  You are not alone.
Hugs
Terry

MsBlues,  you did the right thing.
don't let other's crappy attitude lead you to eat.
i was at a class today and this was a topic, how we react to the stress.
and how to assign a diff word to the stress, becuase it's such a broad term

Hi all,

Thanks for the kind words and support. Sunray, I am proud of myself for handling the situation without food. I normally wouldn't give myself credit for that, but I am going to dammit!!! 

Life without turning to food everytime and feeling your feelings is actually OK.  It's better than OK!! Instead I reached out, got support, had the chance to connect with my OH friends, and didn't feel physically horrible.

Take Care All! Thanks again.

MsBlues